Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation Poster and new Trailer!

Couple weeks back I blogged about Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation. At the time there was just an "ok" trailer and no Poster art. Well, it's as if they were reading my blog because now there is a wonderful poster and a newer, more Jeffrey Combsesque, trailer for all of us to enjoy!

The Poster

HOLY FUCKING FUCK! Wishmaster and Herbert West with mustaches.

The newer, better trailer:

SUMMER 2012!!?? GODAMMIT!!!

What did I just add to my Netflix Queue?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YES!

We all need to see this.

I saw this on another website and within 5 seconds of watching the trailer this was in my instant queue. God bless you Netflix Instant. Your library of terrible movies knows no bounds.

And with any luck, review later this week.

THREE new Full Moon movies go into production!

From the email I received yesterday:

Full Moon is starting production on 3 new feature films!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we're super inspired and excited about these unique productions!!!!!!!!!

They are: KILLER EYE 2: HALLOWEEN HAUNT! Our killer horny eyeball is back as a replica size hypnotic monster that terrorizes 5 hot chicks as they set up a Halloween haunt in an old mansion! UNLUCKY CHARMS: Four super deformed mythical monsters are called upon to extract revenge on a group of beauty contestants shooting a reality TV show! And THE DEAD WANT WOMEN! This title says it all! Our first living dead movie in ages - and these dead simply want women!!!

CB

HOLY SHIT! KILLER HORNY EYEBALL! I NEED TO SEE PART ONE! HAHAHAHAHAHA

This is awesome news. Even though I was really hoping TRANCERS 7 would be included in this list...but it isn't. I hope that stills makes it someday. But this news is still awesome! It's glad to see that their list of new movies is started to extend PAST sequels. (Killer Eye 2 not included) The Dead Want Woman: That sounds amazing. But I can't help but wonder in what way the Dead will need these women. Hopefully they need them naked. That's my vote. And Unlucky Charms...I know this is about midgets. Fucking awesome deformed midgets. Charles Band also included four character descriptions for Unlucky Charms, check it out:

FARR DARRIG:
a strange dwarf with a bright red beard. His clothes and hat suggest those of a Leprechaun, but not green....instead bright red

BANSHEE:
An old female hag with straw-like hair and milky-white eyes, dressed in rags, her mouth seeming much larger than it should

POOKAH:
a hideous hobgoblin with long sharp claws and wicked needle teeth

BLOODY BONES:
A one eyed Cyclops with a necklace of bones not quite stripped of bloody flesh

Ah, fuck yeah. This is gonna be awesome. I'll be sure to let you know when these become available!

SHOUT OUT TO MY BLOG FRIENDS!

This is something I've been meaning to do for a long time...so I'm just gonna go ahead and do it. It isn't just me out there blogging about amazing things. When I first started blogging....I had no idea the amount of AWESOME that was in store for me. HOLY SHIT! You guys are way more awesome than I am. I just use CAPS and !!!!!!! all the time. You guys actually are smart and professional with your blogs. So I will take the time (from time to time) to recognize you here. But since there's so many of you out there, I'll hit two birds with one stone.

http://www.mattmovieguy.com

Everybody needs to check out this place. If you are a fan of action and bad movies, THIS is your home. While I tend to lean more towards killer eyes and killer tires, Matt over at DTV spends his time chronicling the actions of Steven Seagal, Gary Daniels, Eric Roberts, and Cynthia Rothrock. His reviews are always amazing and chock full of insight and pictures. He's been doing this for YEARS so his library of reviews is very extensive. It's because of this guy that I became aware of TWO Billy Blanks/Roddy Piper movies. FUCKING TWO. (Not to mention a boatload of Gary Daniels movies I never knew existed). And it just isn't strictly action movies, from time to time he slips into horror or whatever. If it's Direct to Video, it's on the Direct to Video Connoisseur!

(Also thank you for teaching me how to spell connoisseur.)

http://www.shebloggedbynight.com

Stacia over at She Blogged by Night has such a cooler blog than I do. Stacia pretty much lives in the 50s and 60s. She posts A LOT of pictures...which is fortunate for me since I have rarely a clue what she is talking about. (I'm getting better) I only know of a handful of actors from that time and probably the same amount of movies from that time. She does these gorgeous pictorial exposes of actors and actresses constantly. I'm a sucker for nostalgia and all things history (when it comes to cinema) so She Blogged by Night is perfect for that. I'd like to thank her for schooling me day in and day out on all kinds of amazing treasures that I assuredly would never find. It's nice to see someone has forgotten our roots.

