If dressing smokin hot insane babes in plain white slim panties and cut off shirts is wrong, I don't want to be right. Who knew thats the way they dressed mental patients in 1989? Probably not but it does add something nice to look at during the slower parts of this film.
The Dead Pit...finally a movie that I've watched that I wouldn't be entirely upset if hollywood got their grimey hands on it and remade the damn thing. The premise is promising and could be fun. It is my understanding that the entire process for this movie was rushed (i.e. the script was written in 3 weeks) so that could be some of the reasons it could have been better, but all in all I didn't hate it. I definately see how someone could take this movie and revamp it a bit to make it better.
So what the hell am I talking about? The beginning could have been so much worse. By worse I mean cooler. They definately needed to portray the killer as being even sicker than he was. His "experiments" on the brain were pretty cool but poorly executed on film. The insanity at the hospital was a bit over done for my tastes...too much screaming and cliche patients. Again, not all that bothersome. The actors they picked were not powerful enough, pretty lame when they needed to be better. Then there's some plot holes...but what would a classic 80's horror film be without them?
So what's good about it? The fucking skull crushing. I almost shit myself when that fucking zombie tore that fucking security guys skull open and feasting on his fucking brains! That was really fucking awesome! The melting zombies were actually pretty cool. The ending left me actually pretty satisfied. The entire "plan" to stop the evil and send it back to hell worked for me. I thought it was pretty plausable considering the situation and worked well for me. Kudos to you. AND finally...that smokin hot lead babe. She's great to look at during the film, has excellent assets (wet t-shirt that gets torn off scene...mmmm...) and her screams aren't irritating as hell.
So to say the least its worth a watch. Its not worth the $13 I paid for it and will never get back, but it was worth the watch anyway. I'm sure I'll get around to the special features included on the 2-disc set and it will suade me to appreciate it more. My advice would be to rent it and then never think about it again.
Your independent source for everything Bad. Bad Movie Reviews, News, Articles, and Events. The Badness Begins here...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
Yet another disappointing remake graces our coveted theatres. I was really hoping I would enjoy it, but in the end I was just disappointed. I think this is the first time I've strolled into a movie having already seen the original and then comparing it to the remake. I understand now how enraged some of you get when they trample on your beloved movies. The story started out great. It was right on par with the original but really spiffied up. The basic craft landing in central park was blown up to epic proportions and I rather liked that. It was great seeing it done that way. Then about a third of the way the film switched gears and took a different direction but at the same time adding in pieces of the original storyline. Thats where this film lost me. This film completely loses the entire purpose of the original.
The heart is gone and all that is left is a pretty looking skin that looks nice but is really not effective in any way. The effects in this movie are awesome. There is an over abundance of CGI usage in this film which I am usually against, but since it was a major motion picture I assumed that it would be there and I actually wasn't put off by any of it. It looked great! I guess in my mind so long as they stay away from creating humans with computer technology, it probably isn't so bad.
What most disappointed me about this film were the main character Klato and his trusty sidekick robot Gort. They presented Klato as some high strung a-hole forcing his views on the people. As much as I love how they gave him powers, I really hated the way he was portrayed. They completely lost the point of him coming to Earth and living amongst us for a short period. There was no happiness and understanding...he just magically understands at one point in the movie. As far as Gort...totally wrong. As cool as he is as a behemoth, they totally lost the point of his presence too. Sure it vaguely ties in, but there is no genius explanation for him like there was at the end of the original. The whole military thing about them naming him pissed me off too. I actually mumbled swearwords to myself. In the end it actually wasn't that awful. If you love the original you are gonna hate it, but at least theres Jennifer Connelly to look at most of the time and the special effects are top notch. Its pretty to look at, but all the soul of the original is lost on this one.
The heart is gone and all that is left is a pretty looking skin that looks nice but is really not effective in any way. The effects in this movie are awesome. There is an over abundance of CGI usage in this film which I am usually against, but since it was a major motion picture I assumed that it would be there and I actually wasn't put off by any of it. It looked great! I guess in my mind so long as they stay away from creating humans with computer technology, it probably isn't so bad.
What most disappointed me about this film were the main character Klato and his trusty sidekick robot Gort. They presented Klato as some high strung a-hole forcing his views on the people. As much as I love how they gave him powers, I really hated the way he was portrayed. They completely lost the point of him coming to Earth and living amongst us for a short period. There was no happiness and understanding...he just magically understands at one point in the movie. As far as Gort...totally wrong. As cool as he is as a behemoth, they totally lost the point of his presence too. Sure it vaguely ties in, but there is no genius explanation for him like there was at the end of the original. The whole military thing about them naming him pissed me off too. I actually mumbled swearwords to myself. In the end it actually wasn't that awful. If you love the original you are gonna hate it, but at least theres Jennifer Connelly to look at most of the time and the special effects are top notch. Its pretty to look at, but all the soul of the original is lost on this one.
