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Hey Check it out! New banner!

This really needed to happen. I've watched A LOT of amazing movies over the past year and this really needed to be updated with some of those...along with past favorites.

(Also, I totally fucking lost my OLD banner when I posted the new one for the Netflix Instant Party. Fuck.)

But that's ok, it needed a facelift anyway. I somehow managed to get this one WAY clearer so I'm very happy with it.

Coming Soon: Hunters

This is all I got. I don't know anything else beyond this trailer. So in case you haven't met your quota of throat slitting today...here you go!

I don't know why I'm posting this or what the fuck this movie is about. But if this movie can keep a pace and has more kills like this...I'm game.

From the director/writer Judson Scott via the official website:

Hunters is a slasher film that was born out of my love for the horror genre. I love horror films so much that it’s nearly impossible to express in words. There are a lot of people out there that share this same feeling, and Hunters is for those people. This is a film inspired by new horror just as much as the old classics from the golden age of 80’s slasher flicks – think Inside meets Hatchet, built on a foundation of Sleepaway Camp and The Burning. If you’re familiar with these films, I hope that’s enough to get you excited. For everyone else, just know that there will be an enormous body count with lots and lots of blood. There will be no reaction shots followed by a cut to a wall with blood spraying on it. None of that. You’re going to see everything. We’re going into this not expecting to get an “R” rating.

The absolute number one priority with Hunters is to give the fans something to be excited about. Horror is not dead. There are still great horror films being made, and we are dedicated through and through to make sure Hunters will be another film to help progress the genre.

I hope you enjoyed the trailer. Know that this trailer is literally the tip of the iceberg. A lot of insanely talented people came together to make it happen. Please take a moment to check out their credits below. And if you’re planning on making your own horror movie, stay away from my crew. They’re mine!

Hello, hello. This could be interesting. Check out the official website for more information and concept art.. There's links to facebook and Twitter though. If you like what you see you can certainly keep up to date on this baby. I know I will be.

HUNTERS from HUNTERS on Vimeo.

Rubber (that movie about a killer tire) coming to DVD/Bluray

Thanks to a friend of mine (FUCKING THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH CG) I had the opportunity to view this movie. And it was awesome. It's bizarre (obviously) but it does something that very few movies do. I'll be reviewing this movie in full soon but for now I'll just have you know that this movie KNOWS that it's a bad movie. And I loved it.

Plus the tire has telekinetic powers that enable it to blow up things/animals/people's heads. Fuck yeah.

Rubber hits DVD/Bluray on JUNE 7, 2011. Save that date. Buy it. Love it. (In the meantime, it should still be On Demand for your viewing pleasure)

Mr. Gable's News and Updates!

Mr. Gable's Reality is spreading like a virus. It is possible that it could take over the world in approximately 67 years (if I stick to it long enough). YOU JUST CAN'T STOP IT!

But Bruce Campbell can...

That being said, big changes are happening here at MGR, all of them bigger and better than the last. First off...I've stooped to the lowest common denominator. It is with great displeasure and for your convenience that I announce that Mr. Gable...

...is on Facebook and Twitter.

I feel dirty. Like some kind of bad movie WHORE.

Click one of the above buttons to be directed to Mr. Gable's Reality elsewhere on the interwebs and by all means follow me. And tell your friends to follow me. It's gonna be better than the impending zombie apocalypse. And if you follow me...I'll tell you everything you need to know to survive.

(Stupid cattle, they'll follow me and while they're being eaten it'll give me a chance to get away MuWahaha)

Ooops...did I just say that. I didn't mean it, I swear. (suckers)

MOVING ON!

I am currently registered as an official writer (NOT Sex Offender) for ANOTHER blog. A very very sweet blog.

8-Bit Reviews. The greatest damn video game (and video game related) reviews from then and now you'll find anywhere else. It just got started so give it some time...it's picking up speed (and writers) very quickly.

It'll be great for me to step back and put my thoughts into something else every once in a while. Of course they'll probably be "bad" related...like my first post over there. I undertook the task to checking out Jaws on the NES. What a horrible horrible game. Please download it and play it. DRUNK. It's awesome.

AND FINALLY, THE TOPPING ON THE CAKE...

Introducing...for your bad movie review pleasure...

The Bad-o-meter 1.0. Bask in its pixelated glory.

I've always wanted to do a rating system with the reviews that I write and I also wanted something original and unique to me....so I invented the Bad-o-meter. A shitty little tool that will gauge the awesome badolity of movies.

Notice the Mr. GR stamped into each gauge. That's in case you try and fucking steal it I can....do nothing. But I'll tell everyone you stole it and they'll all glower at you angrily.