And a personal thank you for being one of the first followers to my blog and for your support.

Now for the rest of you, follow these people. They're awesome!

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Never Cry Werewolf (2008)

The Trailer:

A couple days ago I posted a trailer for a Kevin Sorbo Predator/Robowar Ripoff called Flesh Wounds. I was so damned excited for a Kevin Sorbo ripoff that I had to check out another ripoff he did a couple years back. This time Fright Night gets the Sorbo treatment...

There are only 3 kinds of people that would LOVE Never Cry Werewolf.

1. People who ABSOLUTELY adore the movie Fright Night. They know the movie in and out…or at least have a pretty good understanding of the story. These people also happen to love horrible movies.

2. Blissfully ignorant teenagers.

3. Morons.

I happen to fall in the first category. (obviously)

Never Cry Werewolf IS Fright Night. There really is no way around it. The story is the same, the scene sequence is the same, the characters, for the most part, are the same. BUT WAIT! There’s a werewolf instead of a vampire…so its totally different.

(I’m about to spoil the shit out of Fright Night and Never Cry Werewolf so if you have seen neither of these movies and have any intention of watching them, you might want to skip the next part)

1-Fright Night starts out with a boy sitting in his room. He looks out the window and notices there’s a new neighbor. And there’s something odd about it all. But he shrugs it off for the time being.

2-Fright Night arouses suspicion by having the Vampire next door luring women home late at night and eating them in front of the window…which the boy sees from his window. (and the news points out that said woman has gone missing the next day)

3-Fright Night has the evil Neighbor coming over to the boys home and getting friendly with the family and making silent threats to the boy.

4-Fright Night has the vampire being interested in the girl because she bears a striking resemblance to his lady he had eons ago.

5-Fright Night has the boy running to the police begging them to look into his neighbor. When they do, the boy proclaims that his neighbor is vampire and everyone laughs at him.

6-Fright Night then has the boy trying to figure everything out. He does a little research, with the help of his good pal EVIL ED (Amazing character by the way), and figures out the best way to kill a vampire.

7-Fright Night then enlists the help of a washed up late night TV personality. He is on the verge of cancellation and his career is basically over. This man is Peter Vincent. The greatest vampire hunter in recorded history.

8-Fright Night then has Peter Vincent checking out the neighbor, with obvious disbelief. It’s all an act. But then something happens that causes him to instantly believe that the neighbor is in fact a vampire.

9-Fright Night then has Peter Vincent trying to run away from it. The boy begs him to help him. But when Peter Vincent tells him no, the boy tells him that he’s going to do it anyway. So Peter is conflicted and feels bad so he goes to help the boy anyway.

10-They invade the neighbors home, have a crazy little battle, and become victorious against the terrible vampire.

Now if you re-read 1-10 and replace Fright Night with Never Cry Werewolf, boy with girl, vampire with werewolf, Evil Ed with Emo Pizza delivery guy, Peter Vincent with Kevin Sorbo, and “greatest vampire hunter in recorded history” with “pussiest werewolf hunter in recorded history”, you have Never Cry Werewolf.

This would be one of the "werewolves".

And you know what? I kinda liked it. For some reason I really liked it. It’s just that I’ve seen Fright Night enough times to know how the story goes, so when I watched Never Cry Werewolf, I was just BLOWN AWAY about how similar it was. It’s like all those papers in high school that you cheated on. Those ones where you just made a photocopy and used whiteout to put your name on it. This is the same thing. I actually had a lot of fun anticipating the next scene...waiting to see if it take the same road as Fright Night or try to be something original. Nope. Same fucking road.

If you’ve never seen Fright Night, then this movie might still appeal to you. It’s got a cute girl in it. There’s no nudity, but she’s still pretty cute. The werewolf effects are really good. With the exception of one scene…all practical puppet effects. I really really appreciated that. And this movie is quite a bit gorier than Fright Night…so it scores some points there.

