Sunday, October 23, 2011

THE MADNESS: HACK AND SLASH Week 3


This post is for the facebook game I'm participating in. This really doesn't have anything to do with any of my readers, I just need to post a weekly update of all the movies I've watched all week. But by all means, feel free to check it out. There's a lot of greatness going on here.


Strip Club Slasher
99 minutes
IMDb Rating: 2.8/10
Gable's Rating: 3/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: There's nudity, A character trips and falls while being pursued by the killer, the killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie.
Total Killcount: 11
Review: I give it a 3/10 because there's a lot of nudity in this movie...but it still manages to suck. 

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
88 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.5/10
Gable's Rating: 5/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: This movie takes place on Halloween, This is a sequel 4 or higher, the killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie.
Total Killcount: 12
Review: I give it a 5/10 because I had seen this movie a long time ago and thought it was pretty terrible. Watching it now...not entirely as bad as I remember. Better than Resurrection that's for sure.

Halloween: H20
86 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.4/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: This movie takes place on Halloween, it's a sequel 4 or higher, and the killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie.
Total Killcount: 7
Review: I give it a 7/10 because I've always liked this movie. I think it's a fun little slasher. I see it as the Bride of Chucky of the Halloween series.

Halloween: Resurrection
94 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.9/10
Gable's Rating: 1/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: This movie takes place on Halloween, it's a sequel 4 or higher, and the killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie.
Total Killcount: 11
Review: I give it a 1/10 because this movie can suck my taint.

Mammoth
90 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.9/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: There are none.
Total Killcount: 6
Review: I give it a 10/10 because this movie is a lot of fun. There's aliens and secret government officials and there's a killer mammoth on the loose and there's SUMMER GLAU and TOM SKERRIT! FUCK YES!

Don't Go in the House
82 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.1/10
Gable's Rating: 8/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: There's nudity, a person trips and falls while being pursued by the killer.
Total Killcount: 5
Review: I give it a 8/10 because this movie is AMAZING. A psycho killer (like Norman Bates) brings women home so he can strip them down, tie them up, and torch them with a flame thrower. That spells win! If they would have had one more kill between his first killing and the finale I would've given it a 10 but it just kinda fell flat for awhile.

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer (the movie, not the show)
86 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.3/10
Gable's Rating: 9/10
Bonus Points: None.
Total Killcount: 2 (that I could see, probably more)
Review: I give it a 9/10 because I've always loved this movie. Joss Whedon is awesome. And so is Kristy Swanson. I give it a 9 because they killed Donald Sutherland far too early. Plus Paul Reuben is in this. That's fucking awesome! "You just ruined my new jacket, KILL HIM A LOT!"

Curse of the Zodiac
82 minutes
IMDb Rating: 1.3/10
Gable's Rating: 0/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: none. FUCKING NONE!
Total Killcount: 8
Review: I give it a 0/10 because you will get cancer from watching this movie.

High Plains Invaders
85 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.0/10
Gable's Rating: 8/10
Bonus Points: A character trips and falls, and someone says that they'll be right back.
Total Killcount: 9
Review: I give it a 8/10 because I love the maneater movies. This is just another in a long line of amazing maneater movies.

Zombie Nation
81 minutes
IMDb Rating: 1.6/10
Gable's Rating: 1/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: there's nudity.
Total Killcount: 4
Review: I give it a 1/10 because this movie blows. Not any fun at all. I also call it a slasher movie because 75% of the movie is a slasher movie. Some dude killing chicks. Then at the end they come back to get their revenge.

Night of the Creeps
88 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.6/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: There's nudity, stars Tom Atkins 
Total Killcount: 5
Review: I give it a 10/10 because this movie is perfect. This is one of my favorite movies of all time.

The Evil Dead
85 minutes
IMDb Rating: 7.6/10
Gable's Rating: 9/10
Bonus Points: There's nudity, stars Bruce Campbell, a character trips and falls while being pursued by demons, and the final girl is a guy. (You can't kill Bruce)
Total Killcount: 3
Review: I give it a 9/10 because the only thing better than Evil Dead 1 is Evil Dead 2.

