Have you heard of The Taint? It's a pretty crazy movie. I blogged about it a few months ago. I own it. I'm happy I own it. It's not a perfect movie but there are A LOT of exploding cocks in this movie. (Here's the trailer of you have reservations about wasting a little over an hour on this movie)
(And also, this is a very adult movie. Just be forwarned)
Fourth of July weekend is coming fast and you know what that means: Epic Monsters eating people. Help celebrate the start of this amazing weekend with a week FULL of outdoor bloodening murderousness!
Feel free to participate in any way you wish: Quite a few of the above movies are on Netflix Instant ready for viewing. (Or fuck it, watch anything where men are getting eaten: Like Tremors or Carnosaur 2)
As for myself, I will be watching 4 movies contoured to 4 aspects of outdoor fun: Boating, Hiking, etc. So if there's any reason you decide to do any of these things over the Fourth of July weekend...you'll have reason to think twice. Then on Friday I will present to you a brand new pitch for the Maneater series. Something so amazing that SyFy is (probably) already salivating to make it. (That'd be cool wouldn't it?)
So get ready friends, Maneater week gets going Monday. Eat them before THEY. EAT. YYOOOUUU!!!
Get on over to Full Moon Direct and buy some stuff 4th of July weekend! Spend some money, get some money! Check out the promotional poster and details here:
If you use a previously issued Gift Card during this sale, you will NOT receive more free Gift Cards!
· Gift Cards cannot be used to purchase additional gift cards.
Purchases of Gift Cards during this sale will NOT be rewarded with another free gift card.
· Gift Cards will be issued and mailed to you with your order.
Buy $25 - $49 during the sale, get a FREE $25 gift card! Buy $50-$99 during the sale, get a FREE $50 gift card! Buy $100-$199 during the sale, get a FREE$100 gift card! Buy $200 or more during the sale, get a FREE $200 gift card!
Sale Dates: July 1st thru July 5th
That's a pretty sweet deal. Buy some stuff, get a gift card to buy more stuff later! That's awesome. Some things you may want to look into:
After “reconnecting” with Wishmaster 3, and subsequently being tortured by it, I was reluctant to watch part 4. The last time I viewed it was WWAAAYY back when it was first sitting on the new release shelves. ON VHS. (Shocking that WAY back is 2002 isn’t it?) All I remember from the experience is that the woman in this movie made all three wishes and that the third wish was pretty epic. I kinda actually remember liking this movie. (shudder)
So last weekend I gave it another go. Why not? Some things change, others stay the same right?
My feelings towards Wishmaster 4…stay the same.
It was good. I actually fucking liked it. It is no Wishmaster 1 or 2 by any means but it’s still pretty damn good on its own.
The first half of the movie is pretty much a copy of Wishmaster 3…which is a copy of Wishmaster 1. So a copy of a copy of a copy usually ends up looking like shit. And of course, the viewer (me), was dreading every minute. It was the same old story, same old formula, same old outline…but then something happened.
I got naked.
She made her third wish. The prophecy they’d been talking about for FOUR MOVIES had come true. Upon the granting of the third wish, the gateway to the world of the Djinn will be opened and the Djinn shall inherit the Earth.
One problem: The Djinn can’t grant the third wish. It is a wish for LOVE and a wish like that can only be granted by the grantor.
As dumb as that sounds and as dumb as it is to turn the Wishmaster series into a love story…actually fucking worked here. That wish turned the tables for this movie. The moment she made it, the look on the Wishmaster’s face, the utter incapacity to process that fucking wish is absolutely priceless.
The filmmakers learned their lessons in part 3 and brought us something watchable. Yes, parts 3 & 4 were filmed back to back so you’re probably thinking that they’re both pretty terrible. Now, maybe this is because I pretty much watched 3 & 4 back to back and ANYTHING, no matter what it is, would look infinitely better than part 3 but I’d watch part 4 again.
But don’t get me wrong, this movie is bad. The same ShittyDjinn from part 3 is back…looking terrible as he does. His lines in this movie have improved. The writer introduced a sword capable of killing the Djinn…even though they’ve pointed out SEVERAL TIMES throughout the series that the Djinn is eternal and therefore can not die. Imprisoned…but not die. The acting is about what you would expect for this film. Mediocre…about on par with part 3. There’s one sulking character that gets really old really fast. And unfortunately sticks around for most of the movie. The Ending....it is what it is.
