TRANCERS WEEK! Day 6: Live Evil

Trancers Week comes to a close. But like every porno movie ever made: I end it with the money shot. Let us begin with the trailer:

Pull your pants down and sit on a toilet. You may just shit yourself with excitement after reading this:

Live Evil is (courtesy of IMDb.com): A hunter dressed in black. This cowboy-hat-wearing samurai-sword-wielding Priest is on a quest for blood. Vampire blood. He's out for revenge on a "clique" of four vampires who are traveling across country in search of "pure blood." The human blood stream has become polluted by drugs, alcohol, Aids, Diabetes, anti-depressants, cigarettes, anything that changes the blood even a small amount makes it undrinkable for Vampires, who, like hi-performance automobiles need "hi test" fuel= Blood in order to survive. This has started a sort of underground civil war between various groups of vampires and vampires themselves have mutated due to the pollution of their life blood. Live Evil is what is written on playing cards left behind on the bodies of dead vampires that this mysterious Priest/Hunter leaves in his wake as he gets closer and closer to our main group of vampires...

So basically, Jack Deth disguised as a priest murdering vampires with a sword and guns. Oh how life can be so AWESOME!

How does this movie fit in with Trancers Week? First off: Tim Thomerson. Tim is Jack Deth and Tim is also the vengeful priest. I saw in an interview that he pulled some from the Deth character and put it into the Priest. Actually, his comment was something like: How much Jack Deth do you want

Secondly, the director of Live Evil is also the same director of Trancers 6. WHOA WHOA WHOA! Don’t leave please: I know what you’re thinking: Fuck Trancers 6. And I’m with you. But Live Evil completely redeems Jay Woelfel of anything he did with Trancers 6. We can just kinda forget it happened and move into the future of Awesome. That future is Live Evil.

And interracial ass kicking.

What he does wrong in Trancers 6, he does completely right in Live Evil. (and it’s not just Jay that fucked up T6, it was everyone involved) The main thing he did right with Live Evil is Tim Thomerson. That man is just an omnipresence (am I using this word correctly?) when he’s in a lead role. He just fucking loves being out front and in your face. FUCK EVERYTHING! Oh what? I’m a priest. FUCK YOU! I’ll fucking murder you awesomely with my sword of death. Then I’ll fucking cut your heart out and eat cuz I’m the baddest motherfucker on the planet. (this happens) PRIEST BITCHES!

This movie opens full throttle and never really lets up. We start out with a woman in search of cock. (Just like every movie should) She finds it. And eats it. Then kills everyone. It’s the greatest vampire opening scene ever. This also leads into a very unique and interesting premise that off of the top of my head, I’ve never heard of: The blood of humans is so full of shit (drugs/STDs/toxins) that it’s undrinkable to vampires. It’s just like trying to drink Soy Blood. Can’t fucking do it. BUT the only TRULY drinkable blood is: Babies. God damn Vampire Babies!!

Oh yeah. That happens too.

And there isn’t just ONE type of vampire. There’s THREE! You got the regular vampires that torch up when the sun touches them. You got the non-shiny twilight vamps that can go out in the sun. And you’ve got vampires that have fangs on their FUCKING HANDS! Wow. My happiness is at maximum.

Jay REALLY steps it up in the director’s chair. The movie was for the most part shot very well. The pacing was damn near perfect and the shots were captured very well. He does a fantastic job of keeping some mystery towards the Priest in the beginning. What I was most impressed with is the car chase scenes. They aren’t all that impressive in reality but HOLY SHIT do they make them feel epic. That really blew me away.

So long story short: just buy this shit. I guarantee if you’re a fan of Trancers and/or a fan of Tim Thomerson: You’ll LOVE this movie. It’s for Tim fans from a Tim fan. How can you argue with that?

(Also it’s got Ken Foree. Fucking BLACK SANTA! YES!)