And if you haven’t seen this movie. The first kill will make you laugh really hard. HOLY SHIT that guys acting is amazingly horrible.

If I had to recommend this…I would say that I would. Probably the best thing you could do is make a drinking game out of it and every time you see something that this movie ripped right out of the Fright Night screenplay…take a drink. Trust me, you’ll be feeling pretty good by the end of it.

Other than that…it was alright. The acting was bad but the effects were actually really good. The story, even though it was ripped off, progressed kinda haphazardly. It’s like a crinkled up Fright Night.

I don’t know. I love it and I hate it. Would I watch it again? Absolutely. So I guess that’s all that really matters doesn’t it?

No. No it doesn’t.

Halcyon Internation Pictures: Your new home for BAD MOVIES!

OH BABY! You need to check this out. I have no idea who or what these people do. Their website, even with their impressively professional water logo, really doesn't SCREAM movies to me. (this looks more like what my water company would look like) There isn't even any information on their website about what they do. I think they're a distributor. They have Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator on their list of movies...so maybe this means more Re-Animator? I don't know. But check out just a few of the titles in their stock:

Fuck yeah. I need to see all these. Check out their website for other amazing titles! If you know any more information than I do...please leave it in the comments. I sent them an email the other day regarding Parasitic. I NEED TO SEE THAT MOVIE.

Kevin Sorbo has some new Flesh Wounds

HOLY SHIT! This looks like Hercules vs the Borg. I'm in.

I hinted at this last week. (And I base this off the trailer) This movie is one amazing looking Rip Off...of a Rip Off. Anyone remember my Robowar review? Basically Robowar is Predator, shot for shot, if the Predator were a Robot.

Now we have Flesh Wounds. Which looks like its Robowar...if it starred Kevin Sorbo.

Yes. This is gonna be awesome!

You know, last night I watched another Kevin Sorbo ripoff: Never Cry Werewolf. It is a SHOT FOR SHOT ripoff of Fright Night. It has it all. I was blown away. I mean, wow. (review soon) But if Flesh Wounds is anything like that, then we are in for a GOOD TIME! I love ripoffs. I don't know why. Maybe its just fun to sit and watch these movies in anticipation for the next scene they steal.

Dear god, is Kevin Sorbo the next Reb Brown? You know...cuz Reb Brown did all those ripoffs in the 80s...Strike Commando, Robowar, Yor. I hope so. That'd be awesome.

Anyway, Flesh Wounds: SYNOPSIS!

On a remote US Army facility that officially doesn’t exist, a top-secret group of scientists conduct weapons research when they’re horribly and suddenly ripped apart by an unseen enemy.

With the disappearance of the scientists blamed on terrorists, an elite covert ops team commanded by Lt. Tyler (Kevin Sorbo) is tasked with recovering the missing personnel within 24 hours as well as keeping the operation strictly off the books. Accompanied by CIA escort Cassandra Mason (Heather Marie Marsden), Tyler’s team arrives in country only to find the scientists already dead. They’ve been savagely dismembered, and as one of the team observes, "There’s no way an AK-47 can do this to a man." Tyler’s commandos engage the terrorists, but after the slaughter it’s apparent the supposed terrorists are actually a contingent of US soldiers on a training exercise. Something far stronger and more dangerous than terrorists has mutilated the scientists.

Pentagon machinations aside, Mason points out that Tyler’s job is just to shoot his gun and keep his mouth shut. But as the bodies pile up and the deadline closes in, the reason for the secrecy becomes clear. Tyler and his team have been sent to destroy a prototype super soldier, and this mission they may not return from.

Well that is pretty revealing. And pretty much exactly what happens in Robowar. And Predator. BUT it's totally different. This has Kevin Sorbo. And scientists. This is gonna be awesome.

Look for Flesh Wounds to hit DVD on July 28th. Hopefully this goes straight to Netflix Instant. I need to see this.

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

This is actually one of a couple posters for this movie. It's an Italian production so it goes by a few names. But I liked this poster the best so that's what I'm putting here. But if you'd like to see the official poster (and even buy this movie) you can check it out on Amazon here.

Now onto Cannibal Apocalypse.

The story centers around some 'Nam vets. They contract some cannibal virus while in combat. They are then institutionalized until several years later. They are released and immediately go on one amazing cannibal adventure after another. John Saxon joins their group and they terrorize the town, spreading the man eating disease to everyone they come into contact with.

