Friday, August 5, 2011

TRANCERS WEEK! Day 6: Live Evil

Trancers Week comes to a close. But like every porno movie ever made: I end it with the money shot. Let us begin with the trailer:

Pull your pants down and sit on a toilet. You may just shit yourself with excitement after reading this:

Live Evil is (courtesy of A hunter dressed in black. This cowboy-hat-wearing samurai-sword-wielding Priest is on a quest for blood. Vampire blood. He's out for revenge on a "clique" of four vampires who are traveling across country in search of "pure blood." The human blood stream has become polluted by drugs, alcohol, Aids, Diabetes, anti-depressants, cigarettes, anything that changes the blood even a small amount makes it undrinkable for Vampires, who, like hi-performance automobiles need "hi test" fuel= Blood in order to survive. This has started a sort of underground civil war between various groups of vampires and vampires themselves have mutated due to the pollution of their life blood. Live Evil is what is written on playing cards left behind on the bodies of dead vampires that this mysterious Priest/Hunter leaves in his wake as he gets closer and closer to our main group of vampires...

So basically, Jack Deth disguised as a priest murdering vampires with a sword and guns. Oh how life can be so AWESOME!

How does this movie fit in with Trancers Week? First off: Tim Thomerson. Tim is Jack Deth and Tim is also the vengeful priest. I saw in an interview that he pulled some from the Deth character and put it into the Priest. Actually, his comment was something like: How much Jack Deth do you want

Secondly, the director of Live Evil is also the same director of Trancers 6. WHOA WHOA WHOA! Don’t leave please: I know what you’re thinking: Fuck Trancers 6. And I’m with you. But Live Evil completely redeems Jay Woelfel of anything he did with Trancers 6. We can just kinda forget it happened and move into the future of Awesome. That future is Live Evil.

And interracial ass kicking.

What he does wrong in Trancers 6, he does completely right in Live Evil. (and it’s not just Jay that fucked up T6, it was everyone involved) The main thing he did right with Live Evil is Tim Thomerson. That man is just an omnipresence (am I using this word correctly?) when he’s in a lead role. He just fucking loves being out front and in your face. FUCK EVERYTHING! Oh what? I’m a priest. FUCK YOU! I’ll fucking murder you awesomely with my sword of death. Then I’ll fucking cut your heart out and eat cuz I’m the baddest motherfucker on the planet. (this happens) PRIEST BITCHES!

This movie opens full throttle and never really lets up. We start out with a woman in search of cock. (Just like every movie should) She finds it. And eats it. Then kills everyone. It’s the greatest vampire opening scene ever. This also leads into a very unique and interesting premise that off of the top of my head, I’ve never heard of: The blood of humans is so full of shit (drugs/STDs/toxins) that it’s undrinkable to vampires. It’s just like trying to drink Soy Blood. Can’t fucking do it. BUT the only TRULY drinkable blood is: Babies. God damn Vampire Babies!!

Oh yeah. That happens too.

And there isn’t just ONE type of vampire. There’s THREE! You got the regular vampires that torch up when the sun touches them. You got the non-shiny twilight vamps that can go out in the sun. And you’ve got vampires that have fangs on their FUCKING HANDS! Wow. My happiness is at maximum.

Jay REALLY steps it up in the director’s chair. The movie was for the most part shot very well. The pacing was damn near perfect and the shots were captured very well. He does a fantastic job of keeping some mystery towards the Priest in the beginning. What I was most impressed with is the car chase scenes. They aren’t all that impressive in reality but HOLY SHIT do they make them feel epic. That really blew me away.

So long story short: just buy this shit. I guarantee if you’re a fan of Trancers and/or a fan of Tim Thomerson: You’ll LOVE this movie. It’s for Tim fans from a Tim fan. How can you argue with that?

(Also it’s got Ken Foree. Fucking BLACK SANTA! YES!)

1 comment:

  1. Man, I really need to get my act together and make the rest of these Trancers movies happen. Great stuff all week, and I'll come back and hit each post as I make my way through the rest of the series.