TRANCERS WEEK! Day 5: 2002

So here we are. We've made it all the way down the line: Trancers 6. So The Final Chapter wasn’t enough was it? I know that, you know that, we ALL know that. You just can’t STOP that much fun without fans BEGGING for more. So here we have Trancers 6…8 years after Trancers 5. That’d probably be ok (Hell Rambo returned after a longer hiatus and kicked more ass then ever before) if it weren’t for two things: In 2002 when Trancers 6 was made, it was a dark time for Full Moon. The budgets were pocket change and the quality was just not what it once was. I can only assume that Trancers 6 was a last ditch effort to pump a little life into the company. (Which in all honesty, I think it did)

The other, more important reason Trancers 6 is a bad idea: THERE’S NO TIM THOMERSON!

God save us.

God that’s just painful isn’t it? That trailer just makes you want to throw yourself out of a window doesn’t it? (More on that in a minute) This movie is a like a half decent fan film. Like some guy just LOVES fucking Jack Deth and decided that hey! Jack just inhabits his descendents right? So Tim doesn’t really have to be there. Let’s just splice in some cuts of Tim from the first 5 movies to get our plot moving (which this movie did) and then we’re off!

FUCK!

Let’s just get this out of the way: This movie is rancid. Everything about it is awful. The actors felt like they were pulled out of a homeless shelter and given a bottle of Karkov to act. (Most of them having this movie as their only credit) My camcorder at home can pump out better quality than whatever the fuck they used to shoot this thing. The lighting is terrible, the effects are hardly there. I’ll give the people who did the make up effects some credit: I’ve seen a lot worse. But when compared to what we’ve already seen: it’s just bad. And the SOUND, oh lord the sound. Un-fucking-forgivable. And the worst part is that its so fucking terrible that you can’t pay attention to the story because you’re too busy shaking your head and throwing up!

*tear

So what we have here is that some guy is checking on the past and sees that someone is trying to kill Jack’s daughter. So he has to send Jack back to 2002 (I think, I wasn’t really paying attention to that) to save her. He’s transported into the body of his daughter and has to deal with the fact that he’s a girl. (They try many failed attempts at humor with this angle) Eventually the Trancers catch up with Jack and Jack (actually it’s Jo. Jo Deth) traces the REAL origins of the Trancers to a meteor that crashed onto Earth. Some EVIL bitch hooked up a laser gun to it and when you shoot people in the eyes with it, it turns them into Trancers. So it’s up to Jo Deth to whoop some ass and save the world once again.

You know what’s really funny? This story actually fits in BETTER in terms of continuity then Trancers 2-5. Like Jack going back in time into his daughter’s body…it’s his daughter that we see with Jack’s personality. The way it’s supposed to be. He makes mention that the things he’s doing now risk his life in the future. The way it’s supposed to be. So…in a weird way this is a well written movie?

But well written isn’t what Trancers is about. We’re all about FUCK IT! FUCK THIS MOVIE! FUCK EVERYTHING! I want recklessness. I want ridiculousness. I want things that make you want to laugh because its so inconceivable. I want JACK DETH! (The Tim Thomerson one)

The Jack Deth Way.

But there is one redeemable scene in this movie. It ALMOST makes the entire effort worth watching. It happens somewhere around 20 minutes into the movie when Jo Deth has her first encounter with a Trancer. The following epicness ensues:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Almost worth it.

(Check back tomorrow for a little redemption movie that in some small way fits in with what you’ve seen this week. It’s something I discovered a few months back and I never see anything about it anywhere. And I refuse to let Trancers week end this way. Tomorrow’s movie isn’t Trancers exactly, but it’s close enough so…fuck it.)

TRANCERS WEEK! Day 4: ????

Can you handle it? Can you take it? Well I hope you have built up some endurance cuz ladies and gentlemen, today you’re getting a DOUBLE SHOT OF DETH!

