Wednesday, August 25, 2010

BAD MOVIE REVIEW: Watchers (1988)

Watchers is about the cutest damn horror movie I've ever seen.  I wasn't exactly sure what to expect while watching it but after it was over I am glad I did.  Lucky for me there is this old run down video store down the street from me.  They have a whole wall of vhs tapes they rent or sell.  Trying to weed out the inventory.  How lucky was I to find all four Watchers movies sitting there and in great condition.  So I picked them up and thusfar have watched the first one.

The plot is pretty creative.  It's based off a Dean Koontz novel with the same name.  From what I've read of other people's views on this movie is that you should avoid the film and read the book.  I guess the characters and events are completely different.  I, myself, did not read the book so I think that helped me to enjoy the film more.  Ok, the plot...secret government experiment (oh you know this'll be good) in which they create some super intelligent creatures.  First they make human intelligent dogs and then they make some mutant monster that is telepathically linked to the dog.  The point being?  The cute innocent dog would infiltrate enemy bases and the big nasty monster would follow tearing up everything it came across.  Beautiful.  Well of course both of these creatures escape and all hell breaks loose.  This all happens within the first few minutes of the movie.

As far as a horror movie goes it follows the rules pretty well.  The creature mindlessly attacks and murders everybody it comes into contact with.  You don't see much of it other than the occasional arm.  All the shots leading up to the end are creature P.O.V. so you see it killing straight up front.  I was a little disappointed at the end because there wasn't very good lighting to see the monster clearly.  What I did see wasn't all that cool anyway.

So why do I say its cute?  For the majority of the movie you see the boy (Corey Haim of the Lost Boys) bonding with the super smart golden retriever.  Its cute because they laugh and get to know each other.  The boy talks to the dog and it understands everything he says.  The dog has feelings for the boy and tries to prevent him from being killed.  It's kind of cute.

So if you're looking for a reason not to watch it here you go - The ending was kind of weak.  It happens too fast.  Boy hunts the creature, takes it down.  Whoop dee do da.  Corey Haim's hair style.  Yes its the 80's but good lord what coon nested on your head.  Gross.  The effects are sub par but there's not enough of them to really care.  And knowing that its based off a book I could actually feel that they struggled to whiddle it down.  It feels like there should be a lot more.  Why is the creature ripping out eyes?  etc.  So much more could use more explanation.  I think I should go get the book and read that.

So do you want to see it now?  In all honesty it wasn't painful to watch.  It was more cute and cuddly than anything.  Kind of a nice change of pace to feel good about watching people get tore up and eye gouged.  If you miss it, I really wouldn't be too upset about it.  But if you get the chance to watch it, its good enough for a rainy day.

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