I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I actually got a decent amount of sleep. But now...Now I feel like I should call in to work sick and spend the rest of the day crying.
I feel sick. HONEST TO GOD SICK. Ulli Lommel is the worst human being in films. He is doing things to me right now that I never thought possible. I want to put my fist through a wall. I hate myself for ever thinking this was a good idea. Ulli Lommel, I can't stand you.
OH MY GOD this movie never ends. If you want a seizure, watch this movie. There are constantly quick flashes over and over and over and it does absolutely nothing.
nothing
nothing
nothing.
This movie is 30 percent story and 70 percent some dude over dubbing nonsense. I guess the zodiac killer is supposed to be on a phone talking to someone, harassing them. But he's not talking. Maybe its all in his head? Maybe he's supposed to be some telepathe? I don't fucking know. He just keeps rambling on about Fat Fuck, Pretty Girl, Pretty Face, Hippy Girl, all these pet names for people he wants to kill.
UH fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck.
I think that's the sound the Fuck Train makes as it comes into town to ruin my life.
Ulli Lommel, stop making movies. You have zero talent. You can't write. You can't direct. Your movies are unbelievably slow and painful. Whatever emotion your trying to make your audience feel turns to rage over how terrible you are.
I never thought I'd be calling out someone like that but this is just unforgivable. Ulli Lommel is fucking rancid.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I find reactions to Ulli Lommell films HILARIOUS! As I rightfully should, since I've willingly subjected myself to EVERY. SINGLE. BIT OF CELLULOID that Ulli Lommel has made. Sooooooo...what can I tell you about his other films? There's a high probability of Curse of the Zodiac looking like Midnight Run compared to his others!
ReplyDeleteAs for Zodiac, did you notice a character called **checks IMDb** Willie Harman? I ask because he's played by the great Gunther Ziegler, who was the star in another Lommell film, Zombie Nation, where he was a lot of fun playing a crooked L.A./Alabamian/Austrian cop. So what were your thoughts on him assuming you remember the character?
You are better than I. I don't know what to do with myself if I have to endure another Lommel movie. But people keep referenceing Zombie Nation so I might have to give it a go.
ReplyDeleteAnd you make a good point there. After watching this, I think I would take great joy in hearing the pain of other people having to watch it too.
**double checking IMDb** Willie Harman is actually a character in Zodiac Killer, ANOTHER Zodiac movie from Lommel made 2 years prior to Curse of the Zodiac. Zodiac Killer also has the AKA name of Curse. WOW. Fucking WOW. Here's the one I watched:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1033472/
There's a high probability of Curse of the Zodiac looking like Midnight Run compared to his others!
ReplyDeleteThat is the fucking scariest thing I have read in a year.