My first thought was to review Trancers 4 & 5 independently. But then after watching the movies and getting going on Trancers Week, it didn’t feel right. You see, Trancers 4 & 5 were shot back to back and have one long continuing storyline. They’re both fairly independent of the other in terms of goals but they take place in the same universe so I’m taking the Jack Deth approach to this review:

In the event you decide to skip the trailer: Jack Deth is accidently sent to an alternate dimension where there’s hoards of Trancers eagerly awaiting to die at the hands of Deth. This alternate universe resembles medieval Earth and the Trancers proclaim themselves royalty. There’s the head Trancer who has become bored with everything and is intrigued by Jack Deth. He sees him as a challenge. So like a dumbass, he keeps letting him get away until it finally blows up in his face.

With a lead in like that, how CAN you skip it?

Also, ALL of Deth’s gadgets don’t work the same as they would in our universe. So like the LONG SECOND watch that stretches out one second for you into 10 seconds for everyone else…works opposite. It slows Jack down and speeds everyone else up.

HAHAHAHAHA This fucking movie. Crazy I tell you.

I’ll admit I had some serious reservations about this movie. And Part 5. For one: The concept to me sounded kinda dumb. And it’d already been done so well in Army of Darkness, I just didn’t see how anyone could possibly duplicate it and succeed. The posters looked kinda lame and made it seem like they were REALLY stretching to pump out a sequel. And knowing that they made 2 films back to back kinda raised a red flag to me that they’re just trying too fucking hard.

But then I saw something. Nearly 30 seconds into the opening credits I SAW IT. It reached out and poked me in the eye. I had to stop the OPENING CREDITS and jump on the internet to confirm what I had just seen. Yes friends, this movie AND Part 5 were written by none other than Peter David.

Who is Peter David?

SHAME ON YOU! Peter David is MEGA NERD! He’s written countless novels, comic books (for Marvel/Star Trek/tons of other amazing SciFi), and even other Full Moon movies (Like Oblivion and Oblivion 2). He has spent A LOT of time in the Star Trek universe. He’s written a shitload of novels and has even created a completely original, nearly 20 book Star Trek series! (That kicks some serious ass, lemme tell you) So, that being said, the second his name hit the screen:

That guy represents my reservations. They're going right out the door.

So here we have Trancers 4. The intro to this movie is amazing. Jack Deth is just getting sick of the same old shit. His life is even going FARTHER down the tubes because Harris is now sleeping with his OTHER wife from the future. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?

And Deth, being the guy he is, doesn’t pick a fight but rather throws a variety of “Fuck You’s” at him. It’s just so god damn amazing. And then he goes to the bar and hooks up with a woman…

…who turns out to be the chick that’s about to send him on his next mission. HAHAHAHA

(Then this alien dude fucks up the time machine and puts it off course where he lands in a different world.) And you know the rest from the synopsis above. This movie is WILD. It’s so far “over there” that you don’t even care about “over here” anymore. I mean, we all knew time travel was possible through possessing people but traveling to another dimension? WOW. That’s fucking all kinds of awesome.

The thing that gives this movie its charm, is of course: Jack Deth. It’s not so much his reckless ways this time but how he actually copes with his surroundings. He's got no idea where he is or what's going on but there's Trancers and he's going to fucking murder ALL of them. He mouths off to everyone the way Ash would in Army of Darkness. And when he finds out that his stuff doesn’t work right, he gets all kinds of pissed off. It’s slapstick without the corny music. I love it!

But there is a downside. Trancers 4 (and 5 for that matter) plays out like a made for SyFy miniseries. Just way better. You can tell that the filmmakers are holding back on Part 4 because they want to save some stuff for the next part but at the same time are struggling to get through this part. So Trancers 4 pulls back on the reigns…

 The Final Chapter: That's what YOU think.

…while Trancers 5 punches the throttle wide open.