BUT LOOK OUT! Don't let the Bad-o-meter deceive you. This particular gauge runs on a rating of 0-5. NOT that pussy 1-5. I watch bad movies...and I review bad movies...therefore logic demands there be a ZERO. Because we all know that Batman and Robin doesn't deserve anything above a zero. So if I watch a movie so painful I'd rather rip out my eyes and never view anything upon this Earth again...you'll see the dreaded Red Gauge...OF DOOM!

Reading reviews with the Red Gauge of Doom is nearly as cancerous as the movie itself.

So there you have it folks. I have a great feeling about this year. It's already chock full of great bad movie news, great things are happening...

...and I've already received a couple screener copies of movies. 2011 is fucking AWESOME.

Attack of the Killer Turds! The ultimate shitty movie.

Just when you think they've done it all...along comes this. Attack of the Killer Turds! This film is currently in post production and should be available for sale very soon. From the official website:

Attack of the Killer Turds is a short film that is aimed at remembering the cheesy 80’s movies that some of us loved. It is full of childish toilet humor and silly fx.

Sure, a quick stop at the local fast food restaurant may seem harmless enough, but a mysterious contamination of the burger meat makes digesting that meaty goodness into a messy nightmare!

Sounds like just a short movie, I'd guess 45 minutes. But I'm ok with that, I highly doubt anyone could sit through 90 minutes of this shit! (hahaha) Whoever thought up this crap (zing!) is a real shithead (bam!). I think when this comes out, I'll be getting really shitfaced (ha!) and eat some Hershey's chocolate. (ok that one sucked). Poop.

HEY! This won't be all bad.

All joking aside, it actually looks pretty good. Check out the trailer below. It looks like a lot of fun and ridiculousness. I don't know how much they'll be selling it for and I doubt I would pay much for it but I would really love to watch it. I like what they're aiming for and I think they can accomplish their goal...their goal of making the greatest shitty movie ever!

Check out the Attack of the Killer Turds website for more pictures and behind the scenes footage!

ALICE JACOBS IS DEAD (starring Adrienne Barbeau) is on tour now!!

Adrienne Barbeau, you may remember her and her magnificent PG rated rack from Wes Craven's Swamp Thing, has a new movie! And it's a killer! heh heh heh. Well actually she's more of a zombie. But in any case I've been following this movie on facebook for quite a while and have been pretty excited to see it. After seeing present day Adrienne in HBO's Carnivale, she really still has what it takes as far as acting is concerned. I don't care how old or undead she is, I'd still run her up a stop sign and bone the living dead out of her.

And with that...here's the trailer!


Alice Jacobs is Dead - Trailer from Strange Case on Vimeo.


And if you live in any of the following cities you can see this wonderful film for yourself. In person. At the theatre. You might even get to meet Adrienne! Who knows. I certainly don't.

UPCOMING SCREENINGS:

ATLANTA, GA - Sat, Sep 4, 2010, 11:30pm Dragon*Con Short Film Festival
GETTYSBURG, PA - ADRIENNE BARBEAU in person! - Fri, Sep 3, 2010, 5:20pm Horrorfind Weekend
TULSA, OK - Fri, Sep 3, 2010, 12:00pm Oklahoma Horror Film Festival
SEATTLE, WA - Sep 17-19, 2010 Maelstrom Intl. Fantastic Film Festival
TUCSON, AZ - Wed, Sep 22, 2010, 7:00pm Arizona Underground Film Festival
CHICAGO, IL - Fri, Sep 24, 2010, 4:10pm Chicago Horror Film Festival
NEW YORK, NY - Sep 24-26 Coney Island Film Festival
LOS ANGELES, CA - Oct, 2010 Screamfest
SITGES, SPAIN - Oct 7-17, 2010 Sitges Film Festival
RICHLAND, WA - Oct 15-16, 2010 Tri-City Independent Film Festival
WORCESTER, MA - ADRIENNE BARBEAU in person! - Oct 15-17, 2010 Rock & Shock
ALBANY, NY - Oct 22-24, 2010 WAMC's Zombie Film Feast
SHEFFIELD, UNITED KINGDOM - Oct 22-24, 2010 Celluloid Screams: The Sheffield Horror Film Festival
PEORIA, IL - Nov 5-7, 2010 Drunken Zombie Film Festival
FOXBORO, MA - Sat, Nov 13, 2010, 3:30pm Killer Film Festival

You can find more information and lots of cool pictures at the official Alice Jacobs is Dead website.

Check out the Hatchet 2 Trailer and Production Stills

EXCITED!

Hatchet 2, I know its just the teaser trailer but it's got me pretty excited. Looks like they're gonna utilize Tony Todd more in this film. At least that's what they've been talking about for awhile. I'm really excited about that.