And most of the continuity of the ALL the movies is kinda thrown out the window.
BUT there is a lot to love here. Aside from the amazing third wish, they introduce a “hunter.” So once the waker has said their final wish, a hunter is released (from where? I have no idea) to track down and kill the waker before the third wish can be granted. Which is kind of odd since I would think most third wishes could be granted almost immediately. But whatever, he had a sword so he rocked. Also, there was quite a bit of nudity, so that helped the first half of this movie. And the kills. There was more of them, they were gorier, and they got more creative. THANK YOU. That’s the point of the Wishmaster films. It has nothing to do with anything other than the Wishmaster tricking people into killing themselves in gloriously evil ways.
So in short, give it a shot. DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING. It starts out slow but it eventually picks up again. If you’re a diehard of part 1, I’m sure you’ll hate this movie but for what it was, I liked it. I’m glad I have it on VHS. (God, how I love VHS.)
I hope they decide to reboot this with Wishmaster 5: The return of Andrew Divoff. That’d be awesome. I was thinking about this: I’d like to forego the female lead like they’ve done in all 4 and have the Wishmaster meet an evil person. So the waker is some guy living in the ghetto that hates his life. So its Evil meets Evil. The first wish could be that he wants the Wishmaster to kill everyone that’s ever wronged him. The second wish could be some other kind of random chaos. Then he’d help the Wishmaster on his quest to gather 1000 souls. And then the dudes third and final wish would be to be a Djinn: AND then the REAL prophecy would be fulfilled and the world would be overrun with Djinn.
Wishmaster 3 is for all intents and purposes a superior sequel when compared to other part 3’s. (Shark Attack 3, Hellraiser 3, Spy Kids 3) Wishmaster does something that the first 2 Wishmaster’s only touched upon: The human psyche. What is it that compels our race to do the things we do? What is it that DRIVES our curiousity? Wishmaster 3 not only explains these things in specific detail but it also pushes the envelope on its answer.
Wishmaster 3 should be regarded as the “holy grail” of amazing cinema. There really is a lot filmmakers can learn from this movie. The pacing is spot on, one kill after another in graphic detail. The Wishmaster himself, although lacking Andrew Divoff, is actually quite a bit BETTER. His look is terrifying and he’s just so much more evil.
Is it tea time yet?
What the fuck am I talking about. This movie it terrible. FUCKING TERRIBLE. Those first 2 paragraphs are a rouse. A fucking stupid devious ploy to accurately demonstrate the all and out shittiness of Wishmaster 3. Wishmaster 3 draws you in by tagging onto a great franchise, maybe even a decent trailer (don’t quote me on that), but in the end it’s just a huge pile of DOLPHIN SHIT!
Oh, it’s awful. I love to hate this movie. WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY? What the hell. )@#(*(*(& (@*^@#&* /*#(@ (@&*&@!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME WISHMASTER 3! HOOOWWWW!!!???
Ok.
Let’s try this again.
Wishmaster 3. It’s like someone made a photocopy of Wishmaster 1 and just moved a couple things around. Oh and wiped monkey feces all over it. First off, there’s no Andrew Divoff. That man IS the Wishmaster. I can accept no less, no more. He is the alpha and omega of evil. Secondly, WHERE IS THE WISHMASTER!? Honestly, the actual “Djinn” shows up seemingly OUT OF NOWHERE (I.E. the ruby never split open like in the previous movies) in the first 10 minutes and then he really doesn’t bother to make another appearance until later in the film. I swear that actor was in the Djinn suit for a total of 5 hours on set. And who decided to make him look WORSE? WHO!?
The story is just terrible. It’s basically the first one except the lead woman is the woman from Final Destination 2. UGH. I hate FD2. and 3. and 4. and probably 5 when it comes out. BUT, that’s for another day. I can’t even tell you much more about the story other than it’s a carbon copy. And I fell asleep at the end. Actually I was more in and out cuz my brain was trying to escape my skull and hang itself so I had to shut my eyes to keep my sanity.
FML
The Kills. Where are all the awesome kills? There’s probably 3 kills in this movie. I thought he needed 1000 souls to open the gates to hell. What about the other 997 dead bodies? I want to see those. WHERE ARE THEY, SHITTYDJINN? WHERE ARE THEY!? And the kills that do happen are fucking awful. They cut away before anything awesome happens. This series is built upon the foundation of special effects artists. This is THEIR series. They own it. Where’s the mindless violence? AAAAHHHH!!
Don’t watch it. Retain your dignity oh bad movie viewer and skip this one. Apparently, parts 3 & 4 were shot back to back. That makes sense since the same ShittyDjinn is in that one too. And he looks even worse in that one. I’ve seen part 4 before and I kinda remember liking aspects of it. We’ll see what happens after I give it another go. But as for part 3…
Ah fuck yeah, we're already teased with the possibility of car rape. HAHAHAHA Oh wait! This is PG-13!? FFUUUUUCCCKKKK!!!
Synopsis:
Late one night a mysterious car is brought into the Chicago police impound garage after a deadly traffic accident. The garage's female mechanic, Tilda, and her young, hip fellow mechanics soon discover the car has a mind of its own: It morphs into different cars to confuse them, and instead of needing an engine to run, it breathes. It's a killing machine that is capable of outrunning and outwitting humans. In a high-octane fight to the death, it's our group of determined humans versus the car in this supernatural action-adventure in the vein of Stephen King's 'Christine' and 'Transformers'.
So, it's like Transformers...but awesome? I'm in. I think when they compare this to Transformers they mean that the car is actually pulling a The Thing on us. "It looks like a car but really it's a super hybrid space alien from Mars 13!"
We can only hope. Watch this:
(Vincent, if you're reading this: They totally ripped off your killer Zamboni machine idea.)
Oh well, it still looks cool. I would say this is along the same lines as a "Tremors" PG-13 flick. Not a Prom Night type of PG-13 flick. I'm getting the vibe that they just left out all the nudity and gratuitous cursing for more car rage and monster madness.
Actually, I'm getting a pretty good vibe about this movie. It's a crazy movie but this just feels like its going to be really entertaining. I don't know how to explain it but I'm pretty excited to see this one. Some movies hold themselves on nudity and graphic violence but THIS movie isn't doing that....so that just tells me we're in for a wild ride.
Or a complete waste of time.
I'm hoping for total DESTRUCTION! I can't wait. Also, did you notice the guy from the Mummy/Resident Evil movies is in this movie? I actually like that guy, that makes it a little more titillating as well.
(Written by Benjamin Carr: HAHAHAHAHA)
Look for Super Hybrid on DVD and Bluray August 23rd.
How do you follow a really great horror movie filled excellent suspense, direction, special effects, and creativity? By not giving one single fuck. That’s how.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies is exactly as it should be. There’s no way they could have topped the original. I’m glad they didn’t even try. They just took a similar premise and added RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME kills to make up for the rest.
Like: An inmate at a prison got fucked over by his lawyer so he wished that his lawyer would go fuck himself. Aaaannnddd…he does. HAHAHA
I’m just thankful they brought back Andrew Divoff as the Wishmaster. He’s just SO GOOD at being evil.
Wishmaster 2 starts out with a robbery. They knock over a statue and find the ruby inside and the woman robber inadvertently wakes up the Wishmaster. The girl escapes while the Wishmaster takes human form just in time for the police to arrive. He takes the wrap for the robbery and is thrown in jail. While in jail, he grants a few awesome wishes and then decides its time to leave. But this time, unlike the first movie, the Wishmaster needs to grant 1000 wishes so he can claim 1000 souls in order to open the gate to his world and release the Djinn eagerly waiting to inherit the Earth. So, with the help of a friend from the prison he goes to a place where he is guaranteed to get hundreds of souls EASILY. (I won’t tell you where because I honestly think this direction for the movie was absolute genius and I don’t want to ruin that for you) Then it wraps up pretty similarly to the first. This time the girl actually has it figured out by her second wish though, so I guess that makes her smarter. Or maybe not.
Wishmaster 2 is full of inconsistency and plot holes. It’s fucking swiss cheese man. First, the Wishmaster doesn’t even look the same. They redid the make up and outfit that he wears so it looks more…human.
I like men now.
BAH! I liked his look from the first one. He actually looks more homoerotic in this movie. (Which actually carries on (worse) into the third and fourth films…which I will get to hopefully next week) Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a badass and totally fucking evil, but I just liked his thickness/broadness in the first movie. Secondly: The rules are completely different in this movie. The amount of souls he needs is different, etc. Pretty much most of what the first movie established was destroyed and changed in this movie. And the basic story kind hops along on kills rather than Djinn history.
And you know what? I don’t care. I like Wishmaster 2. I think it’s a great follow up. It actually can stand all alone as its own movie as far as I’m concerned. It had no chance, and it knew that, so it just went batshit crazy on itself and this movie is the result. Andrew Divoff still pulls of the Wishmaster excellently. He’s just so fucking evil, I love it. The kills are so over the top and crazy that they’ll have your head spinning. In a good way.
Andrew Divoff: Wishing our souls to damnation since 1997.
Would I recommend it? YES. Actually what I recommend is the DVD 2-pack that has Wishmaster 1 & 2 on a double disc. That is all you need right there. There really isn’t any need to seek out parts 3 or 4. Although, I did. And I’m not very happy I did. Andrew Divoff is gone and what’s left is just…awful. More on that later.
But for now, the Wishmaster series ends here for me. Wishmaster 2 is a pretty fun sequel. It’s great for a Saturday night after a few drinks with friends and you’re looking for something to laugh at.
Wishmaster is a special effects guy's wet dream. The gore in this movie is only limited to the imagination of the people creating the effects. I don't really think there was much supervision when it came to the kills in this movie. I'm pretty sure the director just told his crew to go wild because that's what this movie is: WILD.
Like the opening scene for example, a skeleton explodes out of this guys body and then runs around killing people. That's just so awesome.
I've come for your women and beer.
Some people will argue with me on this, and that's ok, but Wishmaster is, in my opinion, a "Perfect" horror movie. What I mean by perfect is that I can watch this movie OVER AND OVER AND OVER and still enjoy it every time. Actually I think I enjoy it MORE every time I see it. I don't think I could ever get bored with this movie. (Some other movies I would consider perfect include Predator and Re-Animator) Wishmaster isn't perfect, no movie is perfect, but it's perfect for me. And that's all that matters.
I've always liked this movie. From the very first time I saw it up until my umpteenth viewing Sunday. It still shocks me how awesome it is. The effects are top notch, the Wishmaster is so fucking badass, and the CAST AND CREW: Oh lord the cast and crew. THAT is where this movie shines brightest (amongst B movie fans anyway)
Andrew Divoff as the Wishmaster (Lost, Executive Decision)
Robert Kurtzman (Director of Wishmaster, also an amazing special effects guy for tons of movies)
Peter Aitkins (writer of Wishmaster, also the writer of Hellraiser 2 & 3)
And finally, Wes Craven (Executive Producer of Wishmaster, guy that invented Freddy Krueger)
That's a long list. They space out each appearance so well too. It was such a joy to see Reggie Bannister and Buck Flower in the same scene arguing with each other. I love it.
Wishmaster (if you don't already know) is about an evil Genie. They portray them as a race of beings called the Djinn in this movie. They live in the plane of existence between Earth and Hell. One particular Djinn, the Wishmaster, is wrecking havoc on Earth. You see, when someone wakes the Wishmaster he must grant the person that woke him 3 wishes and upon granting the third, the Wishmaster can open the gate from his world to Earth and all the Djinn will take over the world. But a sorcerer traps the Wishmaster in a Ruby. (This is just the first few minutes of the movie.) So we fast forward to present day, a statue is broken that has the Ruby inside and a woman inadvertantly releases the Wishmaster. The Wishmaster spends half the movie granting wishes to strangers in exchange for their soul while searching for the woman that released him. (Which is really fucking awesome, not only because it paces this movie so well but also because the kills are so amazingly gory) Finally, he find her and more amazing things happen. I don't want to ruin the ending for you because the wishes this woman makes are pretty awesome.
It's ok to click that link. There isn't any major spoilers there. It's actually a FREE wish the Wishmaster first grants the woman to get the ball rolling. It's really awesome and actually shows just how amazing Andrew Divoff is as the Wishmaster and this scene portrays the general personality of the Wishmaster. He's like this the whole movie. If you like this scene, you'll like the whole movie.
Hey baby, when this is over, you wanna come over to my place?
I really can't praise this movie enough. (But I'll sure as hell try) The effects are top notch, the majority of them being actual practical effects. (Which if you know me, are the BEST kind) The CGI included here just enhances any practical effects they got going on. It's quite impressive.
This movie, even with its flaws (what movie doesn't have flaws?), is perfect to me.
