Saturday, October 22, 2011

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Survival Log Day 22

I think I'm a Bad Movie Zombie. I am sitting here in an emotionless state watching the greatest movie ever and all I can think about is A Gnome Named Gnorm. I really fucking want to watch that shit. I can't believe Stan Winston directed that amazing piece of cinema. But if I'm going to be a bad movie zombie I'm going to have to be awake all the time. No sleep. I wonder where a guy can make himself a zombie. Do I need to be bitten by another Bad Movie Zombie or can I just inject myself with some venom? Perhaps this Hot Sauce would do the trick? Can any of you hook a brother up?

I really wish my name was Mr. Armageddon.

Who here has seen Space Jam? It's that Looney Tunes/Michael Jordan collaboration where there are aliens that try to take over the Earth (I think) and it's up to a game of basketball to decide the fate of the world.

That's what Monster High is about except with no actual basketball players and the cartoon characters are monsters created by the diabolical Mr. Armageddon.

At first when you're watching this movie, you pretty much could swear you just dropped a bag of mushrooms. There's just no congruence or any sense of "story" or sanity. Crazy shit just keeps happening. And tits, TITS EVERYWHERE!

So a couple aliens, Doom and Gloom, steal a crate supposedly containing a doomsday device. In their escape, they travel to Earth. Also, there's this Head Monster overlord getting blowjobs and trying to destroy Earth...but he can't until the doomsday device has been recovered. On Earth, it turns out the doomsday device is a guy named Mr. Armageddon. He turns everything on campus into a monster and plans on taking over the world. Well after some shit happens, the humans challenge the fate of the world on a basketball game....which they win. And that's about it.

Be high when you watch this. Be drunk when you watch this. Watch it with people and get ready to laugh. There are a FUCKLOAD of stupid stupid jokes but they are so eye rollingly bad that you will laugh. If you take this movie seriously, you're a moron. It's just ridiculous. And awesome.

Or is it?


  1. This looks like tons of fun. I've been meaning to see it. And I love your images you've had in your posts throughout this process.