The Bloody Ape
77 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.5/10
Gable's Rating: 8/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: there's nudity.
Total Killcount: 11
Review: I give it a 8/10 because there's an ape on the loose and he's murdering everyone. I call it a slasher because if it wasn't an ape, you wouldn't ever know that it isn't a slasher. He slits throats and axes people. HAHAHAHA

Rest in Pieces
90 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.6/10
Gable's Rating: 5/10
Bonus Points: There's nudity.
Total Killcount: 7
Review: I give it a 5/10 because this movie is ok. I was glad I watched it but I never need to see it again.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (remake)
95 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.1/10
Gable's Rating: 2/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: A character trips and falls while being chased by Freddy, someone says it's going to be alright.
Total Killcount: 6
Review: I give it a 2/10 because this movie fucked up everything. They took the molester angle. Fuck you. If they would have just tried to be original with it, it could have been better. Don't try to recreate iconic scenes: freddy in the wall, the chick getting tossed around in the bedroom and sliced, and even the bathtub scene. All wrong.

Halloween (1978)
91 minutes
IMDb Rating: 7.8/10
Gable's Rating: 8/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: Takes place on Halloween, Killer's face is obscured, Nudity, Someone says I'll be right back, AND someone trips and falls while being pursued by Myers.
Total Killcount: 3 (I think)
Review: I give it a 8/10 because I liked part 4 better. The original Halloween is very iconic, that goes without saying. Just takes a little long to get to anything good. Still amazing. I love how relevant this movie was back in the day and just how relevant it still is. Timeless.

Friday the 13th (2009)
97 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.5/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: the killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie, there's nudity (an amazing amount of it too!), The title is a specific date, produced by Sean S Cunningham.
Total Killcount: 14
Review: I give it a 7/10 because the first time I saw this I didn't like it all the much but viewing it now it was kinda fun. Way better than ANOES remake and anything New Line Jason related. Just mindless violence. Didn't care for the tunnels though.

The Manitou
104 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.7/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: there's nudity.
Total Killcount: 2
Review: I give it a 10/10 because a woman has a tumor on her back and it turns out to be the fetus of a native american indian being reincarnated. Fuck yes!

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (I say it counts because there's aliens and it's a story akin to Moby Dick and there's those ear creatures that control your mind)
113 minutes
IMDb Rating: 7.7/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: None. Unless you want to count the Enterprise limping away from the Reliant as a character tripping and falling. HAHAHAHAHA
Total Killcount: I didn't count. I just love this movie.
Review: I give it a 10/10 because Star Trek fucking rules. Khan forever!

Monster High
84 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.0/10
Gable's Rating: 5/10
Bonus Points: there's nudity.
Total Killcount: 6
Review: I give it a 5/10 because this movie is out there. It's pretty sweet but it isn't for everyone.

Halloween II (1981)
92 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.3/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: Killer's face is obscured, Takes place on Halloween, there's nudity, and a character trips and falls while being pursued by Myers
Total Killcount: 10
Review: I give it a 10/10 because I loved this movie. I loved the intro and how seamlessly it tied into the original. I loved the higher kill count, the gore, everything kicked ass.

Halloween (2007)
109 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.0/10
Gable's Rating: 8/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: The killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie, Takes place on Halloween, there's nudity, and a character trips and falls while being pursued by Myers.
Total Killcount: 13
Review: I give it a 8/10 because the first time I watched this movie I really didn't care for it. Watching it now...I was really really into it...for the first hour and a half. I really enjoyed it because of the constant barrage of B movie stars with little roles. Richard Lynch, William Forsythe, Danielle Harris (NAKED!!!!), Danny Trejo, Ken Foree. But unfortunately, the last half hour of fucking irritating Laurie Strode SCREAMING ruined everything. She it just so fucking annoying.

PODCASTS!
I listened to the GREATEST MOVIE EVER! PODCAST this week. Here's a list of the episodes:
  • Against the Dark (28 min)
  • Alligator (27 min)
  • Arena (26 min)
  • Alien vs Predator (24 min)
  • The Beast Must Die (23 min)
  • Ernest Scared Stupid (21 min)
  • The Guyver (28 min)
  • Re-Animator (32 min)
  • Santa's Slay (19 min)
  • Troll 2 (35 min)
Total time listened too: 263 min or 4.38 hours.

No comments:

Post a Comment