Roid Rage: The Movie ($#*&@%!!!!!)

Mr. Gable here with your daily smile. This movie is something I just "noted" awhile ago. There was absolutely nothing worth posting about today so I googled a couple things but came up short. That was until I found Roid Rage. This trailer is pretty "meh" until about the 45 second mark. Then I guarantee your jaws will hit the floor.

Roid Rage baby.

This guy's voiceover is AMAZING.

I don't care if that rips off Alien. That was awesome. Besides, I don't think that ever happened in any of the Alien movies so fuck them. They can make 6 Alien movies and not one of them has an eye ripping scene? What the hell.

Oh wait a minute. Read this synopsis:

Sammy Jenkins was a simple man who lived a simple life, until a genetic mutation sent his world spiraling out of control. Now, being hunted by the men responsible for his deformity, as well as the FBI, Sammy must fight back with his unique abilities in order to survive. Those unique abilities include the giant killer hemorrhoid growing out of his ass.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THAT'S A HEMORRHOID MONSTER! HAHAHAHAHAHA I THOUGHT IT EXPLODED OUT OF HIS CHEST! HAHAHAHA I THOUGHT ROID RAGE WAS "STEROID" NOT "HEMORRHOID" HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO AWESOME!

Also, this ONE MINUTE trailer displays every great aspect of a "AWESOMELY BAD" bad movie. One liners, dead hookers, live hookers, lots of guns, ass eating, monsters eating eyeballs unexpectedly, science gone mad, a kick ass title and tagline, and GORE GORE GORE! You just know that this movie has so much more going for it then what they're showing here. I can't fucking wait to see more exploding bodies and ass monsters eating people's faces.

This is what I live for man. Roid Rage...WHERE ARE YOU!?

At the Hudson Horror Show in Poughkeepsie, NY on May 14th, that's where. Looks like a pretty good night to me. Wish I lived anywhere near there. Hopefully this movie can swing out my way to Minnesota so I can see it. We love our bad movies here, Roid Rage. Just sayin...I can guarantee at least 20 people. PLEEEAASSEE!!!

Anyway, enough ass kissing. Check out the official website for more information. And also go to their facebook page and beg them to come to your town. Or get this shit on DVD so I can watch it. I fucking need this man.

UPDATE: Just checked out the IMDb page...this is a short film. Only 14 minutes long. And probably the best 14 minutes of your life. I sincerely hope that this turns into a Hobo with a Shotgun type of scenario and becomes a full blown ass exploding movie.