Thursday, October 13, 2011

The 31 Baddest Days of Halloween: Survival Log Day 13

When I first woke up this morning, I'll admit it was hard. It's always hard until I get coffee inside me. But getting up THIS morning was especially hard. Probably because it's the 3rd day in a row that I've been going to bed too late and getting up too early. But hey, that's the name of the game. So I get up, kinda angry that I'm up, I take care of the animals and sit down at my "workstation." I pick up the Triple B-O-D (The Big Blue Bowl of Destiny) and shake it like spray paint. I beg it...please no Netflix Instant. I really want to put away some of those old VHS and DVDs I've had sitting around forever. I pull out today's movie and sure as shit....Netflix Instant. FUCK! So I get my coffee, get my computer warmed up and ready, turn on the movie.

And my jaw hit the floor. I'll never question the wisdom of the Triple B-O-D ever again.

This fucking movie is AWESOME! Look at that murderhand attached to baby legs. HAHAHAHAHAHA

So this movie is basically about a midget that has a real hard on for this stripper he's working with. She actually falls in love with this other dude and one night while the midget is groping her, she pushes him away and he gets pissed. So naturally he puts a dwarfian curse upon her unborn child. She has the baby and immediately it has that look of the devil in its eye. She is afraid of it. The first half of the movie is spent denying that the baby is evil even though it keeps doing evil things. The second half is where the majority of the fun is. Baby hanging people from trees and shit. It''s just so awesome.

This movie is unrelenting from start to finish. It starts out right at the birth of the child. The story of his origins is told through a few flashbacks. But since the baby is born right away, the filmmakers get right into its evilishness. Knocking shit over in his room, biting people, decapitating Donald Pleasence, that kinda thing. This all leads back and forth between the doctor (D.P.) and a nun discussing whether this is physical or spiritual. I'll spoil it for you. It's Evil. Amazingly Evil.

I highly suggest this movie. It's so over the top insane that there's no way anyone couldn't like it. There's a scene when the mother looks into the crib and sees the crazy midget. She screeches and turns away. Then when she turns back the baby is all like, "hehehehehehehehe". It's way more epic than what I write here.

This movie's great. If you're a parent, you need to see this movie. Don't even question it. You need this.

Air Humping.


  1. I have a VHS copy of this but it's called I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN, which would be equally as awesome a title on the box as this one. Oh my goodness, those baby legs turning into a murder-hand! Too good.

    And I absolutely hate when my baby knocks shit over and decapitates Donald Pleasance.