Watch this with extreme caution. And by extreme caution I mean VATS of vodka.
The Room. A movie so awful in its awfullessness that I can only express my deepest feelings with TWO DAYS worth of reviews.
I’ve had two separate experiences with The Room within the last month. These two experiences are my only two experiences with The Room. They each have their own story to tell so I will review this movie by exploring the results felt towards each experience.
Experience 1: Saturday May 28, 2011
Pain. Misery. Resentment. Sorrow. And large quantities of all of them. My eyeballs hurt. My ears were bleeding. Everyone around me was throwing mental knives at me for making them watch it.
And I don’t blame them, it was fucking terrible.
I brought this movie over to a friends place where about 8 people gathered around to watch it. We were all pretty excited about it after hearing how huge the cult following is behind it so we gave it a shot. So we started watching it and were immediately put off by the incredibly terrible pacing. It just dragged from one scene to the next. There was nothing coherent about it. Nothing FUN about it. It was basically like watching a sitcom with stupid dialogue and confusingly pointless characters. It just didn’t make sense.
So it turned into a rip on the movie while we talked about better things kinda night. Like how Denny’s haircut was straight out of the 90’s and how he had traveled through time to be in this movie. (GREAT observation from my writer in crime: Alcohol Paul) I also stopped everyone when I noticed an epic line was coming up from the YouTube clips I’d watched before. Not all that impressive considering the context.
Really, what the fuck was going on. I guess I understand the “badness” to it but what the fuck? IT’S. JUST. BAD. How is it that people are lining up in droves to see this movie? How is it that it’s always playing at the independent theatre downtown ONCE A MONTH EVERY MONTH and people keep showing up. WHY!?
I don’t get it. I really thought it was going to be one crazy movie that would be the next Troll 2 for me, but after we watched it…we vowed to never see it again. Or speak of its existence.
**
I felt bad. I really wanted to like it. I have friends that absolutely ADORE this movie. They love it in the way I love Troll 2. But I just didn’t get it. It didn’t make sense to me. But once we finished the movie I felt the need to watch it again. We (and by we, I mean me) missed a good portion of the dialogue and story (and lack thereof) and I felt that the awesomeness of this movie must live there. I had to have missed it, there has to be something so fucking crazy about this movie that people are going out of their way to see it over and over again.
I needed to know.
This is one of my favorite so bad it's good kinds of movies. The rooftop scene was one of the best: "I did not hit her, I did not, oh hi Mark."
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