Tim Thomerson has a new movie coming and he wants the head of Lance Henriksen.

BREAKING NEWS!

So I'm sitting down in my basement watching Scream of the Banshee and I decide to hop on IMDb and do some tooling around. 'Scream' has Lance Henriksen in it so I decide to see what he's up to. Then I find a movie in post production titled, "Bring me the Head of Lance Henriksen".

Before I knew what I was doing I was already on the page. HOLEE SHIT. Let me just throw the synopsis at you:

When 80s B-movie icon Tim Thomerson wakes up day to realize the acting roles are not coming his way any more, he sets out on a quest to find his former co-star Lance Henriksen to discover his secret of Hollywood longevity and gets more than he bargained for in the process.

It's like the filmmakers crawled into my brain and scooped out the idea for a movie that I've always wanted! Even JOHN SAXON makes an appearance. I love this movie already. No matter what Hollywood puts out, we will NEVER forget the 80s and the heroes that existed there.

This movie is going to be the pinnacle of this years entertainment. (assuming it comes out this year). I think its safe to say that this movie WILL be movie of the year. Hands down.

And we're just getting started.

OH SHIT ADRIENNE BARBEAU!!

Movie: MONSTER BRAWL brings fights to the graveyard

This just in from Shock Til You Drop

MONSTER BRAWL! A free for all deathmatch between histories greatest monsters. On Pay Per View!! This is gonna be crazy. I'm keeping my eye on this. It sounds terribly awesome. I can't wait.

Here's what STYD had to say...

The filmmakers behind Scarce are going to be ringleaders of a Monster Brawl.

Dave Foley, Robert Maillet, wrestling vets Jimmy Hart and Kevin Nash, MMA ref Herb Dean and Lance Henriksen are participating in this horror-comedy shooting up in Ontario for Foresight Features.

The film depicts an action-packed fighting tournament set in an abandoned graveyard transformed into a brawling venue. Brawl promises to feature a roster of classic monsters, battling to the death in an explosive Pay-Per-View television broadcast format.

Foresight Features is producing Monster Brawl as their flagship film with plans to produce two features annually for the next five years. Their next feature, Exit Humanity, is set to shoot starting October 18th, 2010.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Near Dark (1987)

Near Dark is a very slick vampire flick...even though the word vampire is never mentioned. It's basically about a guy who is attracted to this girl he sees and from outta nowhere he is thrust into a world that he is completely unprepared to deal with. They roam the midwest killing people and drinking their blood every night. It's a gruesome deed but it must be done for their survival.

It's great to see the team from Aliens brought back together. Not all of them of course, but we got Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, and Jenette Goldstein. They all had an epic ora to themselves, especially Bill Paxton. His character Severn really stole the show. I find it hard to believe that this movie would be any better without him. He had all the great lines and he was one sick evil dude. Lance was mostly the evil one, he's so awesome when he takes command of the screen.

The effects are great. Although they are deathly allergic to sunlight they seem to find themselves getting stuck in the sun on more than a few occasions during the hour and a half on screen. You'd think after decades of doing this that they'd have a system down for staying out of the sunlight. Maybe set up stations all over the US or something. Who am I to argue with the motives of the undead?

Either way, Near Dark is one hell of a ride. It starts off rather intriguing, playing on the assumption that the viewer knows what a vampire is and the rules of being a vampire. I love that aspect of it and how the story wraps around that theme. The deaths are cool, the characters are slick, and the night has its price.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

HE was born. HE met his match. HE conquered Earth. HE traveled the stars. HE punished the guilty. HE faced his adversary again. HE defeated the army which opposed him....and now the always gruesome and ever so infamously evil PINHEAD takes on his most challenging opponent....a group of internet nerds. You'd think I'm joking, but seriously that's the Hellraiser saga. He had a pretty decent run...and then (as the tagline goes) Evil Goes Online. Oh my GOD that's so awful. What the hell happened? How dare you taint my glorious Pinhead saga with this atrocious piece of garbage!

The acting is awful. It's like if Hellraiser had sex with I know what you did last summer and their offspring (while in it's "wild" years) had a gangbang with Friday the 13th Part 5, Bishop from Aliens, and a shitty Horror script writer and got pregnant. That 4 way child would be Hellraiser: Hellworld. It comes off like just your average teen slasher. I HATE THAT!!

Pinhead has never laid a finger on anyone. He gives ORDERS. He tells his cenobytes what to do, he tells people what to do, and he tells those sweet ass chains what to do. They all do it, cuz Pinhead is the shit and will never have to cut someone's head off with a cleaver. Oh wait....Hellworld. Fuck you Hellworld, Pinhead don't play dat. I mean did you seriously not see any of the other films? They ranged from sick to action to psychological...but none of them ever graced the teen slasher genre.

I almost never say this, but I desperately plead with you that you steer clear of this movie. You are guaranteed to be disappointed. Especially if you're a Hellraiser fan in any sense. But if you're like me and you have to have them all and you need to see them all...you'll HAVE to watch it. Really does help you appreciate the originals.

Even though this film is utter shit, it does have some redeeming qualities. First and foremost...the lead chick has an aweful close resemblence to pornstar Jenna Haze. That's a nice little piece of eye candy you can stare at for an hour and a half. The other thing is Lance Henrikson. That guy either finds himself in really good or really shitty sequels. Example....Aliens (awesome!) & Mangler 2 (awful!). But the final scene with him is also very gratifying. It doesn't justify torturing yourself through the entire film to see it, but it is both "classic" Hellraiser and very satisying to the eyes.

I hope they would make another sequel, but it sounds like their going with a remake. I guess more Pinhead at all is a good thing. I would like to see another sequel. Even though I did enjoy the more psychological thriller sequels as much as any of them, I would very much like to see them go in the vein of the first two with over the top gore and a kick ass backstory. Maybe they can get Ashley Laurence in for another one. Pinhead vs Kirsty Cotton...the final blow to the series. I just don't want to see it end like this.