Mr. Gable's News and Updates!

Mr. Gable's Reality is spreading like a virus. It is possible that it could take over the world in approximately 67 years (if I stick to it long enough). YOU JUST CAN'T STOP IT!

But Bruce Campbell can...

That being said, big changes are happening here at MGR, all of them bigger and better than the last. First off...I've stooped to the lowest common denominator. It is with great displeasure and for your convenience that I announce that Mr. Gable...

...is on Facebook and Twitter.

I feel dirty. Like some kind of bad movie WHORE.

Click one of the above buttons to be directed to Mr. Gable's Reality elsewhere on the interwebs and by all means follow me. And tell your friends to follow me. It's gonna be better than the impending zombie apocalypse. And if you follow me...I'll tell you everything you need to know to survive.

(Stupid cattle, they'll follow me and while they're being eaten it'll give me a chance to get away MuWahaha)

Ooops...did I just say that. I didn't mean it, I swear. (suckers)

MOVING ON!

I am currently registered as an official writer (NOT Sex Offender) for ANOTHER blog. A very very sweet blog.

8-Bit Reviews. The greatest damn video game (and video game related) reviews from then and now you'll find anywhere else. It just got started so give it some time...it's picking up speed (and writers) very quickly.

It'll be great for me to step back and put my thoughts into something else every once in a while. Of course they'll probably be "bad" related...like my first post over there. I undertook the task to checking out Jaws on the NES. What a horrible horrible game. Please download it and play it. DRUNK. It's awesome.

AND FINALLY, THE TOPPING ON THE CAKE...

Introducing...for your bad movie review pleasure...

The Bad-o-meter 1.0. Bask in its pixelated glory.

I've always wanted to do a rating system with the reviews that I write and I also wanted something original and unique to me....so I invented the Bad-o-meter. A shitty little tool that will gauge the awesome badolity of movies.

Notice the Mr. GR stamped into each gauge. That's in case you try and fucking steal it I can....do nothing. But I'll tell everyone you stole it and they'll all glower at you angrily.

BUT LOOK OUT! Don't let the Bad-o-meter deceive you. This particular gauge runs on a rating of 0-5. NOT that pussy 1-5. I watch bad movies...and I review bad movies...therefore logic demands there be a ZERO. Because we all know that Batman and Robin doesn't deserve anything above a zero. So if I watch a movie so painful I'd rather rip out my eyes and never view anything upon this Earth again...you'll see the dreaded Red Gauge...OF DOOM!

Reading reviews with the Red Gauge of Doom is nearly as cancerous as the movie itself.

So there you have it folks. I have a great feeling about this year. It's already chock full of great bad movie news, great things are happening...

...and I've already received a couple screener copies of movies. 2011 is fucking AWESOME.

COMIC: Zombocalypse 2020

So I was pressed for time this morning and I was unable to finish part 4 of Tuesdays Suck. So to pass the time in the Reality, here is a stupid little comic I came up with a few weeks ago. It's just...awful. And lovely. Enjoy!

Written and (very shittily) Illustrated by Mr. Gable.

(Click image to see a larger picture if you can't read it.)

That's fuckin awesome.

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Charles Band #7

THE TOP TEN

It's October and with it comes a huge list of epic greatness. In case you haven't read the intro to this thing, I'll be counting down 31 of the greatest Charles Band movies. Keep your internet dials tuned to Mr. Gable's Reality DAILY for new and exciting Charles Band goodness. I began this countdown with TEN Charles Band movies that I have yet to see, then I explored ELEVEN films that personally learned the art of Kick Ass! from Charles Band, and now I present to you, the loyal Reality fans, THE TOP TEN CHARLES BAND MOVIES OF ALL TIME! Let's do this thing...

The Trailer:

Wow. The trailer gives away EVERYTHING. Hilarious. It's kinda obvious in the movie anyway so it doesn't matter.

I had to think long and hard (heh heh dick joke) about whether or not to include this one on the list or not. I wasn't entirely sure if this was a "true" Charles Band movie or not...he is uncredited as the executive producer...but the more I thought about it, the more I was like, "It was put out by a Charles Band company, it is currently for sale on Charles Band's website, and it stars Sam & Ted Raimi, a cameo by Bruce Campbell...and fuck it, more people need to know that this movie exists."

Intruder is your basic 80's slasher movie...just a lot more awesome. There's several POV shots until they reveal the killer...or you watch the trailer. And yes, Sam Raimi...director of the Spider-Man & Evil Dead movies...his brother Ted Raimi...who shows up in everything Sam does...a short cameo by Bruce Campbell at the end...which is fucking awesome...all have roles in this movie! And if I remember right...THEY ALL DIE! Except for maybe Bruce, I don't think anyone can kill him. It's defies the laws of physics.

So if your in a mood for a good old fashioned 80's slasher movie...and want to nerdgasm consistently while watching it...then you want to see Intruder. Or wait until Halloween when Full Moon Direct has their big "ALL DVDs ARE $6.66!" sale to buy it. I'll blog more about that later.

And so...for having Bruce Campbell in it, and the Raimi's, I give Intruder the #7 spot on the 31 greatest Charles Band movies of all time!

If you liked this movie then check out: Teenage Space Vampires

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987)

This movie is ridiculously awesome. I got the opportunity to see it at a midnight matinee a short while ago and I could not have been happier with the results. I'd seen the movie several times already but there's something about seeing it all on the big screen with a crowd of hardcore fans that really makes it all that more enjoyable.

There is only thing you need to know about this movie...Bruce Campbell. I'm sure the hairs on the back of your neck are tingling because that's what Campbell does. Anyway his performance is awesome as always. I think Ash's character gets massive definition in this movie. I enjoyed him in Evil Dead and Army of Darkness but it is here where I think he shines the most. His going insane, his kicking royal deadite ass, his continuous battle with being possessed, and that always enjoyable...groovy.

I swear I've never heard a crowd erupt more loudly in my entire life then the moment he said groovy. That is the power of Ash and that is the power of Bruce Campbell. It's just a word but when spoken by that man it just lights a fire inside like no other. There were numerous times throughout the film that the crowd went nuts but none like at that moment. You could actually FEEL everyone waiting in anticipation for him to say it. We all knew it was coming but still we waited and wanted to hear it.

Mr. Sam Raimi should not be without mention. His genious and brilliance behind a camera makes this whole thing work. His love of the Evil Dead (being the creator) and his just splendid camera shots make this movie so much more exciting. The camera moves around in such bizarre fashions that you'd never think it possible but there are some very cool shots that tend to show up repeatedly throughout his movies. He definately is a trademark director.  You probably know him from the Spiderman Trilogy.

The effects are pretty laughable. It's what gives the movie its charm. Don't get me wrong, they all look good and work perfectly, but the scene with the beheaded girlfriend wielding a chainsaw...hilarious. The scene with the torn up bridge...hilarious. Other than that, the make up effects are excellent. I would not have this movie any other way.

If you are unfamiliar with the Evil Dead films (including Army of Darkness) you really should be shot...or at least mamed with a chainsaw. What is wrong with you! These movies are brilliant. You probably should just go watch it anyway. Actually just buy them all, they're worth it. At the very least give it a shot and rent it from the store. They are truly a great set of films and I hope someday to see a 4th.