Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Bad Movie MegaTwitterthon 6/4/11: Introduction to Destruction

It was nearly a month in preparation, 2 weeks of solid announcements and reminders, over 30 grueling days of anticipation, but last Saturday it finally arrived. And we were all thrown into space.

This is what you missed if you weren't there.

Saturday was probably the most fun I've ever had on the internet and certainly the most fun I'll ever have on Twitter. (aside from Bad Movie MegaTwitterthon Part 2: Texas Blood Money of course [tagline complements of CG]) It was really a Mega-Event and I couldn't have imagined it going any better.

Well...maybe a better final feature. (But that's what booze is for right!?)

So my Saturday started out great. It was a beautiful Summer day. The temperature was just right, I got a lot of work done outside, and I talked my wonderful fiance into nerding out with us. It was about an hour before showtime when she finally said, "Fuck it, let's do this thing!" So we frantically made her a twitter account, got her all set up and ready to go. It was coming down to crunchtime and she mentioned that we should watch the first movie outside. Now, this was not what I had in mind for this thing. Originally I was going to set up my computer in my movie room downstairs and just sit through the whole thing there. BUT watching movie outside while tweeting about Far Cry sounded amazing to me. So after whipping this all up on the fly, we got started. AND we spent the first 40 minutes of the movie trying to get Twitter to work alongside the movie so we could see comments and watch the movie at the same time. It took some effort but we finally got everything running smoothly (and I was about 3 drinks in) and we were good to go.

The night went better than I expected. We managed to get someone to go along with the WHOLE night. Thank you @365HorrorMovie, you're awesome! Another Rummie friend of mine. I was hoping that the movies we chose would be just good and just bad enough for us to make rabid comments....and for the most part they were. Except for RetarDEAD. I spent most of that movie apologizing to everyone. It was terrible. But MONSTURD WAS SO AWESOME!

In the end, it was one hell of a night. We all made a big deal out of it, which I was excited to see. I loved how we all sat down and for the most part we all ate pizza, drank wildly, and ripped the shit out of these movies. It was...it was awesome.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some highlights from Saturday:

It's the psycho-reanimator music riff! Thank you, Uwe.
Introducing Bargain Tom Berenger and Bargain Angelina Jolie
Shh! I can't hear Emilio!
I sense a sequel: Far Cry 2: Emilio Takes Manhattan
I agree. This has been unacceptably boobless.

First shot down the hatch. Am I playing a video game? Oh shit its Uwe. Uwe is my master.
When your next role is a step down from playing Lex's wife on Smallville you are in an Uwe movie.
Where is my first person shooter cam?
He got the budget with the profits from Little Germany I am guessing.
Its itchy, I guess he needs to learn the art of manscapeing.
Seriously. Wheres my first person shooter cam? If we get Sega footage in House of the Dead we best get first person shooter cam.
Yeah thanks to I spy I will be switching from Jager bombs to Spider Bites. Uwe. You owe me a liver.
I am pouring out the rest of my beer in honer of Farcry.

so much awsome and its just starting
thats what ill be doing in the morning sleeping it off ...lol
itch better use protection to share the heat
this fat guy is epic win
i have to see this guys jazz hands
that is one big sawsall
plot line whales...oh where are the whales
in the honor of greekdome i call for more wine

Wait, an Uwe Boll movie? Is this even fair? :)
He's also a good cook and an excellent lover in additon to the killing skills
Yay for the meaningless loss of henchmen lives!
"I must also put my pee-pee in you, ya know, for warmth."
Remind me to check the MOST OBVIOUS spot ever for security cameras next time I break into a super covert army base
Her makeup holds up really well underwater, during gunfights, etc. Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's maybeline.
Places that rent cheesy soldier costumes must love it when Uwe is making a move in their town.
That wrap-around ending just forced me to drink straight from the bottle
F*ck it! I'm for the next one. that was fun.

I use extreme aspect ratios to make up for my lack of directing!
How do you do something this bad with this kind of budget??
LOL women can't cook!
lollolololo DANCE CAMP!!
Pick one guy up and beat the others with him!!!
Is there nothing buzzsaws can't do?
What does a whole Frappacino and half a bottle of Vodka = PARTY?