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Curse (1987)
Alright a horror film that really makes you think. The Curse does something that a lot of horror movies don't, scare you with reality. Some films have monsters, others use brutal violence, but this one attacks you with something we use everyday...water.
Yes its true, The Curse is all about contaminating the drinking water. The movie basically goes like this...mysterious glowing orb crashes by farmhouse from space. Some ooey gooey stuff leaks into the ground and into the water supply. Everything and everybody on the farm drinks the water. Now they all go crazy and turn into nasty alien killing machines. Doesn't that just sound like such a great film? Well I thought it was.
The film stars young, early Star Trek TNG star, Wil Wheaton. I honestly thought he was terribly annoying on the TV show but here on the big screen he wasn't too bad. Along side of him is his sister Amy Wheaton who does an equally splendid job. Otherwise there's the hard ass father, the cheating mother, and the annoying brother. The rest of the characters are there to help the plot along. The central focus is on the family itself.
The story is wonderful in so many ways. The film itself is scary because it really makes you think about how hard it would be to get by if indeed your water supply was tainted. It also could be presented as a metaphor for adultery and sinning. Punishment for those that do wrong. As the story progresses the characters act foolishly and do terrible things I.E. cheating, beating on kids, and in the end they get theirs. The innocent ones survive.
Now the ooey gooey part of the story. The majority of the film is just the family but in the last third of the film things start to get a little gross. I love it. Since everything drinks the water all the animals go nuts and attack the humans for no reason. Also all the plants are gross. They look fine on the outside but when you open them up theres all this ooze shit or maggots inside them. Finally the humans start turning. They start out with huge pimples, then mutate into some witch type looking thing, and then finally melting into a gooey puddle. Oh joy.
So what I did hate about the movie was the ending. For me I thought the ending was really weak. I thought there would be more. It started out with the ending first but they never tied it back to that. It just ended. I fucking hate that! I thought there would be more exploration and explanation they were building up to but it just ended. Ok whatever, the film was still enjoyable.
So if you get a chance to watch it its worth it. Its fun and campy if you're into that kinda thing. Theres definite grossness but also something more intellectual about it for those of a higher mind. From my understanding there's a sequel (in name only) which is combined together on DVD. Keep an eye out, for the right price its definately worth having in your collection.
Yes its true, The Curse is all about contaminating the drinking water. The movie basically goes like this...mysterious glowing orb crashes by farmhouse from space. Some ooey gooey stuff leaks into the ground and into the water supply. Everything and everybody on the farm drinks the water. Now they all go crazy and turn into nasty alien killing machines. Doesn't that just sound like such a great film? Well I thought it was.
The film stars young, early Star Trek TNG star, Wil Wheaton. I honestly thought he was terribly annoying on the TV show but here on the big screen he wasn't too bad. Along side of him is his sister Amy Wheaton who does an equally splendid job. Otherwise there's the hard ass father, the cheating mother, and the annoying brother. The rest of the characters are there to help the plot along. The central focus is on the family itself.
The story is wonderful in so many ways. The film itself is scary because it really makes you think about how hard it would be to get by if indeed your water supply was tainted. It also could be presented as a metaphor for adultery and sinning. Punishment for those that do wrong. As the story progresses the characters act foolishly and do terrible things I.E. cheating, beating on kids, and in the end they get theirs. The innocent ones survive.
Now the ooey gooey part of the story. The majority of the film is just the family but in the last third of the film things start to get a little gross. I love it. Since everything drinks the water all the animals go nuts and attack the humans for no reason. Also all the plants are gross. They look fine on the outside but when you open them up theres all this ooze shit or maggots inside them. Finally the humans start turning. They start out with huge pimples, then mutate into some witch type looking thing, and then finally melting into a gooey puddle. Oh joy.
So what I did hate about the movie was the ending. For me I thought the ending was really weak. I thought there would be more. It started out with the ending first but they never tied it back to that. It just ended. I fucking hate that! I thought there would be more exploration and explanation they were building up to but it just ended. Ok whatever, the film was still enjoyable.
So if you get a chance to watch it its worth it. Its fun and campy if you're into that kinda thing. Theres definite grossness but also something more intellectual about it for those of a higher mind. From my understanding there's a sequel (in name only) which is combined together on DVD. Keep an eye out, for the right price its definately worth having in your collection.
