Sunday, October 9, 2011

THE MADNESS: HACK AND SLASH Week 1


This post is for the facebook game I'm participating in. This really doesn't have anything to do with any of my readers, I just need to post a weekly update of all the movies I've watched all week. But by all means, feel free to check it out. There's a lot of greatness going on here.

Sunday, October 2

Nailgun Massacre
85 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.8/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: This movie has gratuitous nudity, the killer's face is obstructed for 85% of the film, and someone says, "It'll be alright."
Total Killcount: 15
Review: I give it a 10/10 because I need to show this to everyone. It's so amazing in its badness that it's like a whole new Troll 2. Fucking great.

Stakeland
98 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.6/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: None.
Total Killcount:14 (humans)
Review: I give it a 10/10 because this movie is amazing. It's good to sit down to a really good gorefest.

Army of Darkness
82 minutes
IMDb Rating: 7.5/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: None
Total Killcount: 9 (that I saw, I drifted out for 5 minutes in the middle)
Review: I give it a 10/10 for obvious reasons. It's fucking Army of Darkness. You all need to own this movie. I've seen it a hundred times. GREAT time.

Prom Night (1980)
89 minutes
IMDb Rating: 5.1/10
Gable's Rating: 4/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. There's a buttshot/some nudity, the killer's face is obstructed for 85% of the film, and the movie takes place on a specific date. PROM NIGHT!
Total Killcount: 8
Review: I give it a 4/10 because I honestly didn't like it. The whole time I was watching it I was like: I'm glad they remade this. There's nobody other than the people that enjoyed it during it's time that are going to be dying to see this movie. Don't get me wrong, great slasher, lots of kills...just very dated. It's DISCO dude.

Monday, October 3

Screamtime (slasher anthology)
89 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.5/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. There's some nudity.
Total Killcount: 8
Review: I give it a 7/10 solely for the dudes between the anthology stories. HOLY SHIT they're awesome. The stories aren't half bad either.

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II
97 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.9/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. This movie takes place on a specific date. PROM NIGHT
Total Killcount: 6
Review: I give it a 7/10 because this is actually a very entertaining movie. Mary Lou comes back from the dead to get some revenge. Awesome.

Tuesday, October 4

Slash
93 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.1/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. This is a foreign made movie. (south africa) Automatic TRIPLE BONUS. The killer's face is also obscured for 85% of the film.
Total Killcount: 8
Review: I give it a 7/10 because this is a nice little slasher movie. Mostly mindless and fun. There's a lull in the middle that could have been better but for the most part enjoyable.

Wednesday, October 5

Drive Thru
83 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.4/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. The killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie. At the end a main character misses an opportunity for a double tap to kill the killer.
Total Killcount: 11
Review: I give it a 7/10 because this movie is a fun little ridiculous slasher about a dude in a clown outfit murdering people at a fast food restaurant. I'd give it a 8 or 9/10 but they tried too long for a story.

Trick 'R Treat (anthology)
82 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.9/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER/MONSTER MOVIE. There's nudity, someone runs and trips as they run away from the killer.
Total Killcount: 23
Review: I give it a 10/10 because this movie is perfect. Perfect HALLOWEEN movie is you're looking for something this Halloween to get you in the mood. So fucking awesome.

Butchered
70 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.1/10
Gable's Rating: 2/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. There's nudity. Someone trips and falls as the killer pursues them
Total Killcount: 11
Review: I give it a 2/10 because this movie sucks. That's just the long and short of it.

Prom Night III: The Last Kiss
97 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.9/10
Gable's Rating: 10/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. There's nudity, and this movie takes place on a specific date. PROM NIGHT
Total Killcount: 4
Review: I give it a 10/10 because this movie is AWESOME. Mary Lou returns and now she's a lover of this guy and she keeps killing people to protect him. It's just a whole lot of ridiculous fun.

Thursday, October 6

Fraternity Massacre at Hell Island
80 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.9/10
Gable's Rating: 2/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE. Killer's face is obscured for 85% of the movie, a character slips and falls while being chased by the killer, there's nudity.
Total Killcount: 17
Review: I give it a 2/10 because this movie is terrible. Don't give it any more time then you need to. Which is zero.

The Rite
114 minutes
IMDb Rating: 6.0/10
Gable's Rating: 6/10
Bonus Points: This movie has Rutger Hauer! That do anything for me? That guy rules.
Total Killcount: 3
Review: I give it a 6/10 because it's a pretty decent movie. Slow going but fairly enjoyable. Exorcism movies usually are.

Friday, October 7

HorrorVision
72 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.5/10
Gable's Rating: 3/10
Bonus Points: There's nudity and the Final girl is a guy.
Total Killcount: 4
Review: I give it a 3/10 because this movie is terribly underbudget. The end boss is awesome but other than that....meh.

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil
95 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.8/10
Gable's Rating: 5/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: There's nudity, a character trips and falls while being pursued by the killer, and it takes place on a specific date: PROM NIGHT
Total Killcount: 9
Review: I give it a 5/10 because it's a pretty standard slasher. There's some coolness at the end when the killer is lit on fire and explodes. But mostly I like this movie because it stars Nicole de Boer. Fucking love her.

Human Centipede II: The Full Sequence
90 minutes
IMDb Rating: 4.5/10
Gable's Rating: 7/10
Bonus Points: SLASHER MOVIE: There's nudity.
Total Killcount: 17
Review: I give it a 7/10 because it's ass to mouth part 2 AND it's a vast improvement over part 1. I thought the pacing was way better, even though its more or less the same movie, but still...I liked it. Sick movie.

Saturday, October 8

Sideshow
90 minutes
IMDb Rating: 3.2/10
Gable's Rating: 5/10
Bonus Points: There's nudity.
Total Killcount: NONE.
Review: I give it a 5/10 because it's a Full Moon movie. It has elements of it that are good and elements that are bad. More bad than good. Still liked it but its rewatchability is low.

1 comment:

  1. Nice start to the competition! I watched Stake Land last month and agree with you.

    ReplyDelete