Trancers 5 just never lets up. HOLY FUCK this was a great movie. Now that we’ve got all the bullshit set up and killed the people that are in the way…it’s time to get Deth home.

How?

The Tiamond. (It’s a giant diamond that allows the possessor to go anywhere, anywhen. Or a Time-diamond: Tiamond. Get it?)

So immediately we start on our amazing quest to capture the Tiamond. The Tiamond resides in none other than The Castle of Unrelenting Terror.

HAHAHAHAHA Even JACK thinks that’s the stupidest thing ever.

So the quest begins. And while they are away, for whatever reason, the bad guy’s right hand man from Part 4 takes a painting of the bad guy and “somehow” the bad guy from Part 4 returns a la Ghostbusters 2 from the painting. (God I hope you understand that sentence) So the guy that Jack singed in Part 4 is back…for no reason probably other than they needed a bad guy and it cost too much to hire another actor.

SOOOO…Jack and this other dude make it to the castle. Jack must face three trials before he can possess the Tiamond. The first being, of course, a pack of sex crazy ladies who distract you from existence long enough for you to die horribly. That shit don’t work on Jack ladies. Second, Jack must take down a horde of zombies: That just kind of obey him when he tells them to go away. And THIRD: Jack must face himself. That’s right:

JACK DETH VS JACK DETH!!

Just like Army of Darkness!

So Jack gets the Tiamond and is ready to head home…but not before the bad guy steals it. Now the bad guy wants to use it to get to our dimension so he can steal all our weapons and use them against everyone to rule the universe.

Blah blah blah. We all know how this ends. Jack Deth kills everyone and gets the girl. YEAH!

Fucking yes awesome. Jack NEVER lets up in this movie. He has a smart ass remark for EVERYTHING. I laughed so many times during this movie. There was this one part when a lady was begging him to go back to his world with him and Jack told her no by saying this: (paraphrasing) “I think a real woman is one that makes you want to bust her in the chops. Not doing it makes you a real man. You’re not that kinda woman” HAHAHAHAHA oh my god, that’s awesome.

Like I say over and over: Tim Thomerson is what makes this series so amazing. His portrayal of Jack Deth is spot on and fantastic. You just can’t wait to see how he handles the next situation. It’s always a surprise and always awesome. So it "borrows" a few things from a few movies, but those things are amazing and when combined they make the Optimus Prime of Science Fiction!

TRANCERS

TRANCERS WEEK! Day 1: 1985

Before I get started, you'll want to check out the foreign poster as well:

America, when will you learn?

TRANCERS WEEK begins right here, right now. Trancers combines the two greatest things in the world: Charles Band and Tim Thomerson. When those two worlds collide, the possibilities are endless. And always fucking awesome.

We begin…at the beginning. In the future.

Trancers opens in the future. Our hero JACK DETH (a name they make fun of over and over again in this movie) strolls into a café looking for some coffee…and Trancers. Trancers are zombielike people under the mental control of some dude named Whistler. They look perfectly normal until they’re made out like Carpenter’s The Thing and then they transform into crazy psycho zombie bastards. Well…this happens in the diner and Jack Deth singes that squid. (I love the words in this movie. Everybody’s a squid. I gather it’s like being a square…but worse)

From there we get our plot. Whistler is alive…in 1985. Deth must travel back in time to stop him from killing the head counsel’s descendents. The thing is: You don’t actually go back in time, your consciousness takes over the body of your descendent at that time. (That can’t possibly ruin your own existence in any way) So Deth goes “down the line” and meets up with Helen Hunt, who quickly learns what a Trancer is, and she helps Deth in his quest.

That’s not the whole movie…probably something like the first 20 minutes. The rest is spent hunting Trancers, using cool gadgets, avoiding Whistler, tracking down the counsel’s descendents, and watching Thomerson being a generally cool guy.

