Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Bad Movie Battle Royale: Round 4 (FINAL)


Welcome one and all to the BAD MOVIE BATTLE ROYALE! Today we will see our final 2 fighters battling it out for supreme victory as Bad Movie Battle Royale 2011 CHAMPION! It's been a hell of a battle. We've seen disappointments and dominations. Now we see the top two fighters in the IRON ARENA. Panman, the no holds barred fighter from the west coast who murders people with Pans in hilarious ways. And TerrorVision, the giant trash monster from parts unknown that enjoys eating people in hilarious ways. These two fighters really had what it takes to get this far. Let's see which one is the REAL champion.

FINAL MATCH


They're heading down to the ring now. TerrorVision's music resonates over the speakers:

I listen to this song on a regular basis. How badass is that?

Any man that carries a scale to the ring means business.

TerrorVision started out as the fan favorite among many people but it kinda looks like the crowd may be turning on him. He's really been beating the shit out of people in the last couple matches. The crowd seems really divided by his actions.

Then again, Panman has an injury and when it comes to situations such as these...people like to root for the underdog. And speaking of...here comes PANMAN!

CRANK THAT SHIT! LET EVERYONE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

EVERYONE'S ON THEIR FEET! THE PLACE HAS GONE INSANE! PEOPLE ARE DYING FROM THAT BAZOOKA! THE ROOF HAS LITERALLY BEEN BLOWN OFF THIS PLACE! GOD BLESS YOU PANMAN!

For truth, justice, and the American way!

DING DING DING!


They're sizing each other up. Neither one is particularly interested in being the first to attack. Panman has a slight stagger in his step from that match yesterday but he otherwise looks fine. They circle each other, mentally wrestling each other.


TV advances. Shoulder breaker. Oh thank god, he's not going for that leg. Panman is up on his feet, OH SHIT! HE IS PISSED! He just threw TV out of the ring. He's taking this outside! He's climbing the ropes, he wouldn't dare....HE DOES! HE FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE.....AND MISSES! TV rolls out of the way. Panman is staggering, clutching his chest. TV is damned lucky he got out of the way, that would have been DEVASTATING.


TV picks up Panman. Back in the ring...TV drags him up...grapple...SIDE SUPLEX! This guy just never ends with the side suplexes. I don't think Panman is doing so well. He's holding onto those ribs like something is broken. TV picks up Panman and whips him into the corner. BIG HEADBUTT! PANMAN IS BLEEDING! OH DEAR GOD PANMAN IS BLEEDING! AND HE'S DOWN!


TV goes to the top rope. It looks like he's about to finish this. TV JUMPS....aaannnnddd.....MISSES! PANMAN MOVED! HOW DID HE DO THAT!? Panman is on his feet, it looks like he's gaining back some momentum. TV is up, he looks confused and shocked. Panman comes at him with the punches, left right left right. TV is backed in the corner. Panman retreats and charges the corner....AND MISSES! TV DODGES! OH DEAR GOD! He just rammed those damaged ribs into the steel corner. THIS IS INSANE!


TV gets the grapple, TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!? He has his special. He's got Panman on his feet...Panman is staggering...struggling to stand...TerrorVision...HITS HIM WITH THE TRASH COMPACTOR! THAT HAS TO BE IT! TV rolls him up for the pin...1....2....3!!!



IT'S ALL OVER! TERRORVISION WINS! TERRORVISION WINS! TERRORVISION IS YOUR 2011 BAD MOVIE BATTLE ROYALE CHAMPION!


Panman, if you're reading this. Please don't kill me.


That is all she wrote. TerrorVision, after one domination and several big upsets, is your 2011 Bad Movie Battle Royale Champion! It was a long journey for TerrorVision...and Panman for that matter. I was happy to see someone who had the long road take the win. Let's have a round of applause for your winner: TerrorVision.


And who knew? I certainly liked the movie, I thought it had a lot of power but I didn't think it had THAT much power. I was certain Orca was going all the way. Or Birdemic. But I knew Panman could do it. I was hoping for an Orca/Panman showdown. But TerrorVision vs Panman was equally as exciting. Obviously I stuck the injury in there for entertainment purposes...that doesn't happen in this game. But who cares? It was fun.

And speaking of fun...I would like to thank everyone who took part in the Battle Royale. What started out as a cool reason to watch movies turned out to be WAY more fun than I thought it would be. I loved creating the characters, creating their profiles. I loved reviewing the movies. And the Royale was a BLAST. Sitting here and watching the computer battle it out was actually like being at a pay per view or some shit. I loved it. And I will definitely have to do this again. Maybe even before year end? BMBR 2011 Part 2 anyone?


And I'd like to remind everyone to head on over to the Loser Bracket post and let your voice be heard if you want more of this Battle Royale. If 10 people want more, I'll give you more. If you're guy lost, this is your chance at redemption.


And another contest.

5 comments:

  1. This was tons of fun, even if R.O.T.O.R. didn't win. It'll be cool to see what you cook up for a part 2.

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  2. Man, I gotta stop betting on these things! I thought Panman had it for sure. Between this and Orca I'm totally cleaned out.

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  3. I feel the same way. I think...yep, in every round I had my money on TerrorVision's opponent. What a fool.

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  4. I loved Panman blowing the roof off with a bazooka, that was great!

    I think it was the theme song that ultimately gave TerrorVision the edge. TV FOREVER! WOOT!

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  5. Damn you, TerrorVision. Damn you all to hell.

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