Friday, March 30, 2012

EPIC 80's REVIEW: The Wraith (1986)

Oh yeah, he's going in the Royale.

For me, The Wraith is like an old ghost story. I've heard so much about it but I've never actually seen it. In most circles, this movie is legendary. But for one reason or another, I refused to believe such as fact. Eh, it's just something people say right? I mean, how good could it be? Some alien dude, a cool car, Charlie Sheen, yeah that sounds pretty awesome...but I've been sucked into these situations before and come out crying. This can't possibly be...oh dear god yes it is...holy shit!''s...

If you like hot 80's cars, racing, Charlie Sheen, epic ghosts (see pic above), and gratuitous nudity then please stop reading this review and watch The Wraith immediately. I have to agree with everyone else here...this movie is awesome. Don't let me spoil it for you. Please...just watch it. I'm basically just going to be preaching to the choir because I'm 100% certain anyone reading this review has assuredly seen this movie. There's no way anyone is as stupid as I am.

Yep. That's Clint Howard there at 0:28 with an epic hairdo.

I....I....I....I'm speechless. What a fucking MORON I AM! AAWWDD, this movie is great. I have to admit something though. I know I've been putting this movie off...and I'll try to explain why. I never bothered to see the trailer, I just knew Charlie Sheen was in it. I was kind of annoyed with his shenanigans so I just was like, meh...whatever. And this movie is called THE WRAITH. And my only experience with Wraith stem from the TV show Stargate: Atlantis.

Don't get me wrong. These Wraith are awesome too.

I just wasn't thinking...ghosts you know. But...I've heard it was so good and I was drafting some choices for the 2012 Bad Movie Battle Royale so I figured...what the hell. Give the people what they want.

They just don't make movies like this any more. This movie is a defining example for why I love the 80s so much. Fast cars, fast women, nudity, a crazy plot, practical effects, short skirts, long legs, heavy metal, heavy hair, and RANDY QUAID!

Oh man, when I watched the opening credits and saw Charlie Sheen and Randy Quaid, I immediately thought that this movie was a turning point for putting actors into the loony bin. They're both off their rocker. But that's now. Not then. And they were awesome.

Take the opening scene for example. I knew IMMEDIATELY that I was going to love this movie. No explanation. No dialogue. It's just...


SPOILER ALERT! So the story goes something like this: This group of thugs (ooohh boy, I love 80s thugs) murders this guy whilst he's in the middle of boning his girlfriend. Only the girlfriend doesn't know that they killed him and the gang leader forces her to be with him. (This is actually discovered towards the end of the movie) Then a new dude comes into town (Sheen). He makes the move on the babe and the thugs don't like it. Shortly after, this fucking bitchingest rad car shows up so they decide to race it. The car pulls ahead, and forces a crash. This scenario happens TWO more times. And also, the car drives right into a barn which promptly explodes. Anyway, we discover that the dude in the car, The Wraith, is the reincarnation of the dude that was killed by the thugs and that he's come back to get his revenge and be with his girl. END SPOILER!

I did this 8 times while watching this movie.

The whole time I was watching this movie, I was just really digging the whole thing. The effects, the explosions, the racing, the girls, the music...oh man the MUSIC just kept coming. I've never really seriously considered buying a soundtrack I think I might have to. And all of this tied up in the end and I was taken aback at how nicely this movie tied everything together. They didn't explain The Wraith really but...who cares. He's fucking awesome. I was really glad to see that this movie put the effort into giving The Wraith a motive, a reason to do the things he's doing. And it wasn't even lame. I didn't really catch on until it happened...and I like it when I don't figure it out right away. It makes the movie more fun that way.

But I gotta tell ya, this movie ranks right up there with all the other greats from the 80s. Re-Animator, Aliens, Death Wish 3. Now, if this movie were made today, they would try to explain it more. Try to give it some kind of demonic history or some stupid shit. And it'd be PG-13. Hands down. And I would hate this movie. Charlie Sheen or no.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, then you are a bigger idiot than I am. And if you've already seen this movie (please forgive me and) watch this movie again. You know just as well as I do how great it is.


  1. I had never even heard of this film until now! I'll now go punish myself ny watching my copy of Ulli Lommell's Dungeon Girl...And then if I haven't slit my throat, then I'll hunt down The Wraith!

    Have you ever watched the tv show, The Equalizer? In one episode, there was a hilarious group of thugs! They attack a guy and his girlfriend, probably wanting to do a little 'Nail Gun Massacre prologue' to the girl, but when the guy is knocked over and hits his head against a rock (and soon dies), the villainous bastard thugs seem genuinly concerned about his safety!...And they even take him in their pickup truck to the hospital!...And they take the girlfriend along as a passenger! These guys are the most hilariously unintentionally wussy 80's thugs ever! haha!

    Also, as for Khooni Murdaa, I decided to get a review of it up now, not in May!

  2. The Wraith is awesome. I used to watch it on cable all the time when I was a kid, while imitating the thug who drinks auto shop products and says they've "got some kick!"

    - Cody

  3. Chris, I'm in shock here. I've seen something you've never heard of!? I never thought I'd be able to do that. I've been digging and scrounging throw huge piles of SHIT for something new for you to check out. I can't believe this is the one that did it. And actually...that's really awesome because this is one movie that you are going to get crazy for. It's epic in every sense of the word!

    I read you're review as well. Saw it last Friday, I can't remember if I commented or not but it was brilliant. I can't believe it actually exists. It's because of that, that I discovered a huge amount of Turkish ripoffs. I need to see them immediately!

    LBF: that thug rules. HAHAHAHA

  4. Turkish Star Trek is especially fun, because while most Turkish movies like that had very small budgets, TST's budget is actually comparable to that of an episode of Star Trek! So the effects were of the same quality as the series, pretty much!...Except America isn't a several thousand year old country, so it doesn't have cool ancient ruins to film at, only very stagey sets, so Turkish Star Trek actually manages to one-up original Star Trek! hahaha! And also, TST features Tourist Omer!...

    Most Turkish ripoffs are available via google video, but usually without subtitles. And the best place to get DVD's of Turkish ripoffs, as well as goofy and fun Turkish movies period, there is or was Onar films. It's a one-man DVD company that took the trouble to find these films, restore them as best it could, and include TONS of special features! Unfortunately the man behind Onar, Bill Barounis died a few months ago, so I'm not sure if it's still in production...

  5. That all sounds awesome. That sucks he died. I'll look into it. Thanks for the info!

  6. The thing I loved about this movie was the fact that AT LEAST HALF the budget was spent on destroying cars and buildings with gasoline explosions. Plus they filmed all the action in wonderful lingering detail. You really felt like you were right there with the sheriff as he investigated the latest smoldering aftermath left behind by The Wraith's vengeance.

  7. One of those cornerstones of my youth..great movie, with a high rewatchability!!!!