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Breed (2006)
What a pleasant surprise this film is. We had a little get together the other night and we watched a ton of dog related horror movies. We rented this film and gave it a shot. None of us had really heard anything about it or really knew much about it. We only really rented it because we saw dogs on the cover and that was the theme for the night.
I have to say after watching it we were all really surprised at how decent it actually was. Yet again we have another "science meets nature" mutation horror film. These dogs look normal, but they are just bad to the bone. The story wasn't too bad. We got a little scared (not really) that it was going to be another teeny bopper horror film...the parties, the stupid drama, etc etc. Even though that stuff was there, it really wasn't that bothersome.
The thing that did it for me for this movie was the dogs. I was pretty shocked at how well they shot so many dogs and got it to work. Many times they'd come out of nowhere and scare the shit out of you. Other times they looked just mean as hell...and what else is scarier then coming across an unknown dog and having it growl at you?
The mystery behind why these dogs are the way they are kept me intrigued throughout the film. Subtle hints and clues are scattered about the film but its enough to keep you wanting to know just what the hell is going on. The effect the dog bites have on the humans again adds to the mystery. I loved it.
If you're having a lazy saturday and you're really in the mood for anything, I'd rent this film. I did buy it after seeing it and I enjoyed it just as much the second time as the first time. It does star Michelle Rodriguez from the first Resident Evil, so that helps with the cast as well. Fun movie, I recommend it for the nature gone awry horror film junkie.
I have to say after watching it we were all really surprised at how decent it actually was. Yet again we have another "science meets nature" mutation horror film. These dogs look normal, but they are just bad to the bone. The story wasn't too bad. We got a little scared (not really) that it was going to be another teeny bopper horror film...the parties, the stupid drama, etc etc. Even though that stuff was there, it really wasn't that bothersome.
The thing that did it for me for this movie was the dogs. I was pretty shocked at how well they shot so many dogs and got it to work. Many times they'd come out of nowhere and scare the shit out of you. Other times they looked just mean as hell...and what else is scarier then coming across an unknown dog and having it growl at you?
The mystery behind why these dogs are the way they are kept me intrigued throughout the film. Subtle hints and clues are scattered about the film but its enough to keep you wanting to know just what the hell is going on. The effect the dog bites have on the humans again adds to the mystery. I loved it.
If you're having a lazy saturday and you're really in the mood for anything, I'd rent this film. I did buy it after seeing it and I enjoyed it just as much the second time as the first time. It does star Michelle Rodriguez from the first Resident Evil, so that helps with the cast as well. Fun movie, I recommend it for the nature gone awry horror film junkie.
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Blob (1958)
It leaps! It creeps! It glides! and slides...across the floor! It's the Blob! Yes that catchy little tune is still stuck in my head. I guess that's one way to remember a movie isn't it? Another would be to actually like the movie...and in this case I did.
The Blob stars ultra cool man Steve McQueen in his first big screen roll. I guess being as young as I am it really doesn't matter to me who would take the lead roll in a 50's monster movie but knowing that Mr. McQueen was the lead made me want to watch it all that much more.
The 50's will always be to me the decade of the big epic monster movies. Films like It Came From The Sea or Earth vs. The Flying Saucers all captivated audiences during this time. Along came The Blob in the later part of the decade. So how does it stand up against the rest? Pretty damn good in my opinion. The film shows The Blob often but its more of a build up film than it is a giant creature attack. The kids that see it try for the life of them to convince the police and everyone in town that there's a giant killer THING on the loose murdering people.
The acting and dialogue are pretty typical for the period. It seems a little bland and to the point. There isn't a lot of heart or personal influence to it but that doesn't bother me. The acting is well done by everyone in the film. I've noticed that older movies like this one seem to have pretty good actors. I don't watch that many older films but when I do I rarely see anyone that is just a god awful actor.
So...what about The Blob? I will tell you this...some of todays effects, with all of our advancements, all of our technology, none of it can match up with the effectiveness and movements of the 1958 Blob. It rolls and oozes across the floor. I spews out slowly between air ducts. I melts over your arm. It even expands and engulfs a small diner. I tell you that even the shittiest of film companies these days need to look back and use these techniques to make movies. They have to be cheaper to do today then they were back then. In any case The Blob is cool and The Blob does what it sets out to do...eat everyone and everything.
I guess the only thing I have wrong with it is they don't have much backstory with The Blob. The remake told of a space experiment gone wrong. The Blob just lands here on Earth and comes from a meteor. Oh well, I guess a stupid backstory would probably ruin it. Besides...it has Steve McQueen doing backwards drag racing. Hells yeah!
