Wednesday, August 3, 2011

TRANCERS WEEK! Day 4: ????

Can you handle it? Can you take it? Well I hope you have built up some endurance cuz ladies and gentlemen, today you’re getting a DOUBLE SHOT OF DETH!

My first thought was to review Trancers 4 & 5 independently. But then after watching the movies and getting going on Trancers Week, it didn’t feel right. You see, Trancers 4 & 5 were shot back to back and have one long continuing storyline. They’re both fairly independent of the other in terms of goals but they take place in the same universe so I’m taking the Jack Deth approach to this review:

In the event you decide to skip the trailer: Jack Deth is accidently sent to an alternate dimension where there’s hoards of Trancers eagerly awaiting to die at the hands of Deth. This alternate universe resembles medieval Earth and the Trancers proclaim themselves royalty. There’s the head Trancer who has become bored with everything and is intrigued by Jack Deth. He sees him as a challenge. So like a dumbass, he keeps letting him get away until it finally blows up in his face.

With a lead in like that, how CAN you skip it?

Also, ALL of Deth’s gadgets don’t work the same as they would in our universe. So like the LONG SECOND watch that stretches out one second for you into 10 seconds for everyone else…works opposite. It slows Jack down and speeds everyone else up.

HAHAHAHAHA This fucking movie. Crazy I tell you.

I’ll admit I had some serious reservations about this movie. And Part 5. For one: The concept to me sounded kinda dumb. And it’d already been done so well in Army of Darkness, I just didn’t see how anyone could possibly duplicate it and succeed. The posters looked kinda lame and made it seem like they were REALLY stretching to pump out a sequel. And knowing that they made 2 films back to back kinda raised a red flag to me that they’re just trying too fucking hard.

But then I saw something. Nearly 30 seconds into the opening credits I SAW IT. It reached out and poked me in the eye. I had to stop the OPENING CREDITS and jump on the internet to confirm what I had just seen. Yes friends, this movie AND Part 5 were written by none other than Peter David.

Who is Peter David?

SHAME ON YOU! Peter David is MEGA NERD! He’s written countless novels, comic books (for Marvel/Star Trek/tons of other amazing SciFi), and even other Full Moon movies (Like Oblivion and Oblivion 2). He has spent A LOT of time in the Star Trek universe. He’s written a shitload of novels and has even created a completely original, nearly 20 book Star Trek series! (That kicks some serious ass, lemme tell you) So, that being said, the second his name hit the screen:

That guy represents my reservations. They're going right out the door.

So here we have Trancers 4. The intro to this movie is amazing. Jack Deth is just getting sick of the same old shit. His life is even going FARTHER down the tubes because Harris is now sleeping with his OTHER wife from the future. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?

And Deth, being the guy he is, doesn’t pick a fight but rather throws a variety of “Fuck You’s” at him. It’s just so god damn amazing. And then he goes to the bar and hooks up with a woman…

…who turns out to be the chick that’s about to send him on his next mission. HAHAHAHA

(Then this alien dude fucks up the time machine and puts it off course where he lands in a different world.) And you know the rest from the synopsis above. This movie is WILD. It’s so far “over there” that you don’t even care about “over here” anymore. I mean, we all knew time travel was possible through possessing people but traveling to another dimension? WOW. That’s fucking all kinds of awesome.

The thing that gives this movie its charm, is of course: Jack Deth. It’s not so much his reckless ways this time but how he actually copes with his surroundings. He's got no idea where he is or what's going on but there's Trancers and he's going to fucking murder ALL of them. He mouths off to everyone the way Ash would in Army of Darkness. And when he finds out that his stuff doesn’t work right, he gets all kinds of pissed off. It’s slapstick without the corny music. I love it!

But there is a downside. Trancers 4 (and 5 for that matter) plays out like a made for SyFy miniseries. Just way better. You can tell that the filmmakers are holding back on Part 4 because they want to save some stuff for the next part but at the same time are struggling to get through this part. So Trancers 4 pulls back on the reigns…

 The Final Chapter: That's what YOU think.

…while Trancers 5 punches the throttle wide open.

Trancers 5 just never lets up. HOLY FUCK this was a great movie. Now that we’ve got all the bullshit set up and killed the people that are in the way…it’s time to get Deth home.


The Tiamond. (It’s a giant diamond that allows the possessor to go anywhere, anywhen. Or a Time-diamond: Tiamond. Get it?)

So immediately we start on our amazing quest to capture the Tiamond. The Tiamond resides in none other than The Castle of Unrelenting Terror.

HAHAHAHAHA Even JACK thinks that’s the stupidest thing ever.

So the quest begins. And while they are away, for whatever reason, the bad guy’s right hand man from Part 4 takes a painting of the bad guy and “somehow” the bad guy from Part 4 returns a la Ghostbusters 2 from the painting. (God I hope you understand that sentence) So the guy that Jack singed in Part 4 is back…for no reason probably other than they needed a bad guy and it cost too much to hire another actor.

SOOOO…Jack and this other dude make it to the castle. Jack must face three trials before he can possess the Tiamond. The first being, of course, a pack of sex crazy ladies who distract you from existence long enough for you to die horribly. That shit don’t work on Jack ladies. Second, Jack must take down a horde of zombies: That just kind of obey him when he tells them to go away. And THIRD: Jack must face himself. That’s right:

Just like Army of Darkness!

So Jack gets the Tiamond and is ready to head home…but not before the bad guy steals it. Now the bad guy wants to use it to get to our dimension so he can steal all our weapons and use them against everyone to rule the universe.

Blah blah blah. We all know how this ends. Jack Deth kills everyone and gets the girl. YEAH!

Fucking yes awesome. Jack NEVER lets up in this movie. He has a smart ass remark for EVERYTHING. I laughed so many times during this movie. There was this one part when a lady was begging him to go back to his world with him and Jack told her no by saying this: (paraphrasing) “I think a real woman is one that makes you want to bust her in the chops. Not doing it makes you a real man. You’re not that kinda woman” HAHAHAHAHA oh my god, that’s awesome.

Like I say over and over: Tim Thomerson is what makes this series so amazing. His portrayal of Jack Deth is spot on and fantastic. You just can’t wait to see how he handles the next situation. It’s always a surprise and always awesome. So it "borrows" a few things from a few movies, but those things are amazing and when combined they make the Optimus Prime of Science Fiction!

1 comment:

  1. I enjoy the story of 4 and 5 overall, but they feel to me like they stretched out an idea for one good 100 minute or so movie into two short movies. I didn't like 5 as much as you did, I think everything interesting in it could've been edited into a longer part 4.

    But still, the more Trancers movies the better.

    - Cody