Thursday, June 16, 2011

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

How do you follow a really great horror movie filled excellent suspense, direction, special effects, and creativity? By not giving one single fuck. That’s how.

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies is exactly as it should be. There’s no way they could have topped the original. I’m glad they didn’t even try. They just took a similar premise and added RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME kills to make up for the rest.

Like: An inmate at a prison got fucked over by his lawyer so he wished that his lawyer would go fuck himself. Aaaannnddd…he does. HAHAHA

I’m just thankful they brought back Andrew Divoff as the Wishmaster. He’s just SO GOOD at being evil.

Wishmaster 2 starts out with a robbery. They knock over a statue and find the ruby inside and the woman robber inadvertently wakes up the Wishmaster. The girl escapes while the Wishmaster takes human form just in time for the police to arrive. He takes the wrap for the robbery and is thrown in jail. While in jail, he grants a few awesome wishes and then decides its time to leave. But this time, unlike the first movie, the Wishmaster needs to grant 1000 wishes so he can claim 1000 souls in order to open the gate to his world and release the Djinn eagerly waiting to inherit the Earth. So, with the help of a friend from the prison he goes to a place where he is guaranteed to get hundreds of souls EASILY. (I won’t tell you where because I honestly think this direction for the movie was absolute genius and I don’t want to ruin that for you) Then it wraps up pretty similarly to the first. This time the girl actually has it figured out by her second wish though, so I guess that makes her smarter. Or maybe not.

Wishmaster 2 is full of inconsistency and plot holes. It’s fucking swiss cheese man. First, the Wishmaster doesn’t even look the same. They redid the make up and outfit that he wears so it looks more…human.

I like men now.

 BAH! I liked his look from the first one. He actually looks more homoerotic in this movie. (Which actually carries on (worse) into the third and fourth films…which I will get to hopefully next week) Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a badass and totally fucking evil, but I just liked his thickness/broadness in the first movie. Secondly: The rules are completely different in this movie. The amount of souls he needs is different, etc. Pretty much most of what the first movie established was destroyed and changed in this movie. And the basic story kind hops along on kills rather than Djinn history.

And you know what? I don’t care. I like Wishmaster 2. I think it’s a great follow up. It actually can stand all alone as its own movie as far as I’m concerned. It had no chance, and it knew that, so it just went batshit crazy on itself and this movie is the result. Andrew Divoff still pulls of the Wishmaster excellently. He’s just so fucking evil, I love it. The kills are so over the top and crazy that they’ll have your head spinning. In a good way.

 Andrew Divoff: Wishing our souls to damnation since 1997.

Would I recommend it? YES. Actually what I recommend is the DVD 2-pack that has Wishmaster 1 & 2 on a double disc. That is all you need right there. There really isn’t any need to seek out parts 3 or 4. Although, I did. And I’m not very happy I did. Andrew Divoff is gone and what’s left is just…awful. More on that later.

But for now, the Wishmaster series ends here for me. Wishmaster 2 is a pretty fun sequel. It’s great for a Saturday night after a few drinks with friends and you’re looking for something to laugh at.


  1. You know what would've made this movie A LOT better? A soul counter at the bottom right corner of the screen, with a little DING! every time a wish was granted.

  2. Vincent, you're genius far exceeds my own.

  3. I haven't seen these in forever-- and of course the 1 & 2 2-pack is only on DVD from Netflix, while three and four are on Watch Instantly. Anyway, I agree on Andrew Divoff, underrated but great.

  4. LOL! Can you imagine the casino scene when the manager or whoever-the-fuck says something like, "The casino wishes everyone the best of luck."