The Blob stars ultra cool man Steve McQueen in his first big screen roll. I guess being as young as I am it really doesn't matter to me who would take the lead roll in a 50's monster movie but knowing that Mr. McQueen was the lead made me want to watch it all that much more.
The 50's will always be to me the decade of the big epic monster movies. Films like It Came From The Sea or Earth vs. The Flying Saucers all captivated audiences during this time. Along came The Blob in the later part of the decade. So how does it stand up against the rest? Pretty damn good in my opinion. The film shows The Blob often but its more of a build up film than it is a giant creature attack. The kids that see it try for the life of them to convince the police and everyone in town that there's a giant killer THING on the loose murdering people.
The acting and dialogue are pretty typical for the period. It seems a little bland and to the point. There isn't a lot of heart or personal influence to it but that doesn't bother me. The acting is well done by everyone in the film. I've noticed that older movies like this one seem to have pretty good actors. I don't watch that many older films but when I do I rarely see anyone that is just a god awful actor.
So...what about The Blob? I will tell you this...some of todays effects, with all of our advancements, all of our technology, none of it can match up with the effectiveness and movements of the 1958 Blob. It rolls and oozes across the floor. I spews out slowly between air ducts. I melts over your arm. It even expands and engulfs a small diner. I tell you that even the shittiest of film companies these days need to look back and use these techniques to make movies. They have to be cheaper to do today then they were back then. In any case The Blob is cool and The Blob does what it sets out to do...eat everyone and everything.
I guess the only thing I have wrong with it is they don't have much backstory with The Blob. The remake told of a space experiment gone wrong. The Blob just lands here on Earth and comes from a meteor. Oh well, I guess a stupid backstory would probably ruin it. Besides...it has Steve McQueen doing backwards drag racing. Hells yeah!
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: The Beast Must Die (1974)
Do you like murder? Do you like mystery? Do you like werewolves? The Beast Must Die is perfect for you. The film starts off immediately stating that it is a detective story...and you are the detective. Not only is it a fun little who-dun-it story in the vein of clue (which came out later but still) but they encourage the audience to participate. They point this out right at the beginning and towards the end they give you a chance to discuss it. It's a perfect party movie. There's nothing better than being together amongst friends arguing about who's the werewolf and why.
The film itself is pretty interesting. The mystery part kept me intrigued throughout. The guests at the party worked perfectly together shifting blame in one direction then another. The Doctor (played by Peter Cushing) does a grand job at not only laying down the facts of what a werewolf is, but in being a suspect as well.
The story is fun and meant to be so. You can tell it was done on a pretty tight budget and being it was made in the 70s it is filled with all that 70s glory. The clothing, slang, and gadgets are all there. You can hardly blame them for that...being it is from the 70s.
The gore was pretty minimal but there was some blood there. The effects were done rather well and in a classy style. No fancy animatronics or puppetry...just good directing and make up. I like movies like this that can make something out of pretty much nothing.
All-in-all....find this DVD and watch it. Do it in a group, it's more fun that way. You won't be disappointed. I don't say this often, and I cringe to say it, but....I really wouldn't mind seeing a remake of this. There are so many people that don't know about this movie and a stylish update would be pretty cool.
The film itself is pretty interesting. The mystery part kept me intrigued throughout. The guests at the party worked perfectly together shifting blame in one direction then another. The Doctor (played by Peter Cushing) does a grand job at not only laying down the facts of what a werewolf is, but in being a suspect as well.
The story is fun and meant to be so. You can tell it was done on a pretty tight budget and being it was made in the 70s it is filled with all that 70s glory. The clothing, slang, and gadgets are all there. You can hardly blame them for that...being it is from the 70s.
The gore was pretty minimal but there was some blood there. The effects were done rather well and in a classy style. No fancy animatronics or puppetry...just good directing and make up. I like movies like this that can make something out of pretty much nothing.
All-in-all....find this DVD and watch it. Do it in a group, it's more fun that way. You won't be disappointed. I don't say this often, and I cringe to say it, but....I really wouldn't mind seeing a remake of this. There are so many people that don't know about this movie and a stylish update would be pretty cool.
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Strange Invaders (1983)
To be horror or not be horror? That is the question. This is my answer...yes! Strange Invaders is a film that teeters on a fine line between science fiction and horror. The mass majority of this film is more towards the scifi aspect but here's how i justify posting it horror. Actors...Paul Le Mat (of Puppet Master), Gore...some juicy alien gore in my opinion, and the film itself is a tribute (in some eyes a spoof) of classic 50's horror monster films.