James Cameron talks shit on Pirahna 3D

And the douchebag award goes to...

I got this from Bloody Disgusting.com

Vanity Fair caught up with James Cameron to talk to him about Avatar and they asked him about the new Pirahna 3D. Here's what the douchebag had to say...

Vanity Fair: Was there any sense of nostalgia when the Piranha movie came out last weekend?

"Zero. You’ve got to remember: I worked on Piranha 2 for a few days and got fired off of it; I don’t put it on my official filmography," he explained. "So there’s no sort of fond connection for me whatsoever. In fact, I would go even farther and say that... I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but that is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3-D. It is a renaissance—right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3-D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3-D. Disney’s biggest film of the year—Tron: Legacy—is coming out in 3-D. So it’s a whole new ballgame."

And my response:

FUCK YOU JAMES CAMERON. It cheapens the medium? Horror INVENTED 3D. You don't see too many fucking romantic comedies that are big on 3D do you. DO YOU? You just took something that was a gag in the 70s and 80s and exploited the piss out of it for your movie. Avatar didn't need to be in 3D but boy did you cash in on that shit. I saw it in 2D and enjoyed it just fine. 3D was just a money grab buddy.


What about My Bloody Valentine 3D that came out last year? Did that cheapen the genre? FUCK NO. That movie catapulted all this 3D shit we have now. When they make horror movies, especially now, FOR the 3D then its epic. Now when "Disney" and "James Cameron" make a movie...then at the last minute put it in 3D to make money THAT cheapens the medium. Because of fucks like you EVERY GOD DAMN MOVIE is in 3D right now. It's so fucking insane that nobody wants to see them anymore. The prices are outrageous, our heads are ready to explode, and its just not fun anymore. Because of shitheads like you. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing Mr. Cameron.


3D should be a once in a while kind of thing. 3D films should be made specifically for the theatre. Not as a last ditch effort to make money. I'm sorry Mr. Cameron, I strongly disagree with your perspective on Pirahna 3D. Movies like that make 3D live stronger. Besides, you worked on Pirahna 2: the Spawning. That's a bigger joke on LIFE than Pirahna 3D is on the medium.

Movie: MONSTER BRAWL brings fights to the graveyard

This just in from Shock Til You Drop

MONSTER BRAWL! A free for all deathmatch between histories greatest monsters. On Pay Per View!! This is gonna be crazy. I'm keeping my eye on this. It sounds terribly awesome. I can't wait.

Here's what STYD had to say...

The filmmakers behind Scarce are going to be ringleaders of a Monster Brawl.

Dave Foley, Robert Maillet, wrestling vets Jimmy Hart and Kevin Nash, MMA ref Herb Dean and Lance Henriksen are participating in this horror-comedy shooting up in Ontario for Foresight Features.

The film depicts an action-packed fighting tournament set in an abandoned graveyard transformed into a brawling venue. Brawl promises to feature a roster of classic monsters, battling to the death in an explosive Pay-Per-View television broadcast format.

Foresight Features is producing Monster Brawl as their flagship film with plans to produce two features annually for the next five years. Their next feature, Exit Humanity, is set to shoot starting October 18th, 2010.

Oblivion is coming to DVD September 1st!!!!

WOW! Two big Full Moon Pictures announcements in one day!

Oblivion is finally making its way onto DVD! There's a movie in production right now called Cowboys and Aliens. It's gonna have to pull out ALL the stops to compete with this baby. Oblivion is one wild ride, front to back. There's cyborgs, giant Alien scorpions, Mr. Sulu, Catwoman, and outdoor ceiling fans! This movie is epic. So epic they filmed the sequel along with it: Backlash: Oblivion 2 - Already on DVD.

If you need any other reasons to watch this movie aside from the fact that THERE'S ALIENS and THERE'S COWBOYS then just take a look at the cast.

• Andrew Divoff (Wishmaster, Indiana Jones 4, TV's Lost)
• Meg Foster (Masters of the Universe, Leviathan, They Live)
• George Takei (Star Trek's Mr. Sulu) - Side Note: He improvises shit loads of Star Trek lines in this movie. It's Awesome.
• Isaac Hayes (Escape From New York)
• Julie Newmar (Catwoman from the 60's Batman)
• Carel Struycken (Lurch from The Addam's Family)
• Musetta Vander (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation) - Side Note: Wears a very seductive leather outfit and whipping everyone for 90 minutes. Actually 180, if you count both movies!

Buy this movie, it's really really amazing. You can read my review here. Check out Full Moon Direct for all the details on how you can own a copy of this amazing movie! And while you're there, you might as well buy the sequel.

You're welcome internet. Have a great day.