BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve seen a lot of movies. Some of them are ground breaking, a lot of them are soul crushing. Some are the greatest movies ever, others are used to inspire suicide. But then there’s some that change your life forever. They inspire you. They move you. They show you things that you never thought possible. They pull at your emotions. Movies like Scarface, Rocky IV, Terminator 2, and…

 Never before have I seen such a treasure.

Let me lay down the general premise of Tammy and the T-Rex:

“An evil scientist implants the brain of Michael, a murdered high school student, in an animatronic Tyrannosaurus. He escapes, wreaks vengeance on his high school tormentors and is reunited with his sweetheart Tammy. Together, the couple try to elude the mad scientist and the police and find a more appropriate vessel for Michael's brain.”

YES! This is the greatest thing to happen to me on YouTube since I was drunk at 3am that time and decided to watch Robowar.

This movie lives up to everything in that premise and so much more. This movie is made so poorly that you’d swear they were doing it on purpose.

When you see it you'll shit bricks.

You just can’t understand the immense amount of JOY I received from this movie. Not only does it incorporate fucking DINOSAURS into its ridiculous plot but it even has 2 rising stars in its midst. Denise Richards plays Tammy the hot little cheerleader who’s frustrated in love. And Paul Walker plays her wannabe boyfriend who charges through adversity (and being a T-Rex) to get her.

 It’s SHOCKING they made a career after this.

Let’s talk about what makes this movie great. Hand over Fist best worst movie kind of great. As I’ve stated a million times already: Stupid awesome plot. Second: KNOWN actors (unknown at the time) that have no place being in this thing. It’s just a wonder to watch them and know how their lives turn out. (One’s cracked out of her mind and the other can’t get out of fast car movies) Third: The bad-o-meter is spiking on this one. This movie is a where’s waldo of boom mic’s. I know of 3 off the top of my head but you constantly see shadows and blatant mic’s dropping down during a scene. It’s just the best. Fourth: It just doesn’t give a fuck. T-Rex has short arms right? So tell me how it can reach past it’s face, dial a telephone, and put the receiver up to its ear? HOW? Could it just be a stagehand with a glove on? Noooo….that couldn’t be it. His arms are 6 feet long, that's it! He must be the stretch Armstrong of Tyrannosaurus’!

And the thing is, this movie is really light hearted and has that bad Jim Wynorski kids movie kind of a feel to it. The dialogue and the directing is just delivered in that same way but the T-Rex is really scary. Looking at the thing...it's got huge teeth, a deep roar, and it actually rips people to shreds. His foot slices a dudes chest open, he's biting people's heads and legs, it's all quite terrifying..... and that's what makes it awesome. It doesn't know WHAT it wants to be!

This movie is not good by any means. But if you love eye rolling awesomeness…you’ll love this movie. And it even stars Buck Flower, the guy who almost always plays a bum, AS A COP! HAHAHAHAHA

 What the fuck am I doing?

You can’t go wrong with Tammy and the T-Rex. It’s so dumb it’s awesome. You’ll get drunk and watch this right now, if you know what’s good for ya.