Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Naked Vampires (and Kevin Sorbo) in Tales of an Ancient Empire

The following is a red band trailer. So that means amazing vampire nudity. (insert happy face)

The sword and sorcery epic, written by Cynthia Curnan, tells the story of a princess forced on a quest to recruit the greatest warriors of the ancient world to save her kingdom from a demonic sorceress. But the odyssey to find them reveals a secret past for all.
Tales of an Ancient Empire is directed by Albert Pyun. This man is responsible for tons of amazing bad movies: Cyborg, Dollman, Nemesis 1-4, 1990's Captain America (which is coming to bluray baby!).

That trailer needs to be recut and shortened. I am interested. And I'll be honest here...anything with Kevin Sorbo in it pretty much has me interested. I loved that man as Hercules and I'll always be a fan. He may not be the greatest and his movies might not always be the greatest but I will always want to watch them. But the trailer has a severe lack of Sorbo...and other recognizable cast members. Christopher Lambert and Val Kilmer. (UPDATE: I guess on the IMDb page, Lambert isn't even listed. That poster up there is an older poster since it says "Now filming" so he must have dropped out) Even if their parts are small, putting them in the trailer would make it all that more enticing in my opinion. But who am I? Nobody. I am nobody.

But regardless, I'll be seeing this. Looks pretty awesome. Swords, Nudity, and Kevin Sorbo. I'm so there.

Check out the official website for all kinds of amazing goodies. This looks like its available for purchase but all I could find on Amazon was a Region 2 version. And it's not on Netflix. Come on Pyun! Let's get this thing moving! I NEED SORBO!


  1. I'm looking forward to this too. It probably won't be available on Amazon or Netflix, because his previous recent film, Bulletface, wasn't either. Also, agree on the Sorbo, and I've yet to see him do anything in the DTV and TV movie market that has matched the greatness that was Hercules.

  2. I'm a big Herc fan myself. I mean DAMN, what's not to love? Ya gots yer Kevin Sorbos, Sam AND Ted Raimis, yer Bruce Campbells, Rob Taperts, Anthony Quinn, spunky, chunky, nimble Michael Hurst and that guy who played the the fake Russian on those Long John Silvers commercials ("Where's the only place you get best tasting chicken? At a FISH PLACE!! I love this country!").

  3. You ever heard of Bitch Slap? It's a movie about a bunch of chicks (with no nudity booo) but it's basically a reunion movie for the top 4 characters in Hercules and Xena. They all make cameo apperances. It's awesome.

    Xena is a Nun. HAHAHAHAHA