Yeah, I've got a bad feeling about this, too.
"Too good of a story to pass up"? I doubt it, Uwe.
Which is worse, making brainless monsters, or brainless movies? I'm looking at you, Uwe.
Is that budding romance I smell, or is it just the fish?
I wonder what the connection between Udo Kier and Uwe Boll is. Besides the 3-letter first name beginning with the letter U.
Whew, good thing there are turrets randomly placed everywhere.
Clothesline count: 5
You shouldn't make jokes about being rated 2/10 in your movie that's rated 2/10.

I see the reanimator soundtrack fits any movie
this movie is a far cry...from awesome
I want to wipe the shit out of that mans chin.
I see you have the ray stevenson brand of super soldier
this movie needs more explosions. Less dialogue
I really wish warwick davis would show up and wisk this movie to the hood
udo kier is shooting verbal bullets into my skull. Its awesome
shut up. Udo kier is talking
with all do respect...thats udo kier motherfucker. You do what he says. He says fuck a stump....you fuck a stump
that 2X4 is the best actor in this movie
the boat in thunder in paradise was better

Are we ready for bears in space?
...did I just see wang?
Nobody is tweeting because we're all too busy staring at those big meaty thighs.
Haha that baby had total "fuck you" look when he got splashed by the stagehand
Holy fuckballs, he just made ursa major
I'm having trouble suspending my disbelief.
Took at least 3 rolls of tinfoil to make that shield
That chariot is gayer than Charles Nelson Reilly, Rip Taylor and Richard Simmons combined

Twat O Clock.
Wow. Paper Mache meteors. I'm in.
I got one of those crowns at Burger King when I was dick high.
These solders don't take kindly to retroactive abortion.
did he just throw a bear into space? I can die now.
These scenes of bear action are more believable than a David De Coteau production.
Log into a planet. Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
I wanna see a Herc fight a shark. Second best Shark fight ever.
Was that Castle Greyskull?
What about A double rainbow? What would be there?
Must hit one click order on amazon app. Now.

this looks like my 2nd grand science fair project
this look like a cher music video
ooo shiny object my fav
magic pants dance... when is bowie sappose to enter
yes bear action
did anyone else watch the man bobbs shake
i like that in this movie all the men are in short skirts and the women are clothed
she just had sex with him with her eyes
its log log its better than bad its wood
not that i was expecting this to stay true to mythology but it totally does
wait somewhere over the rainbow = hell?
the labyrinth i new bowie was some where
rainbow bright was in charge of cinematography

Something about a bear being thrown into space has me fired up.
Bad guy logic is amazballs.
I watched TREE OF LIFE earlier today and now just watched Hercules chuck a bear into space. My life is complete.
I hope this movie is in the National Registry as a landmark achievement to be saved for future generations
At least the bear has something to scratch its claws on now.
Hercules is so lazy. Completely unnecessary use diverting a river.
i just did 100 pushups. Thanks Lou for making me feel inadequate with your God-like muscles.
Once again with the insane laziness. just do it yourself, Herc
Rocks are more reliable than horses for space flight. Everyone knows that.
Well, HERCULES was just about the most damn amazing movie ever.
Obviously, I'm in for the last one now. I can't let this triple-threat of awesomeness pass me by.

Oh yeah, bears in space, please don't disappoint, Herculies
Hercules! Space Android!!!!
Mech Hydra is small and swells to full size
where are the white woman at!?
I need to OWN THIS!
Chained and ready to be boned!!
WOW! That was wAY better than I expected!

The creation of the universe looked a lot like a disco dance party.
So did Hercules rip off Moses, or did Moses rip off Hercules?
Did Herc just agree to marry a girl without seeing her face? I thought he was deaf, not blind.

hercules is now!!! OH SHIT! THIS IS A CANNON MOVIE!! YES!!!!!
the neverending story could learn a lot from this movie
I'd violate her temple
wait is this hercules or jesus
the eels of fate
yes do it
I want to make sex with this movie so bad.
fuck yes...mechahydra is mecha'in me hard
herc just got power ranger'd
oh fuck, this movie just hulked out
that sword is so takei

