Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Night Claws (THE 80'S IS BACK BABY!)

HOLY CRAP! Everyone. Grab a drink and a cigarette. Cuz once you're done reading this article you're going to need both.

Night Claws. I can barely breathe right now I'm so fucking excited. I don't know if I can take it. This is the greatest news I've heard in a very very VERY long time. Let me tell you why.

A small town is being terrorized by a killer Bigfoot. One that is blood thirsty, vicious and kills without warning and without discrimination. A scientist by the name of Sarah Evans shows up to help the town's sheriff and his deputy girlfriend Roberta hunt this thing down and put an end to the killings. At the same time, Hunter Crawford is a thug-like character who along with his two henchmen, is hunting the creature himself, for his own personal gain and he does not care who he has to go through to accomplish this. Enter Charlie Parker a tough east coast type who is on a survivalist camping trip, led by the seasoned survivalist Sharon Farmer at the behest of his young trophy wife and whom, by no fault of his own, winds up being used as bait for the creature, by Hunter. But there is more at work here than meets the eye...
Alright, that's pretty awesome. Another Sasquatch movie. (fuck yeah) But that's not what's exciting...

Next...this movie stars Frank Stallone. Sylvester Stallone's brother.

But that's not what's really exciting.

This movie is directed by David A. Prior. Famous AMAZING BAD MOVIE director of: Deadly Prey, Future Force, and Night Wars. (Among many others)

That's a little exciting. (Actually really exciting) But not what's making me freak out right now.

I slipped by an interview where David Prior describes this movie as having no CGI. All puppets and make up! Thank you David, bringing the true art of filmmaking into the new age.

That's awesome, but not what's the greatest GOD DAMN NEWS YOU WILL HEAR THIS YEAR!

Here's what I'm talking about. Night Claws. Has the GREATEST HERO IN ALL OF CINEMA. The man that hunted through the future. Mutinied in Space. Hunted the Streets. Commandoed the Strike...Commandoes.

Reb. Brown. (you'll click that link if you know what's good for you.)


This is just so amazing! He hasn't been in a movie since the mid-90's! 2011 is the GREATEST YEAR EVER! I still can't believe this. He had better get his hands on some kind of automatic weapon and go ape shit on somebody. Nobody and I mean NOBODY can't outdo Reb Brown's War Face.

This movie is currently filming. As soon as a trailer appears I'll be jerking off to it posting it here.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I feel (a little) better now.


  1. What a scream! Its like him and Sam Kinison were separated at birth. Reb Brown would be the best death metal singer ever. If I'm ever in a death metal band, it will be named The Reb Brown Explosion Experience.

  2. HAHAHAHA THAT'S AWESOME! Do it. I'd be fan #1.

  3. Reb Brown plays the Sasquatch, right? Imagine that scream coming out of a Sasquatch. You can't. You'd shit your pants if you did : )