Thomerson brings his best in this movie. If you’ve seen him play a tough guy before…nothing has really changed here. He’s just as tough as he ever was and will forever be. I love when he plays this kind of role. You’d see this same persona in Zone Troopers and Dollman and I assume I’ll see it in Trancers 2-5.

Trancers is hackysack insane. DO NOT try to make sense of it. DO NOT try to follow continuity (which really isn’t too terrible), DO NOT try to pick out paradoxes in time travel, because you know what….this movie is full of errors. AND I DON’T CARE! Why? Because I love time travel and I love tough guys doing whatever they feel like. You get both. Jack Deth is so fucking reckless and careless when it comes to the time/space continuum that he would have given Doc Brown a heart attack 10 minutes into the movie.

 Jack Deth: Giving exactly ZERO FUCKS about anything.

And the effects! Classic 80’s Charles Band. This is a pre-Full Moon, Empire Pictures film. He put out a lot of crazy stuff and they all had pretty awesome effects. John Buechler did the effects for this movie…as he has done with a lot of Band’s stuff in the 80’s/early 90s. All of it spectacularly practical. It’s pretty cheesy in this movie…but that’s why we love it.

When all is said and done, Trancers is a really fun movie. The one-liners shoot out at you with machine gun pace, the action is overthetop funny, the 80s soundtrack is AMAZING, the tough guy attitude never lets up and never gets old, and there’s fucking TIME TRAVEL! HELL YES! And for some reason Helen Hunt agreed to do this movie (albeit early on in her career but still…Helen Hunt was in this movie…and the next 2 sequels)

The most important thing you can learn from this movie is that demon possessions are bullshit. It’s just a distant relative having a little fun. Fucking squids.

Next Week is Trancers Week!

I'm thinking 2 is the worst since Thomerson doesn't have a gun in his hand pointed up at something.

This is a LOOOOOOOOONG time coming. I've been wanting to watch this series ever since I bought 4 & 5 on DVD months ago but I keep getting sidetracked. NOT THIS TIME. We're going to fucking rock this shit for SEVEN STRAIGHT DAYS!!!

!!!

Seven? WTF? There's only 6 movies.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

On the seventh day I will review a hidden, SUPER AMAZINGLY SECRET, Tim Thomerson movie. (It's not entirely secret but I don't know anyone that knows about it) ADDED BONUS!

So get your helmets ready because there's no way your head will be able to handle this much Thomerson for this long without exploding. (The helmets should help prevent explosion. I seriously need you guys to keep reading this blog so don't die from extreme win.)

TRAILERS: Trancers 1, Trancers 2, Trancers 3, Trancers 4, Trancers 5, Trancers 6

Combining Reality's greatest creations, Full Moon Features and Tim Thomerson, this is...

TRANCERS WEEK!

(Starting Sunday, July 31st)

Puppet Master Collection on DVD plus SO MUCH MORE!

Happy Full Moon Friday!

GUESS WHAT!? Charles Band (or most likely one of his wonderful minions) has linked my Evil Bong 3D review EVERYWHERE! He posted it on Facebook, sent it out with the email newsletter, put it up on the Full Moon Direct homepage AND the Evil Bong 3D website! We did it friends! By god, we're getting noticed around here. Now if we can just convince him to make that Wolf Cop movie, we're fucking set.

You know, it's just been a Full Moon/Charles Band kinda week. Everything from Evil Bong 3D to Incest Death Squad. It's been a hell of a time. I'll have to get out and do more of these journeys to see movies because it gives me a weeks worth of material to write about. But being it's been one amazing day after another I see no other way to end the week other than with Full Moon.

So, after stumbling around aimlessly on Amazon I discovered some movie sets I never knew existed. Get your wallets out, this is gonna be expensive...

(Click the picture to be linked to Amazon)

 

Amazon Price: $26.49

HOLY SHIT! That is less than $3 a movie. Whether you're a fan of Puppet Master or are just looking to watch them all...this is the way to go. This set contains ALL 9 Puppet Master films. (excluding Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys) So that's Puppet Master 1-5, Curse, Retro, Legacy, and the All New Axis of Evil. I need this set.