I went out to get pizza so I officially have no clue what's going on
I am genuinely laughing at the stupid cops, so I'm good for now
Holy shit, I'm in love with the hot butch lesbian
I will accept either Hercules or breasts in an effort to improve this movie
I'm glad this was last, we might have lost people before we got to the glory that was Hercules
I started drinking at the right time, saved it for this movie

Lets do this. So does a retardead zombie like eating its own ear?
I'm not gonna lie. Off to a pretty awesome start. Can it keep up? I doubt it.
Worst job ever. Pecker Snot scraper.
I'm in for the Finnish. I got stamina like a ma fucker.
Jim Wynorski would roll his eyes at this.
Only 55 mins to get to tardead zombies. I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs.
It is importent to put yourself through a bad movie from time to time. Makes you appreciate the good ones even more.
We deserve a trophy.

Just hit play on RETARDED. This should be, um, interesting.
Uteruses are good keepsakes. Everyone knows that.
I'd rather lick semen samples off windows than listen to this sheriff guy act.
Taking a shot at Freddy vs. Jason. My what big balls they have.
First boob of the night and it's fake. FML
fell asleep damnit.

well the movie title says it all
Yeah, set the zombies free. Great idea!
Did you see a sign in my front yard that reads "Deat Zombie Storage"?
a priest a clown and 2 elderly people walk into a bar...
man with so much blood and gore you'd think this would be better
Well, at least RetarDEAD makes you glad it's over

I don't think I've ever had to wait for zombies this long...
They're trying to do grindhouse, but it smells more like outhouse.

Wow, more exploding helicopters. Wasn't expecting that.
An hour and 10 minutes into the zombie movie, and they just figured out they need to shoot the zombies in their heads. WOW.
I'm totally hatewatching this movie. All. The. Way.
Monsturd and Retardead both have awesome theme songs, I'll give em that.

I don't even know if well get thru retardead were all too wasted.
I'm sorry guys, next time we do this were picking a movie with nudity
what smells like shit? This movie....aw yeah
"pants shitting terror" hahahahahaha
oh fuck! Did I shoot this movie!? Hahahahaha
lsd ring at the elementary ah hahahahaha
"Masturbator terrorizes neighborhood" is the greatest news headline of all time
that dixsketch is horrifyingly accurate
"since when is watchin pornos and drinkin beers official police business" hahahahaha
is it wrong of me that I want to tap that zombie ass?
electric chainsaw MASSACRE
before you want to hate me for making you watch this....remember I made you watch hercules.
this puking scene rivals the taint hahahahaha

Be sure to check out everyone's twitter page and follow them!


  1. Hahahahaha such epic shit was twat that night! That was so much fucking fun, can't wait for Bad Movie MegaTwitterthon Part 2: Texas Blood Money. Looks like lots of my Hercules tweets are missing, oh well, Hercules must have thrown them into outer space. And one of my RetarDEAD tweets is listed under Hercules, but what do you expect, they're RetarDEAD! The fact that you saved that many tweets is epic, I didn't even think to do that, hopefully I'll remember next time.

  2. HAHAHA It was epic Twat! I can't wait for part 2 either, might have to wait til later this summer or early fall, but that's happening again.

    I didn't save any tweets, I just went through everyone's feeds and copy/pasted some of the better ones here. But I think Twitter fucked with me because I remember some tweets that weren't there..and some were out of order (like the one that I fucked up...but I changed it for you) I could have sworn you had more during Hercules but that's all that really showed up. But you can always go thru your stuff and post them here in the comments. I'll update the post then too.

    I think you're right though, Hercules probably DID throw them into outerspace.

    (We should watch Rumpelstiltskin for Part 2 if you guys haven't seen it. I'd watch that epic shit again. And some Tim Thomerson.)

  3. SO good sir. I am almost done with my overview but my 3 day birthday party overtook everything. Stoked for Texas Blood Money.

  4. I have to agree with you, that was definitely the most fun I've ever had on the Internet. Man, that Frappacino and Vodka kicked my ass!

  5. mmmmm....Frappodka. mmmm....

    I drank way too much that night. I hardly remember RetarDEAD. (I DO remember planning for another movie event instead of watching the movie lol) I just remember apologizing to everyone over and over. hahahahahaha