Thursday, October 27, 2011

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Survival Log Day 27

Fucking SHOWGIRLS 2 MAN! That's going to be fucking awesome. The gal that starred in the first one wrote/directed/and stars in this sequel. And it looks fucking awful. It will be the peak of badness this year, I have no doubt. It'd better come to fucking theatres. If The Room can play at the theatre every month then this movie can slip in for a showing. It will be amazing.

What is wrong with me?

October. You're doing things to me I never thought possible. Thank you!


Fun filled vacation my ass. This is awful. Bad for you. Bad for me. Bad for everyone.

This movie just lacks in everything. When there is a cool part, it's over pretty quick and then we're back to shit. If this movie had more of what was in its title, then everything would be wonderful. More zombies. More of the island. More Massacres. ALL OF IT. DO MORE!

Attention all low budget Slasher filmmakers: Nobody cares about your characters. Make ONE likable/relatable character. All your audience wants to see is bloodshed and boobs. Give them that and do that decently and you'll be well on your way to the horror movie hall of fame.

This movie does do one thing right. There are a couple of nice boob shots. The movie opens up with a shower scene. That was a wise decision. Not only did it get me pumped up for the rest of the movie, it instantly grabbed my attention for an otherwise bad movie experience.

The story far as I can tell (I was a little distracted by Showgirls 2 this morning) is that this group of people goes to an island for some relaxation. They participate in a voodoo ritual. It's supposed to be for show but it ends up FOR REAL. (This is the part I missed on, it could have been a completely different ritual but it doesn't matter) So these people think there's a zombie after them, trying to kill and eat them. So they run away, end up in one place for entirely too long, get attacked, stay where they were attacked, don't really ever bother to prepare themselves for the next confrontation, and meet up with a rickety old big game zombie hunter.

But, upon further thought, I think someone should make a porn parody. THAT would be good. The hardcore sex would fill up the stretches between killing instead of pointless dialogue. Zombie Island Maxxacore? Maybe, give your suggestions below.

I wished the Triple B-o-D would have decided on Blood Hook instead. These movies are on a triple pack of movies I own. It's nice and all but this is the only one I didn't care to watch. Oh well, I guess this is as good a reason as any to get rid of it. Now I'll never have to watch it again!



  1. I'm betting the the trailer for ZOMBIE! ISLAND! MASSACRE! was A LOT better than the movie itself. I know I sure enjoyed it : )

    And, dude, I sincerely hope you're saner than Complete Double Rainbow Guy. That got a little intense there for a moment!

  2. Showgirls 2 will be awesome! Can't wait!