Monday, March 7, 2011



Come one! Come all! To the greatest event of the year! The Bad Movie Battle Royale! Place your bets, place your bets. 12 contenders walk in, only 1 of them will be walking out. A fight to the death.

Let's meet the contenders!

The Amazing Bulk (rated 5.63)
Future-Kill (rated 2.25)
Quest for the Mighty Sword (rated 5.50)
TerrorVision (rated 5.38)
Alligator (rated 6.38)
Rumpelstiltskin (rated 5.63)
R.O.T.O.R. (rated 5.13)
She (rated 5.75)
Alienator (rated 6.25)
Panman (rated 5.00)
Orca: The Killer Whale (rated 8.00)
Birdemic (rated 5.88)

And Star Crystal is out of the royale for steroid use. (and cuz my vhs is a piece of shit)

We're winding down on the reviews. I watched 3 of the last 4 contenders this weekend and let me tell you...we're up for some real challenges.

So here's what's gonna happen. I've got a movie to give to you. (Actually I don't but I will find one.) I can assure you of 2's a DVD and it'll be bad. Awesomely bad. (and probably a used copy) but's free so shut up.

First you need to be a follower. Either here, or facebook, or Twitter. THEN its time to place your bets. In the comments section of this post put your name, your email, and who you think will win. Or shoot me an email if you'd rather not announce your email to the world. Then once all the reviews are in I'll give it a few days for everyone to place their bets and then It's Clobberin Time.

And don't worry if more than one person bets on the same contender. Let's say 3 people bet on Orca to win. And then Orca does win. Then those 3 people that bet on Orca will get their name put in a hat and drawn at random. Then lets say nobody bets on Future-Kill (Which I strongly advocate NOT betting on him. I think the decks are stacked on that guy). But then let's say Future-Kill wins, then EVERYONE'S name who placed bets gets put in a hat and drawn at random.

That's the name of the game friends.  LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE!!!!!


  1. Quest for the Mighty Sword for the WIN!

  2. Damn, I've been an Orca fan since he entered the game but Terrorvision? And Alligator? You're killing me. I think Terrorvision could be a fairly strong contender if its been keeping up its health. I don't know if it will hold up since it's pretty old. Though we all thought it was retired after VHS...too tough to call.

  3. I think TerrorVision still has what it takes. It's proof that you can't kill the 80's no matter what decade it is. Watched that over the weekend. Review coming soon...

    Also I forgot to mention that this is my first contest and I'd really like to thank everyone for their support for the blog and more importantly: ACTUALLY READING IT. That's what this contest is really about. Giving something back to you all for being so awesome.

  4. This is so hard! There's no clear winner but I think I see a couple of clear losers:

    Birdemic - I think this was bad on purpose. Not cool.
    Future-Kill - Misleading on purpose. Definitely not cool.

  5. If Birdemic was done bad on purpose that sure would ruin the fun of it.

    Boy did we laugh though.

  6. Panman should win, and that's who I'm voting for.

  7. Nathan

    Alligator's taking this one.

  8. Matt


    (and I'll shoot you my e-mail later)

  9. TerrorVision FTW!

  10. I love "TerrorVision", but I gotta bet on "She" for this one:




    I... oh dear. I just realized that my email is the same name as the movie I picked, and I didn't even do that on purpose. Huh.

  11. I love "Alligator" and I love "Terrorvision" but "Orca" kicked some serious ass. I'm backing that beauty. I'd love to see "Alligator" kick in for a tag team match, though. Just sayin.

  12. Panman would beat a whale's ass anyday.

  13. Jess

    Rumpelstiltskin all the way baby!

  14. I want to go with Orca as it is the only movie I am aware of with revenge done by a whale due to Whale abortion buuuuuuuttttt I have to go with Birdemic. I don't feel this was done on purpose, have you seen interviews with the director. He is bat shit crazy. A good list for sure but without Troll 2 Birdemic has my money.

  15. The Amazing Bulk, Alienator, and Future-Kill are still wide open for anyone willing to put their money on them. I wouldn't put it on Future-Kill but that's me...

  16. I predict Panman will take out Orca for the win, but I'll still be cheering for Orca.

    morbidementia at gmail dot com