BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Descent (2005)

There's something about a chick dripping in blood, a torch in one hand, a femur in the other, and going medieval on a cave creature's ass that just gives me a hard on.

The Descent is just an amazing film. Anticipation and the unknown are what drive this movie. There really isn't much to "see" in the first hour of the movie, but there's still enough reality going on to make anyone tremble in their seat. The scene were they go through a VERY narrow opening was almost hard to watch because I am slightly claustrophobic myself and I could almost feel the walls closing in on me.

Once the shit hits the fan though, it is just a hell-storm from that point to the end. Pure, unrelenting terror. It's well worth the wait just to see the chaos and the ending. The cave "crawlers" are scary as hell. They seem to pop up out of EVERYWHERE, and being they have the ability to climb virtually anywhere, its no surprise for them to just...show up.

The Descent is a film that should, neh MUST, be seen by anyone fascinated in horror. It deals with so many aspects of terror. Death of family and friends, startles, fear of the unknown, fear of isolation. Its all there. You can even view it as a metaphorical film, showing "The Descent" into madness.

From my understanding, the US version DVD has a different "happier" ending, which I strongly suggest you avoid, because the Unrated Original Version's ending is much darker and much better.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Dog Soldiers (2002)

This movie, in my opinion, is the single greatest werewolf movie to exist. I am not a fan of the werewolf. There are a few films of the genre that are good. I like the Gingersnaps trilogy and The Howling was good, but Dog Soldiers fucking kicked my ass.

If you're looking for a reason to watch it, even knowing well that it kicks serious ass, is that it stars Kevin McKidd. If you dont know who that is... I can't explain it, but look him up on IMDb. His work is becoming legendary and I really really really liked him in NBC's Journeyman...which was cancelled after its first season. Fuck you NBC.  You may have also seen him in HBO's Rome. Sorry...I seem to get sidetracked with these damned reviews. The point is, the guy's just an amazing actor. This is the first role I really noticed him in, and I was hooked ever since.

The thing that makes this movie so great, and which is also pointed out in most reviews, is that you actually CARE about these people. From the moment you see them all, you actually would like to see them all make it to the end. It's a shame they all don't, but their deaths will live on in this movie for all eternity.

The wolves themselves were terrifying. They're fucking enormous for one, and their teeth are huge. Not to mention vicious as hell and huuuungry. The reason I like them so much is because they're all puppets and guys in suits. It worked real well in the film. They do have a lot of good clear shots, but they usually dont hold suite long enough for the wolves to do anything since they are puppets and all. That's alright though, the director does a good enough job that you really don't notice and honestly...really dont care.

I remember the second time I watched this movie I was eating supper. I'd seen it before a few months back and finally got my hands on a copy for myself. Well after seeing it and pretty much knowing what was going on....a man jumped outta the bushes and scared me half to death....and kool-aid went all over the my clothes, the carpet, and my nice lazyboy chair. I dont even care, its worth it.

All-in-all Dog Soldiers is another must see horror flick. I think it will make its way into the classics division if it hasn't already. I know I'll be watching it for years to come. Take it from me, I dont particularly care for werewolves...but this baby takes the cake.