Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Survival Log Day 26

The light in the tunnel grows more rainbowish with each passing day. The pumpkin on the roof is laughing at me. I talk to big blue bowls. I punch imaginary clowns (cuz they deserve it) and worship at the alter of Atkins. Sleep is relative. Badness is life. Lead the churches to the answer. The one and only true answer. Ulli Lommel.

Resistance is Futile.


Psychologists, listen up! To understand madness is to watch an Ulli Lommel movie. To help out your clients, you NEED to rent these movies. Analyze them...if you dare. Analyzing a Lommel movie MAY drive yourself insane. But if you survive will live forever.

That brings us to The Devonsville Terror.

I somehow owned this movie for a long time and never knew it was an Ulli Lommel movie. That's a good thing. I wonder how many other phantoms there are hiding in there. Once I found out that I owned one, I nearly cried. I had hoped that my Lommel torture was over and I could enjoy the rest of the Halloween season. WRONG.

This movie is different than the ones I've watched because the ones I've watched are current movies from the last decade. The Devonsville Terror is from 1983. Knowing that, I went into this movie open minded. Maybe somewhere down the line, he drove himself mad and now that's all that is left for him to shoot.

The Devonsville Terror is about the town of Devonsville. 300 years ago, the town burned three women they believed to be witches. Now, the town is still overly religious and a new woman has moved into town. Shortly after some evil things happen and the town starts to believe that this woman is the reincarnation of those three witches all that time ago.

This movie isn't as shittastic as the other 3 Lommel movies I watched. This one is fairly interesting and has a lot to love about it. It's not the greatest movie ever and personally, I'm not a huge witch fan. If you dig old witch stories, then I'm certain you'll like this movie. Also, that creature on the cover makes an appearance.

What to love: They set witches on fire. That's awesome. The best one was they strapped a witch to a wagon wheel. They set the wheel on fire and then rolled the wheel down a hill. HAHAHAHA

And at the climax of the movie, three guys are quickly disposed of in a fucking awesome manor. All three involve their heads and axes/explosions/and melting. It was awesome.

As for the story, it's fairly simple. Just an old witch burning and some religious nuts looking to keep witches out of their town. They get their comeuppance and that's why it's awesome. Plus it's only like 80 minutes long so that's not too bad.

Holy fuck, I liked this movie. WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEEEEE!?!?!?

Here's the full movie if you'd like to watch it.


The Halloween Spirit is getting stronger within this one. 


  1. Loved your intro paragraph. Good stuff!

  2. I may have to do some Ulli Lommel, and this might be a good place to start.