Giant alligators are about to get Ironsided in Lake Placid 3

Good GOD look at that tagline. "Don't Forget You're Lunch!" This is...gonna...be...AWESOME!! The cover art looks like a scene out of Shark Attack 3. That lady is just kind of "disappearing" into that alligator's mouth. I LOVE IT! Much improved from that horrible Lake Placid 2 cover.

That's right, there's a Lake Placid 3 coming. Does anyone remember Lake Plaid 2? No one? That's no surprise. Unless you're a SyFy channel junkie I doubt you caught it anywhere. If you saw the cover art to LP2 then you'd know you were in for a shit storm. It seriously looked like it was made in MS Paint. LP2, have you never heard of Lunapic? Get with the times.

But I have higher hopes for Lake Placid 3. The cover art is a little better, just a little. The trailer (you can see below) still has the shitty CGI alligators but who knows, we could be in for some surprises. But the CAST, that's what I'm all about. The lead from guy from SyFy's Eureka is in it, Colin Ferguson, the gal from Hard Target, TV's shitty attempt at Witchblade, and the more recent Kick-Ass, Yancy Butler (she was like the Amy Whinehouse of the 90's), but the man I'm most excited to see (and whom I'm sure will only survive 8 minutes) is Michael Ironside. Star of Scanners, Total Recall, and Extreme Prejudice. (click that link, you won't regret it)

This is Michael Ironside...waiting for ice cream.

Michael Ironside is one of those actors that pops up in EVERYTHING but not enough people appreciate him. His growly voice resonates deep into our souls with every appearance. He knows what he wants and he fucking TAKES IT. He is Michael Ironside. And these fucking alligators in Lake Placid 3 are about to get Ironsided.

(Thanks to my friend J-man for coining the term, "Ironsided". I can't possibly use it enough)

And now enjoy the Ironsiding in the official Lake Placid 3 trailer complete with FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!!


Lake Placid 3 - Unrated Trailer
Uploaded by dreadcentral. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

Wait a minute, did they fucking kill Ironside IN THE TRAILER!? This can't be happening. Why would anyone watch this or even show some interest when the MAIN DRAW is dead. I bet he actually survives and this is how the movie ends.

A man can dream can't he?

Check out Dread Central for the unimportant synopsis and press release of this soon to be classic bad movie.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Starship Troopers (1997)

What could possibly be better than melting arms, severed heads, torn bodies, and senseless destruction…all caused by an alien race of massive bugs?  Starship Troopers throws down all of these wonderful things along with so much more.

I’ve always liked this movie.  I’ve seen it a dozen times, if not more.  I was younger when I first saw it and it catapulted my infantile interest in science fiction to a whole new level.  I like everything about the movie, its one of those that you can just watch over and over and really never tire of.

The actors in this movie are wonderful.  Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer (the Saw films), Denise Richards, Jake Busey, and even Neil Patrick Harris.  They all comprise a massive storyline beginning with most of them being friends in school, then expanding out over a VAST amount of space to their new positions within the federation.  Eventually they all come back together in the end for the finale.  There is also a wonderful part filled by none other than Michael Ironside.  That guy plays the Lieutenant down perfectly and he is so full of inspirational sayings.  Everything he says has such great meaning to it.

Now I have to talk about the special effects.  GREAT special effects.  There is a decent amount of CGI but it is done very well so it’s pretty hard to tell that it’s fake.  Plus how the creatures are designed and how they move, it would be pretty hard to do it any other way.  It has a perfect blend of CGI and make up effects.  There are plenty of scenes that will gross you out.

There’s not much else to say.  It has a great mix of everything from relationships, to humor, to scares, to gore.  It’s an all around wonderful movie to sit down and enjoy.  I highly recommend you check it out.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Scanners (1981)

This movie will blow your mind!  I'm totally freaked out man.  Just kidding...but there is exploding heads and that is all you really need to know to make you want to see this movie had you not already.  Go ahead...I'll wait while you go watch it.  I'll just sit here and reminisce about how amazing it is.

Ok, you saw it right?  Pretty sweet huh?  I know, I know.  Michael Ironside is kick ass as the rogue scanner playing by his own rules aint he? hahaha ok ok, i'm done now.  The film is yet again another...Cronenberg Classic.  The majority of his work is classic and you can't call yourself much of a horror fan without watching and appreciating this man's work.  I love his use of effects and gore is used to enhance the experience rather than exploit it.  Like with the fly remake, this film has some very kick ass scenes but it doesn't detour you from the overall story.

I really enjoyed the cast.  The only one I'm familiar with is Michael Ironside.  I like that guy, I think he's so powerful on screen.  I really enjoyed the performances of the other main actors as well.  They didn't take anything too far and they were actually quite believable.  Who knew that mind fights could be so intense.  Quick shot to his face...back to the other guys face...flip flop flip flop.  Sounds awful but it was very enjoyable.

I love the idea of the scanners.  Telepathy and mind powers are great all in their own, but what Cronenberg created as a back story of their creation is anything but short of genius.  You could say there's some societal overtones there with medicine and drugs being the main cause of these mutations.  Perhaps a brief foreshadow of our next leap in the evolutionary chain?

You will probably want to watch it again after reading this just cause its so awesome.  I won't stop you, god knows I'll probably punch it in again soon.  I'm telling you the head explosion scene is the most amazing effect I've ever seen.  Well probably not, but in the past 2 hours it has.  It won't leave you disappointed and it will definately keep you interested and wanting to know more.