Amazon Price: $9.99

You've heard me talk about them all week, now you can own them!

Amazon Price: $10.74

This is an older set but still a good one.

Amazon Price: $12.99

These are the kinda unofficial sequels to Robot Jox. Worth the watch. And I believe Barbara Crampton appears in Robot Wars.

Amazon Price: $9.99

Get caught up for Gingerdead Man 3 with this set. Not a bad price for both movies.

 

Amazon Price: $13.49

Fuck Twilight. These are real Vampire. Angus Scrimm vampires. It's a shame this doesn't have all 4. Still not bad though. You can always pick up 4 at Full Moon Direct.

Amazon Price: $13.49

It's sad that Demonic Toys 2 isn't on here but its still a cool set with Demonic Toys, Dollman, and Dollman vs Demonic Toys. I've seen this in Walmart for $5 so you may want to try there first.

Amazon Price: $9.99

Oh yeah, this set is worth it. There's actually 6 total Trancer movies. But I believe that the first 3 tie into each other best and give a really good effort. 4, 5, & 6 kinda do their own thing. Which is fine. And so is this set.

Amazon Price: $9.49

This is another one I've seen in Walmart for $5. It's worth it. Especially if you are unsure of Puppet Master but you want to give it a shot. The first 3 Puppet Master movies are excellent and well worth this price.

Well that's enough whorin' around for Full Moon for one week don't you think? We'll see you next week where I'll show you a trailer that is one of the most amazing Rip Off...of a Rip Offs that I have ever seen!

Have a great weekend everybody!

New Charles Band Interview! NEW TRANCERS IS COMING!!

Here is a brand new interview done with the guys at FearCast. It's almost embarrassing to watch if Charles Band wasn't actually there. Those guys are so nervous to talk to him, it's pretty hilarious. Maybe they should have written those que cards a little bigger. lol

And if it were me, I'd probably be worse.

So here's the interview in its entirety. The first six minutes there really isn't much, just reiterating how awesome Band and Full Moon are. Then around the 6:30 mark things get interesting. Charles Band reveals some of his plans for 2011. I don't know if he just decided...fuck it, I'm gonna tell these guys, or what...but here it all is:

-A new film starring an entire midget cast called "Unlucky Charms"
-NEW TRANCERS! TIM THOMERSON IS ON BOARD!! (Trancers 7: Deth in Shanghai)
-And there is a script written for a new Subspecies prequel. They just need money. (I'm hoping they can get Angus Scrimm to come back as Radu's father. THAT would be cool.)

Here's the rest of the interview. Enjoy!

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Charles Band #1 (bitches)

It's October and with it comes a huge list of epic greatness. In case you haven't read the intro to this thing, I'll be counting down 31 of the greatest Charles Band movies. Keep your internet dials tuned to Mr. Gable's Reality DAILY for new and exciting Charles Band goodness. I began this countdown with TEN Charles Band movies that I have yet to see, then I explored ELEVEN films that personally learned the art of Kick Ass! from Charles Band, and now I present to you, the loyal Reality fans, THE TOP TEN CHARLES BAND MOVIES OF ALL TIME! Let's do this thing...

The 31 Greatest Bad Movies Charles Band Has Ever Produced #1

Before I unveil the #1 greatest Charles Band movie of all time, I wish to say a couple of things. First...thank you all so much to my followers and loyal phantom readers. Although this blog is basically brand new and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing...it's really amazing for me to know that so many of you give two shits about the shit that I talk about here. I never knew that so many cared about horrible movies. Also, thanks to all of you that followed the countdown and a special thanks for those of you that commented. VINCENT! That's 90% you buddy! I fucking love talking nerdy, and I love talking Full Moon. You gave me both. So finally October is done...but I'll be damned if it'll go out with a whimper. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen...The Single Greatest Charles Band Movie Ever Known To Exist...

