Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Bad Movie Battle Royale: Your first 4 contestants!

Welcome. Over the past few weeks I've been reviewing some films. Some of them were geared towards the DOOM'D Reviews I promised for this year and others were just plain old amazing Bad Movie Reviews. But out of the reviews that I've done so far, 4 of them stand out as contenders for supreme champion of the Bad Movie Battle Royale. They've earned a spot in my heart and a spot on the board. So, without further delay, here are your first 4 contestants in the Bad Movie Battle Royale 2012!


Robert. The Killer Tire from the movie Rubber. He's one mean mother as he has telepathic abilities (that will sorely have to be contained for this tournament) and the ability to runover whomever he wishes. His attributes are geared more towards his head and his body on the offensive and his head and body on the defensive. Why his head and body? Because that's really all this tire has to offer.

Finishing move: The Drive By


Tank Girl. From the movie...Tank Girl. She's a vicious little brute. She knows how to use her body to her advantage but don't let those good looks and quick wit fool you, she has a tank and she's ready to stuff it in your face and yell FIRE! Her attributes are geared more towards the offensive side. Head, Body, Arms, Legs. She uses these things to get the job done. Her defense lies mostly in her head and body as either one of those can get her out of a jam.

Finishing move: The Bombshell


Poolboy. From the movie Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury. Poolboy is an interesting character. He's a Vietnam Vet...so he's not all there mentally. BUT he has a surprisingly large amount of skills and knowledge in the ways to kill people that clearly give him an advantage. His offense and defense lie within his Head, Body, and Arms as those 3 things get him INTO and OUT OF every jam he finds himself in.

Finishing movie: The Cleaner


Gamera. From the movie Gammera The Invincible. Gamera is a 200 foot tall flying fire breathing turtle. It's going to be a brutahl fight for every other contestant to even bring this colossal giant to his knees. His strategy appears to be lose first, let his opponent build up confidence and a false sense of security...and then STRIKE! Ending the match quickly and awesomely. His attributes center around his body and arms. His main offense comes from his mind and the way he comes up with a solution to bring down an enemy and his main defense is with his body of course. When all else fails, he crawls up into his shell and flies away. Look out when Gamera climbs the ropes, he might just be looking to end this thing.

Finishing movie: The Shell Shock

There you have it! The first 4 contenders in The Bad Movie Battle Royale 2012: It's Bigger, Better, and Badder! I've been looking over the possibilities for fan favorites from Twitter/Facebook/and right here on Blogger and I'll be posting a poll later this week to see who we want in the most. I like a couple so much that I might just throw them in anyway...because they deserve it. Until then, From the domed roof of Gablestadium, I'm Mr. Gable and this is...THE BAD MOVIE BATTLE ROYALE! We'll see you soon for the next round of combatants...


  1. Here's your mission briefing, should you choose to accept it...

  2. Gamera looks great! Didn't know black and green could look so brutishly sexy! Oh boy, this is gonna be great : D

  3. You'll notice the leg brace, a leftover injury from his encounter with Gyaos. Hopefully that won't play into the Royale.

    Anonymous. Thank you for the link, I'll watch it asap!