DOOM'D Review: Spaced Invaders (1990)

This is a review that’s been a long time coming. It should’ve been here ages ago…but that’s ok. It’s here, it’s hip, and it’s still the greatest movie ever.

This movie is a staple of my LIFE. If you want to know what it is to be a part of Mr. Gable…you only need to watch Spaced Invaders. It has everything I’ve come to love about movies today. Crazy story, fun adventures, amazing practical effects, hilarious dialogue, robots, rednecks, old men with shotguns, and funky music. That being said, let the review begin:

CRAZY STORY: Martians exist and their battle fleet is heading to the Arturus system to kick some ass. The forcibly appointed new chancellor has commissioned new enforcer drones into every ship in the fleet. They’re rough, tough, and take don't know when to retreat. Turns out…that was a bad idea. The drones end up losing the battle and the entire fleet is wiped out. Except one ship. They’re out cruising around the asteroid belt trying to find the fleet to help kick some Arturan ass. They scour the cosmos for a signal and end up hearing a broadcast from Earth. This broadcast is Orson Well’s War of the Worlds. So the Martians mistakenly fly to Earth thinking there’s a grand takeover of this worthless planet. Turns out it’s Halloween and the Martians are in for some wacky hijinks as they try to figure out our world and how to take it over. They try to be scary but everyone thinks they’re in costume…which leads to one Martian exclaiming, “come on, let’s shoot our way outta this! They’re too stupid to live!” and then they come upon a country road and think it’s a minefield so one struts up confident that it is not and is hit by a pickup truck. They even come equipped with a vast amount of weaponry including a World Destruction Kit, a Donut of Destruction, and a little robot dude that is as cute as a puppy.

Adorable.

This is but a flicker of the greatness that makes up Spaced Invaders. The characters are a ball, the actors that voice the Martians are just awesome. The kids (including the girl that plays the pogostick girl in Tremors and the tech geek in Jurassic Park) are not annoying at all. The black kid with a lisp…greatest dude ever. And it all comes down to the Martians needing to get back to space or their ship will explode…taking the Earth with it.

SPECIAL EFFECTS: This movie, along with the ninja turtle movies, solidified my affection for practical special effects. The Martian heads were all built, all animatronic, and done extremely well. The eyes move, the mouths move in more ways than I can figure out, their antennae move, it’s all so lifelike. OR…they hired real Martians, which is a fantasy I enjoy pretending happened. And not just the animatronics were good, the way they shot the ship flying around and all that…the models for this movie were extremely realistic. The way the ship took off and kept crashing because of an engine malfunction across an open field…it’s so realistic you’d swear it happened. I could barely spot a green/blue screen. Whoever did the special effects for this movie…you are what I live for.

FUNKY MUSIC: Oh yeah, this happens:

REDNECKS AND THE OLD MAN WITH A SHOTGUN: HAHAHAHA you just can’t pull a movie like this off without some rednecks and old men with shotguns. The rednecks are too stupid to figure out that they’re being invaded by Martians and when they do finally figure it out…their solution is to round up a posse of drunken rednecks with shotguns to blow them away. And the old man with a shotgun…I just love that guy. You would recognize him as the old man from Killer Klowns from Outer Space. He carries this movie. The Martians crash in his barn and he takes it upon himself to capture them…and then blow them up. He loves dynamite and cackles wildly. He is who I want to be.

Bad movies be damned.

I really want you to watch this movie. It’s one of those that I used to watch all the time and that I’ll continue to watch forever. I never grow tired of it. Even just watching it the other day reminded me the power this movie has over me. I still watched it with wide eyed wonder…this is a really cool flick. It’s fun, it’s cheesy, it’s everything you want in a movie.

This is the only trailer I could find. NONE of this dialogue is in the movie...and the voices are completely different. But...it gives you a taste of what to expect from Spaced Invaders.

For the finer points of this movie (and a hell of a lot of spoilers), please watch this video as well:

You can buy it on Amazon for about $8. I've also seen it on ebay for about that price or lower. Worth the money.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

This movie is absolute genius. Ok it's really not but it is very creative in its delivery. Everytime I think there couldn't possibly be any more...bam! Another kick ass Klown death. I can't believe it. We sat around watching this last night and I thought we were all going to die of laughter.

If you are a serious movie watcher I strongly urge you to not watch this film. This review is from a guy that loves his bad movies. I love the cheese, the killer klown humor, the terrible terrible acting - which just adds to the greatness of this film, and all the creative klown kills. Who would think to have shadow puppets eat people? hahahaha

The klowns themselves were pretty cool. There was pretty basic animatronics in the heads so that they could smile or flip their ears, but for the most part they were all mimes. That's ok with me, they still ran around kicking ass and throwin acid pies. Anyone who is deathly afraid of klowns will probably shit their pants at this movie. The klowns themselves can leave quite the imprint in a person's mind if they have a serious klown-phobia.

The effects...actually were pretty good. Vintage low budget 80's horror effects. Simple lighting and props. It was very humorous picking out all the things that were used in designing the props. The paper bowls painted black that were attached to the side of the klown kar, or the gasoline funnels used as levers. It was great. Lest not forget about the popcorn gun...Genius!!

If you feel like losing some IQ points and being happy about it, I suggest you watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space. The soundtrack alone is enough reason to see it. The main theme is still stuck in my mind. If you need any other reason to see it...a young Christopher Titus and John Vernon (the man that likes to put people on double secret probation in Animal House) co-star.