Saturday, October 8, 2011

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Survival Log Day 8

Today sucks. Right now sucks. I'm fucking tired as shit. I was up at 5 am yesterday, got a quick hour nap in after work, stayed up until 2 am checking out the midnight premiere of The Human Centipede 2 (hilarious by the way) and I got 2 hours of sleep.

Need. More. Coffee.

I wonder if I wouldn't just lose my sanity this month but my personality too? Like, would I be some kind of badass coffee zombie by the end of this month? I really fucking hope so, that sounds awesome.

OH mystical, magical, ancient Bad Movie Roulette Wheel, PLEASE GUIDE ME TOWARDS MY FATE!

The Bad Movie Ro..Ro...ROULETTE Wheel.

It's like destiny loves Full Moon as much as I do.


Fucking freaks EVERYWHERE! I'll give this movie some credit, their freakshow kicks ass. There's a part bug/part man, a woman swimming in laundry detergent that can eat anything, some Kuato (Total Recall) ripoff, and a motherfucking midget. A midget of all things!

This movie's premise is pretty simple. A bunch of asshole's go to the circus and check out the freakshow. They piss off the midget ringleader and are given free passes. All of the freaks show off their stuff and soon one of them is missing. The freaks start converting these dumbasses and everyone is happy.

This movie's pacing could be better. I guess my extensive history with Full Moon has prepared me for this kind of thing, they do try to weave an interesting story: and a fairly interesting story it is, but in all honesty nobody gives one shit. I just want to see freaks killing folks in amazing ways.

It's a Fred Olen Ray movie. He's like the poor man's Charles Band. (That is both an insult and a compliment) I think that's why this movie fits right in with the rest of the Full Moon fodder, it feels like Band himself directed this. I don't know if Fred O. Ray will ever be able to outdue his Evil Toons but this movie isn't completely terrible. There's a pretty nice rack on this one chick. heh heh heh.

Nobody dies in this movie. NOBODY! Fucking waste of time. But the freaks are pretty cool.

Waste of time, all of it, a complete waste.


  1. Sorry I didn't mention this before but I am LOVING the roulette wheel! Gives a nice snapshot into your mental state :D

    Also, what the fuck? NOBODY DIES in Sideshow??!? I mean, how is that even possible? If assholes show up in a horror movie at least ONE of them gets killed, right? RIGHT??!??

  2. I started ticking off kills...but then they showed up later as freaks for the sideshow. Fuck me.