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wait for it...

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The Trailer:

Oh Fuck Yes. That's Tim Thomerson and Helen Hunt. God dammit this movie is awesome. There's so much Tim Thomerson WIN in this movie that it will nearly make your head explode.

So this movie is all about Tim Thomerson in the future...joined alongside the majority of the cast of Zone Troopers...and Tim...aka JACK (MOTHERFUCKING) DETH...is sent back in time to track down some dude. Along the way he kills lots of Trancers...or zombie dudes. And it's fucking amazing.

If you've read this blog...or this countdown...you know I have a serious hard on for Tim Thomerson. Not in a gay way...well maybe a little...but he is just so fucking awesome. Zone Troopers...Dollman...Trancers 1-6. He is just so powerful and awesome. And this movie, this series, DEFINES who Tim Thomerson is. The ultimate badass superhero.

So for being the most magnificent piece of art that has ever made sweet love to my eyeballs, I give Trancers the NUMBER ONE spot on the 31 greatest Charles Band movies of all time. I hope you have enjoyed this list and everything associated with it. It's been quite the challenge to blog consistently every day to make this happen...and I think it's been a massive success. Please, please...leave comments here or on the summary page letting me know what you think about Trancers...and about the countdown as a whole. Did you learn some things...did you find some ancient forgotten gems...do you have new heroes or favorite movies? I hope in some small way I have effected your movie lives. I love Full Moon and Charles Band...and I think everyone should too.

If you liked this movie then check out:

Trancers 2

With Jeffrey Combs!

Trancers 3

With Andrew Robinson!

Trancers 4: Jack of Swords

 

With Mid-Evil Jack Deth!

Trancers 5: Sudden Deth

With Pycho Drama!

Trancers 6

With very little Tim Thomerson :(

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Trancers (1985)

What the hell took me so long to see this! I love this movie! I watched it twice in the past few weeks, once on vhs and the other last night on dvd with the Full Moon Archive boxset I received. I can't wait to see part 2 and 3. I'm gonna have to do some digging for parts 4 & 5. Part 2 has Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton both in it. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a Re-Animator crazy, and these two are my gods!

Anyway...Trancers. That title alone is badass. That poster alone is badass. That star Tim Thomerson alone is badass. That co-star Helen Hunt alone is badass. Transporting back in time to 1985 inhabiting the body of your distant ancestor to do battle with a mind controlling freak who has done the same...alone is badass. But TRANCERS has ALL of these things and so much more.

Trancers is pure entertainment from start to finish. I just love these crazy off the wall 80's sci fi flicks. They will never win any oscars or any of those corrupt "prestigious" awards, but films like this one are solid gold in my opinion. Since this I'm becoming more of a fan of Tim Thomerson after seeing this and Dollman, which is also a Full Moon release.

So what's a Trancer? Why am I taking so fucking long to tell you what a Trancer is? Well I think the real question is, Why don't YOU know what a Trancer is? Yeah, if you have no idea then you better find this movie and watch it. It's so great, that it would shake the very foundation of the world if I just told you. You have to experience it for yourself to truely understand it. Kind of like sex for the first time.

But yes, Trancers is crazy, Trancers is witty, Trancers is just plain awesome. It's a truely entertaining 80's science fiction film that delivers continuously from start to finish. The hero Jack Deth (I love the name) is always kicking someone's ass. Go find this movie and watch it, and if you have it...why aren't you watching it? Go ahead, this review is about over anyway...all I'm gonna do is retype this week's headlines and drink some coffee. Go ahead...watch Trancers. I'll wait til you get back so we can discuss its greatness. Well ok, I'm done.

P.S. - A Trancer is someone with a weak mind that the villian controls with his mind that he uses to fight Jack Deth. They are in a zombie state of mind (and look). hear that? I think the ground just shook.