This movie is written and directed by Anthony Dawson. If you're up on your shit movie directors, this is the mastermind behind Yor: The Hunter From the Future. And honestly...I was really pumped for a good/bad movie. Turns out...Cannibal Apocalypse is actually a really GOOD movie. Especially in comparison to Yor. I just don't understand how one can be so good and the other look so bad. Oh well, I don't want to knock on Yor. That movie's amazing.

For a movie that was made in the late 70s, there's a lot of fantastic gore in this movie. I don't claim to know the gore standards of the late 70s but if Friday the 13th is a base for comparison, Cannibal Apocalypse will fucking mutilate you. There could have been more gore obviously but for the period, it is very good. And they space it out just enough that you can appreciate it.

John Saxon and his sidekick "The Exterminator."

John Saxon. Is the man. You'll recognize him as Nancy's father in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. He brings his A game here. You just can't beat a man eating Saxon.

If there's any criticism I could give to this movie, it's that the actual Apocalypse took too long to happen. I guess that's to be expected but it started out so promising but then just...did something else. I was all pumped for a wild cannibal orgy but it just didn't happen. That's ok though...I got something else instead. And I liked it.

Alcohol Paul borrowed this to me and just told me to watch it, it's amazing. And I've learned to trust him on these things. He is so much better at finding these kinds of movies than I am and I trust his judgement. So going into this, I knew that I was in for some amazing shit. So I had to Tweet about it with the world. Here is results:

CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE TWITTERTHON

(anything in [] was added for this review)

Alright Twitterheads! Listen up! CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE is coming to a feed near you. Let's fucking do this. John Saxon baby!

HOLY SHIT! Written and directed by Anthony Dawson!? That's the guy behind Yor: the hunter from the future! This is gonna kick ass!

JOHN SAXON! JOHN SAXON!

Dog exposion. Flamethrowers. Were off to a good start.

6 minutes and cannibals. Let the apocalypse begin!

You know its good when the music matches the blood drips

This guy is barkin up the wrong tree. He's so dead.

Lesson learned. Never leaves kids alone. They ruin everything.

OH! [Saxon totally took a bite out of this chick]

So far this movie is leaning towards cannibalism is a metaphor for eating out chicks.

GRATUITOUS NUDITY!

its not so much that that guy said, catch that son of a bitch, its the manner of how drunk he sounded when he said it [comment of the night]

Dirt bike biker gangs are not scary.

HAHAHAHA the guy with the shotgun agrees with me

"no good cock suckin son of a bitch, get the bastard"

John Saxon keeps walkin around like he's van damme. [this was the second time he showed up on screen in a towel or his underwear]

All these cops suck at being on time. They keep apologizing for being late

I'm surprised john saxons stare doesn't make my tv explode

That's a half a dozen now with bites. I foresee some serious cannibalism coming soon.

Part of me misses the days of landline telephones. The other part knows I could never twitter and talk about shitty movies

Ah fuck yeah! My fiance just brought me pie. I'm gonna cannibal the shit out of this [this was such an amazing thing that happened. She came down, handed me pie, we ate it together, and she left. No pause. Just love.]

I'm trying really hard to connect this as a nightmare on elm street prequel. I hope saxon lights someone on fire

Or perhaps a CHUD prequel?

This sudden lust for flesh is turning me on.

Alright. Payoff time. This chick just bit this dudes tongue off and bashed his head in with a rock. APOCALYPSE...NOW!!!!

The black guy rules [motherfuckers were had by everyone]

I think they made the cast suck on popsicles constantly so their tongues would be red all the time

I can't believe the director of yor directed cannibal apocalypse. This is actually pretty good. And competent.

Hahahaha they just hacked up some dude for take out

Come on saxon...theres fire right there. Use it!

OH SHIT! They're heading for the sewer! CHUD prequel wins!

That's right, sell it! Make me believe gettin shot hurts.

Wow this climax is awesome.

Nice twist. I like that ending.

I get it now. This is how 28 days later started. Fucking vietnam.

good movie! Tad slow but the story progressed nicely. Saxon ruled. Direction was good. Gore was short but amazing. CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE!