Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Camel Spiders IN YO FACE!

Far as I can tell there is no poster art for this movie here's a real photo of a camel spider for you. God damn it that's fucked up. I would literally shit my pants and probably explode from fear if I so much as saw one of those within a few feet of me. I'm crying like a baby when I spot a reasonably sized spider lingering around in the house...but one of way man.

But I have a feeling that picture is immensely more terrifying than this movie:

YES! I LOVE THE WAY THAT TRAILER ENDS. All movie trailers should end that way. Just some dude splattered in blood flopping around. This movie just MIGHT be worth watching.

I remember hearing something about Camel Spiders A LONG time ago. Maybe two years. I don't know for sure. But there was this really dumb trailer showing a POV shot of a camel spider roaming in the desert and then there's these army dudes that get attacked...and blah. It was dumb. Then I see that a new trailer came out and I'm all like...oh YEAH! C. Thomas Howell? He's in ALL the best shitty movies! And what ELSE do my eyes see there? Brian Krause? From CHARMED? That's awesome!

(NOTE: I only know about Charmed because of my fiance. She watches that show all the time. She made me buy the DVDs...and watch most of them. It's not so bad...Bruce Campbell was in an episode.)

UPDATED: Found the trailer I was thinking about. Not the same movie. There's actually ANOTHER movie about camel spiders. Holy shit. Check it out here.

Based on actual creatures that for years have tormented our armed forces in the Middle East, these things have invaded the Southwestern deserts of the United States. The Camel Spiders now freely hunt for prey, unafraid of any predator - including man. No place is safe; no one is beyond their paralyzing sting. In the end a small band of hearty fighters are forced to make one last stand against them.
Now I would just like to mention the director of this movie. Jim Wynorski. I have a lot of faith in Camel Spiders because of his IMDb profile. Allow me to share a few of his directorial credits with you: Chopping Mall, Deathstalker II, The Return of Swamp Thing, Sorority House Massacre II, 976-EVIL II, Ghoulies IV, Storm Trooper, Raptor (that movie that recycled the Carnosaur movies), Gale Force (that movie that used recycled footage from Last Action Hero), Cheerleader Massacre, and Dinocroc vs Supergator....along with several DOZEN softcore pornos: The Bare Wench Project, Cleavagefield, The Hills Have Thighs, The Devil Wears Nada, The Witches of Breastwick, Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade, and on and on and get the idea. This guy is fucking AWESOME. I desperately need to look into this guys career. Just this paragraph makes me want to BE this guy.

That being said...WOOT! Camel Spiders! IN YO FACE!!


  1. I have never heard of camel spiders and I wish I hadn't. I can't sit through anything that revolves around spiders. Unless it's that old YouTube video about spiders on drugs. That's goddamn funny.

    I call bullshit on your Charmed story.

  2. No bullshit man. But I can't say that I don't hate that show. But in my defense...there's nothing I won't watch.

    Plus...they're like mini-bad movies, with scantilly clad hot chicks that get sluttier each season.

  3. I would literally shit my pants and probably explode from fear if I so much as saw one of those within a few feet of me.

    Shopping list:

    - 1 camel spider
    - Mr. Gable's address