Strange Invaders is a fun little alien invasion story. Aliens come down to Earth in the 50's. They take over an entire town. Fast forward 25 years and they still live there in all their 50's glory. But now they're pissed because somebody knows they are there and they must be silenced.
The aliens themselves were kind of creepy looking. I've always got shivers looking at aliens that have massive black eyes. I don't know why it just freaks me out. There's a few parts when they rip off their human outer skin to show their true selves and that's actually pretty awesome. And of course, as a wonderful tribute to 50's horror, they shoot lasers from their heads and fly in flying saucers.
The story was pretty intriguing. Starts off as a mystery with a missing ex-wife. The story gradually unfolds and then the aliens start appearing. I knew going into it that it was going to be a dumb movie but it far exceeded my expectations. The effects were good. The musical score was very reminiscent of 50's horror. This film sets out to accomplish a goal, (much like Hatchet did a while ago), and present a film that is new but brings back the glory of older films. I personally love when people do this. It's great for nostalgia and the effects are better. I say go see it, its worth your time and is pretty crazy.
Strange Invaders is a fun little alien invasion story. Aliens come down to Earth in the 50's. They take over an entire town. Fast forward 25 years and they still live there in all their 50's glory. But now they're pissed because somebody knows they are there and they must be silenced.
The aliens themselves were kind of creepy looking. I've always got shivers looking at aliens that have massive black eyes. I don't know why it just freaks me out. There's a few parts when they rip off their human outer skin to show their true selves and that's actually pretty awesome. And of course, as a wonderful tribute to 50's horror, they shoot lasers from their heads and fly in flying saucers.
The story was pretty intriguing. Starts off as a mystery with a missing ex-wife. The story gradually unfolds and then the aliens start appearing. I knew going into it that it was going to be a dumb movie but it far exceeded my expectations. The effects were good. The musical score was very reminiscent of 50's horror. This film sets out to accomplish a goal, (much like Hatchet did a while ago), and present a film that is new but brings back the glory of older films. I personally love when people do this. It's great for nostalgia and the effects are better. I say go see it, its worth your time and is pretty crazy.
BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Starship Troopers (1997)
What could possibly be better than melting arms, severed heads, torn bodies, and senseless destruction…all caused by an alien race of massive bugs? Starship Troopers throws down all of these wonderful things along with so much more.
I’ve always liked this movie. I’ve seen it a dozen times, if not more. I was younger when I first saw it and it catapulted my infantile interest in science fiction to a whole new level. I like everything about the movie, its one of those that you can just watch over and over and really never tire of.
The actors in this movie are wonderful. Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer (the Saw films), Denise Richards, Jake Busey, and even Neil Patrick Harris. They all comprise a massive storyline beginning with most of them being friends in school, then expanding out over a VAST amount of space to their new positions within the federation. Eventually they all come back together in the end for the finale. There is also a wonderful part filled by none other than Michael Ironside. That guy plays the Lieutenant down perfectly and he is so full of inspirational sayings. Everything he says has such great meaning to it.
Now I have to talk about the special effects. GREAT special effects. There is a decent amount of CGI but it is done very well so it’s pretty hard to tell that it’s fake. Plus how the creatures are designed and how they move, it would be pretty hard to do it any other way. It has a perfect blend of CGI and make up effects. There are plenty of scenes that will gross you out.
There’s not much else to say. It has a great mix of everything from relationships, to humor, to scares, to gore. It’s an all around wonderful movie to sit down and enjoy. I highly recommend you check it out.
I’ve always liked this movie. I’ve seen it a dozen times, if not more. I was younger when I first saw it and it catapulted my infantile interest in science fiction to a whole new level. I like everything about the movie, its one of those that you can just watch over and over and really never tire of.
The actors in this movie are wonderful. Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer (the Saw films), Denise Richards, Jake Busey, and even Neil Patrick Harris. They all comprise a massive storyline beginning with most of them being friends in school, then expanding out over a VAST amount of space to their new positions within the federation. Eventually they all come back together in the end for the finale. There is also a wonderful part filled by none other than Michael Ironside. That guy plays the Lieutenant down perfectly and he is so full of inspirational sayings. Everything he says has such great meaning to it.
Now I have to talk about the special effects. GREAT special effects. There is a decent amount of CGI but it is done very well so it’s pretty hard to tell that it’s fake. Plus how the creatures are designed and how they move, it would be pretty hard to do it any other way. It has a perfect blend of CGI and make up effects. There are plenty of scenes that will gross you out.
There’s not much else to say. It has a great mix of everything from relationships, to humor, to scares, to gore. It’s an all around wonderful movie to sit down and enjoy. I highly recommend you check it out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)